I take a look around and I say yes.
I say yes because there is nothing else I can do –
or maybe the only thing I can do is breathe.
So yes. I breathe.
I think about the pitfalls and the downfalls
and the disappointments and I say yes.
I think about the losses and the setbacks
and I say yes.
I say yes because I’m still here and bloodied or bruised
beaten or tired
I say yes because above all, I have never been broken,
at least not enough to quit
(not anymore)
I look at the sky.
I look at the ground
and at the leaves in the trees
which are about to change.
I think about the seasons which are about to come
and that soon enough, it will be Thanksgiving
and then Christmas and then New Year’s
and I say yes.
Once more around the sun, dear friends.
I look at the face of love and I say yes.
I say yes because there are curves and features
the big one and little ones and there is
an embodiment of beauty
which exists only for me.
This is for my eyes and no one else’s.
I own this and claimed it
No matter what –
I’ve earned this
I see the eyes of this wonderful person and I say yes.
I say yes because in spite of my craziness;
in spite of my misguided or misdirected frustrations;
in spite of the times when I am unsure of myself –
I look at the face of my love and I say yes
because my love refuses to give up on me.
I face the expression in the mirror and I say yes
Go on.
Don’t stop.
I look at the City and I still say yes.
And I will always say yes. I will always have this love for her.
I will always appreciate where I’ve come from,
where I’ve gone and who I’ve become
because I am in the heart of it – “in old New York”
I think of the sign from a playhouse
which has meaning to me.
I think of life’s fleeting ability and I say yes,
I think of a walk downtown, just before the world changed
and before the virus hit our cities.
I think about the rooftops and the places I’ve seen
from this coast to the west coast.
I think about the person I was, just six years ago
and if you told him that someone
would fly him across the country – just to hear him speak;
that person would have laughed or called you crazy
But I’m not that person anymore.
Then I think about the word itself. Crazy.
Am I crazy? Are you?
Are we?
I think about who I am and then I say yes.
I am crazy. Then again,
I think there’s a different substance to the word now.
At least for me.
At least I can say this is so for the way I am
or for the kind of crazy I want to be.
Am I crazy? Sure
I look in the mirror and I say yes.
I say yes because I’m crazy enough
to go at it and dare the line.
I’m daring the edge right now, as we speak
I’m crazy enough to come here
each morning and let myself be known
regardless of rejection
or the bullshit from the critics
I’m crazy because I would rather help and work
than talk or have meetings about emails
which could have all been solved
with a simple phone call
I read what I just wrote to you now
and I say yes
I say yes
because you wonder
if this was really written to you specifically and I answer “Yes”
because who else would understand?
Who else would I write this to?
I say yes because I want to
because I choose to and not because I have to
I say yes to myself to get ready,
to get set, and go
because if I don’t say yes,
I might never venture
and if I never venture
then I’ll never gain
And so it will be.
Out into the world
Yes . . .
So be it
The Written Addiction 