New Year’s Eve 12/31/20

So here it is, the last day of 2020. And here we are, hoping for something to come along and save us, like a vaccine or an answer of some kind, which can hopefully turn us all around. Maybe this is so we can get back to being human again. And tonight when the ball drops, this year will become last. I am writing this specifically to you. So, for the time being, I would like to clear away all of our sorry little distractions and scale back to the core of our natural being. 

I see no point in pretending to be anything different from who we are. I am not one to create New Year’s resolutions. There is no reason to say “New Year, new me” because the truth is I will always be me and you will always be you. And this is fine. In fact, I think this is perfect because faults and all, being who we are is our best source of natural talent. However, there are a few things that we can say goodbye to. 

It is early morning on my side of the hemisphere. The sun has yet to make its approach and I can hear the sound of rain as it falls against the roof of my house. There are lists of ideas and things that I would like to say goodbye to. Perhaps, you might like to add to this list but for now, let me begin.

First and foremost, I would like to say goodbye to the people-pleasing ideas, which prohibit us from reaching our full potential. I would like to say goodbye to the relationships that limit our ability. I want to say goodbye to the inaccurate assumptions of needy thoughts or the need to be accepted or the need for approval.

I would like to say goodbye to the social distancing that has prevented me from interacting with the people that I care for. Goodbye to the riots that ran through my city. Goodbye to the ideas that I held too tightly and goodbye to relationships I fed into, but yet, they could not feed me back or return the favor. 

I would like to say goodbye to the list of resentments we’ve shared this year. Besides, it’s not like we really  need them anymore.
Do we?

I am going to say goodbye to the times we’ve banged our heads against the wall and wondered where the headaches came from. I am going to say goodbye to the times we did the same things but hoped for different results. I am going to say goodbye to the old counterproductive ways of thinking. Goodbye to self-defeating ideas and the self-destructive behaviors that prevent us from reaching our goals.

I am going to say goodbye to the conversations that went unresolved and yet, they remained in our head to relive and re-litigate, as well as re-rehearse them until we could create a different outcome. I am going to say goodbye to the wasted energy caused by our internal conversations. 

I have no idea what the New Year will bring. I don’t know if things will be better or worse. Then again, the one thing I know for certain is that my old baggage will not be helpful here. I am a firm believer in taking a realistic approach. Anything else will only create a disadvantage.

I have seen people attack their new choices or new changes and the promise and they swear, they set up a schedule and a routine that becomes too much to maintain. They swear they can keep it up. They promise themselves this is it. This is the new routine.
But to what avail?
They set the mark at an unrealistic pace, which leads to a slow decline that eventually heads back to old ways of living or old ways of thinking. 
I have seen people come to their new jobs an hour early. They claim this is how they approach all of their jobs. Of course, they want to please their boss, so they set a pace for themselves that is too much to keep up with.
As time goes by, the hour early becomes 45 minutes and then 45 minutes become 30 minutes, which comes down to 15 minutes, until they’re just on-time and then eventually, they’re late. I have seen this behavior turn systemic because the inability to keep the pace sets up an idea of defeat.

Therefore, effective immediately, all I can be and all that I do will not be thwarted by goals that are not realistic, achievable or sustainable. When the ball drops, I will say goodbye to the year 2020. I will thank my past for the lessons I’ve learned and say hello to the future as it unfolds.

Out with the old, and in with the new.
I get it.

I know that my attachment to outcomes has been less beneficial than when I attach myself to my effort. I know that my attachment to the past or my past behaviors, especially my attachment to old ideas and old failures and mistakes have done nothing else but degrade my attempts to improve. I will say goodbye to this too.

I want to say goodbye to last year’s anxieties and the depressive ideas. I want to say goodbye to a year without concerts and shows. I want to say goodbye to a year without outdoor events or indoor events. No games. No tickets to Madison Square Garden. No gatherings and no hugs because God forbid we hug someone and get sick. So yeah, goodbye to this too.

As we cross the imaginary line between this year and the next, I understand that who I am is who I am. Who you are is who you are. Let’s not hold onto anything else. Let’s hold off on the commentary and the predictions because next year’s mistakes can be just like this year’s. Either way, we still have a race to run. We have a life to live. Ready or not, here it comes.

So, Happy New Year!
And remember that I love you.


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