Because She is Beautiful

Before we go any further, I think we have to come to some kind of understanding. There are different kinds of beauty in this world. Not everything is beautiful. Then again, not everything is ugly. Sometimes the two are interchangeable. Sometimes there is an in-between and sometimes there is a miscalculation of terms. Things we see as beautiful can actually become ugly and things we find ugly turn out to be beautiful. This is all a matter of perspective.

Not everyone has an open mind to see this. And I get that. Not everyone understands the difference between commercial beauty and true beauty. Not everyone is comfortable in their own position to admit their taste. Some people are sheep and follow the flock. Others are comfortable setting their own trends. These are the people I admire most.

There is natural beauty. There is the beauty we see when the sun comes up and there is the beauty we see when the sun goes down. There is the beauty we see at the ocean and at the beaches. There is lakeside beauty and mountainside beauty. There is the beauty of places like Carlsbad, New Mexico which is where my Mother was from. And then there’s The Grand Canyon. There is moonlight beauty. There is the beauty of the countryside and on the opposite end, there is beauty in the city. There is beauty in the slums and beauty on Park Avenue because in the end, everything is relative, especially beauty.

Everything is beautiful in its own right. This is true, regardless to the eye of the beholder. We all have flaws and defects. We all have quirks and unique mannerisms. This is what makes us who we are, and as such, individually, this is what makes us beautiful.

I think first and foremost, we have done ourselves an incredible disservice. Somehow, we have given into a false perception. We have been programmed and brainwashed by the circle of our influence. Our ideas of who we are and the face we see in the mirror is based on the proposition of what beauty is supposed to be.

But let me ask you something. Where does this come from?
Who decides the standards? Who says who is and who isn’t?
Was there a vote on this? Because if there was a vote, I’m not sure that I was ever given a chance to cast my ballot.

I have never been sure who picks the jury on things like this. I am not sure where these ideas come from or how fashion changes. I never understood why we struggle to see our own worth or value. More than anything, I wonder why most people struggle to see themselves as worthwhile instead of less-than.

Like most people in this world. I often lose myself to comparison. I forget myself sometimes, which is why I am reminded of one unavoidable fact: When it comes to being beautiful, no matter how pretty someone is on the outside, if they’re ugly on the inside, they can only be average at best.

Trust me when I tell you this . . .
You couldn’t be average if you tried.

I know that beauty changes; it transforms and grows. Beauty is something inside each and everyone of us. This is our core. There is eternal beauty and heavenly beauty. There is beauty that survives everything, even in a vacuum. There is love, like mine for you, which did not come without mistakes or mishaps, but this too is a living and breathing thing, which grows and changes, transforms and improves.

There is also something called living beauty. This kind of beauty is breathing and has its own heartbeat. Beauty like this needs all things to survive. Living beauty needs air to breathe and food to eat. This kind of beauty has a thirst that deserves to be quenched. It needs warmth and shelter. This beauty is like you as a child when you saw something for the first time. This beauty needs tenderness and guidance, direction and understanding. Above all things, living beauty needs to be nurtured before it wilts or dies.

Sometimes we falter. Sometimes we say undefendable things or make the wrong choices. Be mindful about this because this does not make someone ugly. No, these are just mistakes, which is okay because the beautiful thing about mistakes is everyone makes them.

There is no personal disservice worse than the false perceptions of ourselves. As a matter of fact, this is a theft of service. Believe it or not, beauty is a service. Beauty is a necessity. We need this the same as we need air. We will often lose sight of things in this lifetime. We will give in to the ugliness of our misperceptions and worse, we will frequently give in to misunderstandings and hold them for such a long time that they separate us from the beauty of human interaction.

For the record, I am not a fan of mass appeal. I am not a fan of the forced concepts or the commercial ideas that are rammed down our throats. Unlike the synthetic and commercial, as I see it, real beauty has imperfections. This is what makes beauty what it is. Beauty is what makes flaws become flawless. Beauty overcomes the flaws or the cracks and the imperfect figures or the unconventional ideas of the social norms. We are taught about beauty but we can easily be misinformed as well as misunderstood. Beauty is what makes imperfections unimportant. Social norms can mutate and change like the direction of the wind. But true beauty is constant.
(Just like you.)

I have never been sure where the comparisons come from. I don’t know why we look at someone with envy, as if something about us is less than or insufficient. I don’t know why insecurity comes in to rob us of better times and steers us away from seeing the bigger picture. I am not sure why this takes place and creates an idea of being inferior or causes us to act the way we do sometimes. I have never been sure who decided what’s cool and what’s not. I don’t know where trends come from or who starts them. And I’m not sure if I care to be honest.

I don’t know if it was a woman or a man that came up with the idea that you’re not supposed to wear white after Labor Day. I know it’s never a good idea to wear suede in the rain. But now that I think of it, does anybody even wear suede anymore?

I think the most beautiful way to live is to march to the beat of your own drum. Dance when you want to dance, live and love as much as possible, and laugh when you can because otherwise, the world becomes an ugly place. And be advised, ugliness like this is contagious. We see ugly things every day. We see beauty too. I just think it’s important to know the difference between them or else we risk finding ourselves living in an ugly existence. (Trust me on this one.)

To be honest, there were times that I thought I was ugly. In fact, there were times when I thought I was absolutely hideous. And then one day, I held a child in my arms. (That’s you.) I looked at my child and swore that she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. And at that moment, I realized nothing ugly could ever make something this beautiful. This means I’m beautiful.

Because of you . . .

2 thoughts on “Because She is Beautiful

  1. I too am sick of “synthetic” and commercial ideas of beauty, the mass appeal stuff. It’s boring. People who care about that are boring. Step outside of that paradigm and see the beauty in all the stuff you thought was “ugly” before. That world and its people are so much more beautiful and interesting than the so-called “mainstream” world. Comparisons are a waste of time. I too have fallen prey to them many, many times, especially as a female. But when they aren’t working, you have to ask yourself, why aren’t they? There’s a reason something doesn’t feel right. But that feeling is telling you a good thing, it’s putting up a roadblock. Why keep trying to get through when there’s something much better for you the other way?

    PS Your daughter looks so precious and sweet. You are so lucky.

  2. The uggliness of our misperceptions and the beauty of human interaction. I postponed aknowledging these concepts for a really, really long time. Thanks for reminding me that commercial beauty is part of life, but it doesn’t define it.

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