1)

If I could say anything to you
I would say
“I understand.”

I would tell you that I am sorry
that is, of course,
if words helped
or sentiments could heal old wounds
or fix the wrongs of the past.

But often,
words mean nothing
and apologies do nothing more
than reopen the pains
of a broken heart.

Of course, I know what it means
to lose myself in excess.
I have done this and tried for more,
and found myself on the hunt for excess
until, of course,
someone told me
that I was
excessive.

1)

Have you ever lost your way
or have you ever lost more
than just yourself?

Do you know what it feels like
to lose your sanity,
or if we are bound to be brave
or brave enough to be honest
then let me ask you –

I have been told
that I do not know half
of what I think I know,
and half of what I think
is probably unprovable
or simply, untrue.

Therefore, my assumable problems
become astounding, by nature
and moving closer to the truth
I have been told that in the case
of Nature vs Nurture
Nature always wins.

But, how so?

I know there is a time in life
which can never be relived again,
and the mind is right
and all else is on-point, or perfect,
like the way we used to be,
remember?

There was a time when we were ale to
snap back into place.
We were fine to be resilient, or defiant
and young enough to grab lightning
and not be shocked.
We were free enough
to avoid consequence
or deny that the hands of time
would ever catch us
or keep us from feeling young.

1)

And so?
What now?
What becomes of something
that went wrong
or what happens next
to a life that went south
or what do we do
when all goes sideways?

I can say yes, lesson learned.
I can say yes,
if you want to keep a secret
then don’t tell anyone.
And yes
you can rest assured
that yesterday’s confidence
can be on the cover
of tomorrow’s newspaper.

Front page . . .

I am convinced that no one is so tough
or at least
no one is tougher than life
or life itself
because, safe to say,
life is tough
or perhaps I will say,
life is tough enough
just to live and breathe
or get by on your own.

I remember the old Mayor of NYC
and his question, “How am I doing?”

It is gone now
then again
what is gone if nothing has gone so far
or been removed?

What is?
What was?
What happened that was so bad
or harsh that woke us up . . .
or what took place
that took us from there to here.

Safe to say
that I have earned my place.
I have earned my spot here
or where I am.

And maybe it’s safe to say
I’ve earned my reputation,
because like it or not,
I have seen how outside interpretations
did not seem to match my intention
which means the rest of the world
is beyond me
and the same thing goes
with what other people think.

Safe to say . . .

And so?
What do we do with this?
Where do we go from here?
and, oh, I see . . .

Now that my world has changed,
I suppose it is up to me
to change as well,
or at minimum,
I suppose I will have to act accordingly
and though it’s me who seems confused
it is me who needs to move
and head beyond where I am now,
as in up and above.