If I am and always was
then in fairness to myself
then I am and always will be
the sum of myself, which is
added to the masses of thousands of thoughts
and, therefore, I am the one who
I’ve always thought myself to be
Endlessly –
I am a series of rooms in the mind
which I have acquired
throughout the decades of my life
calculated by the moments
of my daily existence; in which
in some cases, I add and subtract
and, of course,
divide and multiply
Once more, I am the sum of all I’ve collected.
I am the solution and problem,
the dividend or the deduction
and with all of my heart,
my aim is to keep myself
from the rounding errors
that degrade me from my value.
I am a small boy
and a grown man,
changing, evolving,
constantly adapting
and still growing in the aftermath
of precisely 18,483 mornings as of this day,
right now,
which is how many days I’ve woken up
regardless of the wind,
the weather,
or the warmth from the sun.
I am a series of security breaches
and also
I am the sequence of victories
which eventually took place
over the adversaries in my head.
I am the afterthought of something
which took place, time and time again,
and consecutively,
I am the combination of a process
which I choose to call the secret of my endurance
which has also been a process
called learning
and while yearning for something more,
somehow –
I’m still here.
If I am and always will be
then in my case,
I have to come to the point
where I am and will be comfortable
even in the face of uncomfortable times –
because to move forward,
I must be able to step forward
without the addiction to passion or else,
I will otherwise be passionless
because the half-life of highs
will only dwindle to the midway lows;
in which case, all I’m doing is keeping me
from scraping myself off the floor.
All waves eventually tumble into sand,
therefore, enjoy the crest enough
so that when the waves end,
the surf can return us to sea.
No high is lifelong –
then again, neither are the lows yet
We find ourselves on the chase
or on the dangle
chasing our tail
or teased like a carrot before the horse.
The world is certainly in motion.
Nothing is still – not ever,
because time is always moving;
which in our case,
this is all we are –
a moment in time
and
unless I learn to keep myself going, as in perpetually,
as in onwards, or eternally like my love, or for always
Like my heart –
then I have to breathe enough life into this heart
this way, you and I can never die.
In all the world,
I want so many things yet,
who am I to stand in line?
Or who am I to say
who should go before me
or after and, therefore,
if I am to be anything in this world
then I must concern myself
with basic nature of my soul,
which is this – I am a man of sound mind
and going forward,
I do hereby swear and claim this life to be mine.
I do hereby renounce the accounts of my past
and refuse to recount the times
which no longer serve me well
because, of course,
to serve me is to honor me
and to honor is to benefit my life
Therefore, from this moment onward,
I do solemnly swear
that all the rites of passage
are to be claimed by the end of the business day,
that since no refunds will be given,
I will choose to find better returns on my investments
by investing wisely
or, above all,
my investment will be me.
Going forward, I will no longer dwell in my past
because, at last, the past is behind me
and all that is with me
is granted to be with me
because this way, going forward
the rest of the world is ahead of me –
continuously; as in consecutively,
each day after the next, one by one,
protected by the rites of Father Time,
clicking away,
one second after the next –
like it or not
So, thus –
I want you to understand something
The winds of change
will never change their methods –
only the madness.
Time will always be moving
without stopping
like a locomotive,
churning as an unstoppable machine – and, yes,
it’s true. It’s best to be mindful of the tracks.
Lord knows,
we wouldn’t want to be stuck in the cracks
and have “time” run us over.
I am, therefore,
in consideration
of the two most powerful words known to us
“I Am!”
These are two of the most powerful words
in any language
which are only words
in need of our direction.
I am –
Therefore, I was and always will be,
which also and otherwise means that I am
unerasable, irreversible,
and while the future ahead of us is unpredictable;
at least now,
I can call myself unstoppable
because no matter what happened . . .
I never quit
(and guess what . . .
. . . neither did you!)
Trust me when I say this –
I swear,
the world is ours,
at least for now
it is . . .
The Written Addiction 