For the record, I would like to make a few things clear. I have been on one side or the other of the mental health table for a very long time. Initially as a patient and later in life, I became a Life Coach and Certified Peer Recovery Advocate and Peer Specialist. I am certified in the State of New York. My goal was to break through the misunderstood barriers of personal limitations as well as to learn, find help, find relief and find both the motivation and the inspiration to grow and evolve. As a result, I found my purpose.
My personal quest was a journey to understand more about the mind and the way we think. I wanted to step away from the over-complications of clipboards and doctors with white coats. Therefore, I offer these ideas as a means to help create personal wellness and understanding. What’s more is I offer this as an idea that people can both change and improve as long as they use the ingredients that works best for them.
I began this trip because I wanted to dispel all of the myths and cancel out the common misperceptions about mental health challenges. I wanted to create an easier or more manageable conversation to help normalize our challenges at a personal level. In many ways we are similar creatures. We have the basic functions. we have the same basic needs like food, water, air and shelter. However, there are other needs that stem from a unique core that is unlike anyone else in the world.
“To each their own,” is a common thought that you will find in my text. The reason for this is because the saying is true. To each their own; as in to each is their own DNA. To each is their own set of fingerprints and to each is their own design in the iris of our eyes. To each is their own culture, taste, experience and life – and for this idea, to each is their own pathology or science. This is who we are and what makes us.
In the earlier idea of Understanding The Variations of Color, I mentioned my old friend Brian from my days on the farm. Brian is someone who was diagnosed as colorblind at an early age. In this case, color to Brian took on an entirely different meaning. The same as I would not be able to understand Brian’s perception of color, I would never be able to understand the sensation of touch from someone else’s hand. My point is that although two people can touch something as soft as velvet; and though the two people will both acknowledge the feeling is pleasant, no one can definitely feel the sensation of touch from someone else’s perspective.
Let’s start here:
Why is it that some people are highly motivated and successful and yet, there are others who have dedicated their life to perfecting their skillsets; only, somehow, they find that they come up short.
Why is a man like Warren Buffet with all of his money, and yet, there are people who worked harder, longer, faster and yet with all of their effort, how come they could never get their operations off the ground?
Is it luck?
Is this a difference of utilization skills or instinct vs intimidation?
What is it that makes people successful?
How is it that someone can pull off their trick?
Yet, there are others who find themselves playing to the letter of the law, only to come up short or bankrupt –
Same as the loops and swirls in our fingerprints or the variations of our eyes are unique, the science to our victories and successes are also perfectly unique. As a member of the recovery world and as someone who advocates for those with personal and mental health challenges, I endorse this idea that to each their own – and to each is their own road.
To each is their own pathway of thinking and to each is their connection to ideas, influences, biases and experiences. We all have our own neural pathways and maps in our mind, embossed memories, stimulations and senses. Therefore, since this is scientifically true, then my idea is that it must be true that to each are their own. Therefore, to each is their own ingredients to success and happiness.
There are of course the lucky ones born from the “Lucky Gene” pool who will never worry about money or wealth or struggle to find attention. It’s clear that not everyone is shaped or built the same nor do we all have the same talents.
It is clear that the idea of us all being equal has both physical and personal inaccuracies. As strong as I am (or not), I will never find myself in a weightlifting competition. Although I played basketball for the St Raphael Rams in the sixth grade, it doesn’t seem likely that I will receive a call from the NBA. While I am admittedly a sports fan, I don’t see my name headlining in any Mixed Martial Arts events. I doubt that I will ever play in the NFL but that’s okay because this is not my science.
There are people who have mastered the art of success and there are people who have mastered the art of appearing to be successful. There are those who work hard and move as fast as they can. They do this only to find that they are slower than the person who moves at a steady pace.
One evening, I went to visit a hometown hero at his Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu academy. I was speaking with one of his instructors. It was nighttime after work and although outside was wintery and freezing with snow on the ground, inside the school was more like a sauna. There were students working to perfect their moves, tumbling and rolling, and working together on the mats to improve their skills. I was watching a young man. He was obviously fit and physically strong. He was perhaps a high school wrestler. Moved fast. Shot hard. And to him, this was going to be a sure thing. He figured he would come in and show these Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu guys a thing or two but perhaps 20-minutes in, the young man ran outside to vomit in a snowbank. He came back in, changed and then he ran back out. Never to return.
The instructor pointed this out. Then the instructor pointed to a man on the mats with a black belt. He said, “Do you see him? He was overweight when he came in here and look at him now.” The instructor explained, “Do you see the guy that just ran out of here? He will never come back.”
It was clear to me that the difference between the two men was their personal science. Aside from determination, one assumed to go a thousand miles an hour until he burned out. One allowed ego to drive him. Another decided to make the long haul and go at a strong, steady pace.
There are people who work well under pressure. There are people who cannot work well with others. There are some who have their special habits and routines that assist them in improving their daily goals. But again, to each their own.
To “Be the Better and Embrace the Culture,” it is clear that we do not all share the same science. However, the most impressive are the ones who learned their tricks and how to balance life, work, health and happiness. By learning their skills, they found themselves more productive in less time.
The saying, “Work smart, not hard,” comes to mind.
To master this would mean to balance your life and all of your resources at their best potential.
Imagine that. Working fewer hours and achieving more . . .
There are times when we work ourselves crazy. We run a thousand miles an hour, only to fall short or not move an inch. Life is too short to live it according to someone else’s plan or blueprint. Rest assured that helpful hints are essential; however, the ingredients to your personal and professional success relies upon your personal science.
Understanding self means to celebrate our personal uniqueness and therefore, by embracing our personal science and differences, we can include our diversities and our special skills to become more than just part of the workforce.
Learn to celebrate who you are and you will learn to celebrate how to be successful. And remember, to each their own; so understand that success to you might not be the same as it is to me. But that’s fine because to each their own, which means we all have our own dreams. And mine is to reach my goals.