just prose: four things I know

There are certain things I know as fact. And I guess I’ve always known them, but sometimes emotions get in the way and I lose my focus.
In order to keep my sanity, I needed to learn not to give it away —
I need to remember the obvious, which in some cases, is not always so obvious.
That’s why I write things down…

First:
My redemption has nothing to do with your response.
The fact that I rebuild may be the result of someone, or something else, but in the end…
It is on me.
The way I eat, think, and breathe is not and should not be hinged upon anyone else
…and neither should my redemption.

I am my own separate entity in this world, and while I connect with other people, I will remain disconnected if I forget that I am the square root to my own equation.

Second:
(And I say this often)
My success depends upon my determination.
I have beaten odds
I have grown beyond what others said I could and would be.
And while yes, I stumble and fall, I still get up.
I have never given in and I have never quit

I relate this to the crab theory:
Crabs in a bucket try and climb out,
but as soon as one is close to the top and almost free,
another of its own kind pulls it back down from the bottom.

Misery loves company and failures love to watch others fail.
This is true.
Life is unavoidable—and so are people.
But if I am determined…then I am determined,
and no one (but me) can ever hold me back

Third:
No one will ever respect my boundaries if I continue to surrender ground.
Often times, there are no victims in life …there are only volunteers.

That’s why I stopped.
I stopped giving in and giving up ground
and
I stopped accepting the unacceptable.

Fourth:
Of all things I know; I can assure yesterday will never be any different than what it was. I know this because I spent years trying to change or recreate my previous paths,
but it never worked.

I cannot change who I am or where I have been.
This is fact

They say youth is wasted on the young.
I say that might be true, but regret is often wasted on the aged…
And I don’t want to regret anything, anymore.

These four things I know and I’ve always known, but life has a way of polluting out thoughts, and we sometimes forget ourselves. 
I don’t want to do that anymore.

I admit my faults, and further, I admit it has taken me decades to become comfortable within my own skin.
(I believe they call that acceptance)

And I’m not saying it’s easy —

But I’m saying it’s necessary…

 

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