You know what??
I don’t care.
Not anymore
So . . .
I think I will say what I have to say and to be honest,
I do not care whether you listen or if anyone else
is on board with me
or for the moment, I refuse to let the outside influences
do anything to me that makes me
deny my truth
that is –
even if my truths are hard to face
or
unfortunate

So,
here I go.

If you want it then you have to want it.
Nothing can stop this.
Nothing is allowed to get in your way and nothing, no matter what it is, no matter how big the obstacle is and no matter how thick the walls might be and no matter how high you have to climb and how hard you have to work, nothing is allowed to get between you and “it”

I slide into reality like one of those old great ball players who slide into third base with hopes to lead his team to a run that wins the game.
Jim Carroll said, “I just want to be pure.”
I don’t know how possible this is for me. Then again, there are those who live with their impurities and still manage to come out on top or they figure out how to get ahead without chopping off the heads of the people in front of them

I know I was told the last shall be first and the first shall be last.
And in all fairness and kindness to myself, I do not know where I fit in this race. I am not first or last but somewhere in-between.

As grown as I am
I am equally childlike
and immature at times,
and hence, I can see this clearly now
and more clearly than before
because, of course;
due to the benefits of hindsight,
my hindsight shows me how my flaws
can degrade me
and worse
my actions can be humiliating
if I am being honest. . .

Why?
Why do we fight?
Why argue?

Why do we fight so hard and lead with our strong hand
instead of showing patience
and why can’t we choose to be happy
instead of fighting harder to be right?

I am amazed . . .
And more, it amazes me to see how everything changes|
despite how everything is still the same..

I drove by the old house this morning.
Nothing is the same and yet,
not much had changed, except for me
and except for the landscapes.

The old bar is a deli now.
I used to hide in the back of that place
and sneak into the cellar.
Sometimes I slept there.
Mostly, I nearly died there
but somehow, here I am,
alive and well and able to tell you about this.

You think you have a choice, but no.
You don’t.
Who you are is who you are and of course,
there are reasons behind this
same as there is a reason behind “us.”

And so,
such is the way you are, such is the way you were born
and more, such are the reasons you exist in this world.
There is a reason for everything
I know –

I do not say change is unavoidable
and nor is change avoidable
but man can only hit his head
so many times
until he learns his lesson.
Late or not.
Lessons come with a price
and prices often come as consequences

Let today be sufficient for itself is what I was told.
So, okay.
I will let that happen and let today be different from the day before

There is an amazing way the city moves. I swear.
The City moves in different phases and then of course, the fashions sway from one extreme to another. And all this depends upon the time of day or your location, of course. 
I was always told New York City is the melting pot, or at least I was told this long ago when I was young.

I was told this before the words diversity, equity, and inclusion became the buzzwords that they are today.
I can agree that my City has different places with different vibes and to me, the vibrations and the neighborhoods all have a different significance to me.
All of them own different stations in my heart. And so do you, by the way.

Nevertheless, there are all kinds of people and different versions of beauty here. There is every culture and all kinds of people who come in all shapes and sizes. 

Before you go, I just want you to know
about who you are
and what you mean to me.

And so, before you go
you should know that my love for you
will never stop or be sick
or become too weak
to walk the world

Just know that my love
will live longer than my lifetime.
Know this.

Nighttime and all is right with the world.
I am dialed in and smooth at the moment, or even better,
I am like the softness of good music
smooth as ever beneath a starlight sky
in the cobblestone section of our
Downtown, New York City streets

The moon is on the rise.
The warmer winds are calm and the stars,
Good-God,
the stars are better than the sparkles
from the bursting rockets on the 4th of July.

I swear . . .

A pair of shoes, a shirt,
a known article of clothing
and a memory that serves you well
in your future life.

I watched something pure happen.
I saw a father and his son at the beach
yesterday.
They were looking through the shallows
collecting shells
and digging for sand crabs.