After the bruises heal, the scars begin to form, and then they turn deeper, which is worse, because there are no scars deeper than the ones in your mind.
These are the deep cuts. They are the ones sliced by words.
They are the cuts of our uncontrollable outcomes.
These are the wounds that keep us from moving forward and steal our freedom. These are the scars that keep us from believing anything can be good, and worse, these are the wounds that bury our hopes and keep us from fighting back ….because we never knew we could.
Am I right?
It’s not the words or the punch that lands…it’s the aftermath.
It’s the fear that remains; it’s the fear of tomorrow. It’s walking on eggshells, watching your words, watching your step, and wondering what will happen next.
These are the effects of abuse…
There is no worse thing that could happen to a child. There is nothing worse than to be hit or touched in an inappropriate place.
I compare this experience to the birth of a weed……and weeds tend to grow.
They suffocate life and that is exactly what childhood is; the birth of life.
But childhood is easily stolen.
This is the effect of abuse
It becomes so that you think, “This is normal.”
You assume, “Everyone gets hit.”
It becomes so that you believe, “This is my fault.”
So you give in and take another turn.
But after the bruises, the yelling, and the insults are the remnants of every episode, festering like a sore that never heals, and layering over layers of memory, which never seem to clear or fade.
These are the memories that lead us to doubt the compliments we receive.
This is why people don’t believe in love. And why would they?
Why would anyone believe in love when the one person that was supposed to love them most is the same person that hurt them worst?
These scars and memories are what keep us unsure of everyone’s intention.
This is why compliments seem more painful than threats…because to us, threats are something we can understand.
And compliments…..compliments are what blindside us when we expect a different result.
Am I right?
The hardest thing we do in life is unlearn the lies we were taught about ourselves.
I say it’s time to let go….
It’s time to say, “No more!”
But the words, “No more,” have no power unless you mean them and follow through.
and this time….
I hope you mean them
and follow through