I admit that this one will sting. This entry is tough to report and I agree, this post might not be for everybody. However, I am not reporting this without reason. No, not at all.
I have been discussing the details of our internal narcissist. In which case, the inventory behind mine starts in my early life. Therefore, I offer this as a qualification as to where my misleading began. Of course, I know that this is subjective. My experiences were limited to me, a young man with a challenged version of life, angry, resentful and unsure of myself and everything else around me.
The word “Me” or “I” is used often because everything was drawn back to me. Sometimes introspectively and most times selfishly, I define my past with hopes to use a humble narration. There is no pride here or ego or need to save my face. Instead, my goal is to display my state of being overly self-involved and selfish. This did not come without its own science.
By no means did I come to these conclusions until much later in life. Yet, all the same and be that as it may, my internal narcissist grew from a seedling and spread like a weed. Until one day, the center of my wrongs began to compile around the same defects of character. 

This entry will be brief and due to the searching efforts, this entry will require an honest assessment of ourselves as to whether we want to change or are we only contemplating change.
Either way, whether it was something that happened in our life or if our awakening was somehow automatic, this means our eyes are open now. This also means there is no going back.
We have come to a realization that our lives were not the life we wanted. So, having had our awakening, whether this was spiritual, literal, physical or otherwise, our next move is to find the right path that can lead us to where we want to be. 

Now that we have found ourselves past the doorway and entering the ideas of change, it is time to ask ourselves a simple yet very important question.
Do you love your life?
Of course, as simple as this question is, the answer itself is not always so simple. Better yet, what does this even mean?
Does this mean that we love everything that happens to us? Do we accept the good with the bad?
Or, does this mean that regardless of what happens and regardless of the challenges we face, or regardless of bad news or good news; no matter what happens, does this mean that we sincerely love the life we’ve created?

Here we are, trying to find our place in the world. Whether this is simple or easy is up for judgment. Perhaps this is all relative and, in theory, everything is relative.
We’re all looking for something. But at the same time, we all have our searches. We have our own views and our own perception of what life is or what it should be like. We have our own parameters or margins of judgment which we try to fit between. Otherwise, we find ourselves uncomfortable or out of the scope.
Perhaps some people might say, “I just want to be normal.”

By now, it is safe to say that we have all heard the common definition of insanity. If not then let me place this here. It is said that insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, and expecting different results. In fairness, there are times when I am not sure whether we are insane or just hopeful. Or, maybe this is a case where I can say, “A little bit of both.”
Einstein once said “The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” Then again, Einstein also said “The only thing more dangerous than ignorance is arrogance.” I assume this is true. However, our ability to limit ourselves is incredible to me. I can see how we fall in the same traps or trip over the same hazards without fail.

Just a quick note before we move forward, my effort is to break this down into the simplest terms. As it is, we spend much of our lives overthinking or over-complicating ourselves. The suggestion, of course, is “Keep it simple” which can become complicated because we often clutter ourselves with the perceived ideas of complications. We project and we assume.
But –
The truth is we have a choice. Each morning, we have to choose when to get up and where to go. There are times when it may seem as if our choices are limited. Or better yet, we may not like our choices. We might not enjoy what’s in front of us. But still, each day comes with its own unique choices. 

They say that we have to leave our downfalls behind us if we want to move forward. I guess there’s something to this, right?
They say that the past is gone. We don’t live there anymore, nor do we have to. Then again, we also live in this thing called the real world. No one here is impenetrable. No one can say that they’ve never dealt with poor decisions or lived with no regrets. No one can say that they’ve never wished for a “take back” or a “do-over.”
Remember them?
It would be inaccurate to say that our future has never been shaped by the outcomes of our past. It would also be inaccurate to say that who we are has nothing to do with our chronological background.

The worst place to be in is a place that never changes, never challenges and never dares us to grow or walk on. We never evolve or try or move in a new direction.
We never find our passion and, essentially, we remain stuck.
There’s no drive or substance. There’s only more of the same which might be fine for some people. There’s no room for judgment here. However, when we look to make a change or if we want to improve our life, the inertia of change is intended to break the loop of repetitiveness. Otherwise, there is no change. Or, even if we have changed, without maintenance, we can find ourselves back in the loop. Or, as the saying goes: We’re back in the saddle again.

The miracle of awareness has always been interesting to me. I say this because suddenly, we find ourselves as if a light turned on. As if somehow, the concept of life and the way we live becomes so clear and we can see now. We can feel this, wide-open and in plain sight. We find ourselves at a pivotal movement when we’re not so afraid anymore. Or maybe we come to the understanding that there’s nothing to be afraid of and, suddenly, the excuses seem to vanish. The worries disappear and all that’s in front of us is a future opportunity. We come to the realization that there’s nothing between us but air and ideas. One step closer, and there we are, right where we want to be.

It is only fair that we distinguish that, in fact, there is a difference between situational ideas and our life as we know it. It is clear that all things change and whether we like it or not, everything changes. The world keeps moving and whether we get along or not, life is taking place. 
Even if we want life to pause or even if we want to take a break or catch our breath, life is still moving. So, it is only fair that we understand the difference between happenstance or chronic. We have experiences and influences. We have motivations and inspirations which are around us at all times. 
Also, it is important to note that words like experience or influence, or motivation and inspiration are neither positive nor negative. These are not mutual or exclusive; but more, these are primary drives that lead us towards the way we respond.