I am a fan of the discipline which states that there is nothing in front of us, but air and opportunity. I accept this motto as my own. I have come to the understanding that I have to honor this and keep this sacred, almost like a religious belief.
However, and wholeheartedly, I acknowledge the fact that intimidations are hidden in corners which seep through cracks that expose our weakest vulnerability and yes, I am aware of fear.
I am aware of doubts and insecurity and certainly, worst of all, I am aware of the ingredients of our distractions. I am aware of how we give up or give in to outside opinions and all else that would either disturb or disrupt our focus.

The word friend means a lot of things these days. And who knows?
Maybe it’s me. This could be true.
Maybe definitions change as time goes by. Or perhaps words take on new meanings, which is fine. No really, it is.
I think that everything we encounter in life will need to be reevaluated or updated.
But friends?
I suppose we look for different qualities. I doubt the things I looked for in my friends as a kid are all the same as what I look for in a friend now.

I need to switch gears for this one. And please, while beliefs may vary and opinions as well, I want this to come from the heart, from me to you.
I say this with all of my heart and humbly too because while I may be grown, or so people say, I am still just a kid.
(You know?)

I am a believer in the saying that if you don’t know, then you can’t know, which is okay.
No, really it is.
If you don’t know, then you just don’t know and that’s fine.
The last thing anyone should do is pretend as if you do know, which only proves them to be false, or fake, or any else, but authentic.

Where does the craziness start? When does it all begin? Is it the curiosity that gets to the kid?
Is it the angst? Is it the buzz? Is it the stories we hear about the parties that took place over the weekend? Is this the thing that leads us to wish that we were there?
Or, is it the feeling of being bad? Is it the adrenaline rush?
I think there could be an argument for all of the above.
Is it the attractiveness of being cool?
This is more like going faster than the speed of light and being twice as furious. Add this. Add the need for being noticed or included. Add the rage of a lightening bolt.
Is this it?

I have not come here to preach or teach anyone how to live. I’m not here to say that I know anything more than anyone else. However, my aim is to create a thought or at least some kind of understanding.
And it will come. What I mean is that a time will come and life will change.
All will be revealed, in a sense, and this is the best way to say it.
I believe in this. I believe in the different stages of enlightenment.

As far as advice is concerned . . .
Everyone has advice. There’s always someone out there who is eager to let you know about theirs.
At the same time, when it comes to love or when it comes to your love-life or the struggles we face regarding love, or the lack thereof; or when it comes to that feeling in your chest that you can’t explain yet you know it’s there – or when it comes to that moment in time when beauty is chaos or confusing, but when you see “her” or when that special person walks in the room –
I swear that all of a sudden, everything you knew and everything you thought or believed and possibly imagined somehow changes.
And it happens. “Just like that.”
I promise you.

What does it mean to be okay?
Better yet, what does it mean to be okay with all that goes on?
Or, wait . . .
What has to happen for a switch to take over in the mind?
What needs to take place for us to come to a realization where we understand that yes, “it is what it is” and when this happens, is this what occurs when acceptance takes place?

“I am what I am.”

Once more, I should explain that this journal was inspired by a special someone who shared some truths about their story with me. I was asked, “How come nobody ever told me these things?”
I don’t know the answer to this. And to be clear, I’m not sure that it is true if someone tried to talk about this or not. I am, however, a full believer in the saying that when the student is ready, the teacher appears.
I’m not sure if I was ready or able to understand certain items of my youth. Least of all, I am not sure that I would have believed that anyone could or would have explained my thoughts or feelings in a way that I could understand.

I can’t say that I know where this comes from or how this begins. But who is it? Who has the right to say who knows better or who knows best? Is age always the reason why someone knows best?
I can understand the difference in education. I can understand why a doctor would know more about the body or how a mechanic can troubleshoot the problems underneath the hood of a car.
At the same time, there is the odd hierarchy in the world, as if to say who knows more or who knows best. Yet, there are times when I swear – nobody really knows anything.