The Proposal

He stood in front if the mirror to practice his speech. He stared at his own reflection, staring an intense stare into the mirror, looking at himself to shake away the nerves. He was  a man in love. Before each rehearsal, he exhaled strongly through clinched lips, rounded as if he could whistle instead of exhale. He directed himself into action and then he preformed.

Aside from the way you look, which is beautiful, or the way I feel when your hand touches mine, which is incredible, what I love most about you is the way you sound. Your voice is like nothing I have ever heard before.
I love the way you speak and the way you say things. I love that your voice has the ability to sound so soft and gentle.
When I hear you say something to me as we lay next to each other at night, I realize yours is the last voice I want to hear before I go to sleep for the rest of my life. And more, yours is the first voice I want to hear when I wake up.

Aside from your voice and aside from the way your scent remains whenever I inhale to remind me that we were just together, the way your touch sort of remains on me like a shadow is what makes me turn around and want to run back to you. And aside from the way you touch me, when you walk into light, your eyes twinkle with a youthful spark. It’s enough to make me stop and think. it’s enough to make me feel as if there was someone in this world specifically made for me.
What I’m trying to say is now that I know you, I never feel alone—even after we say goodbye, I still feel as if you are with me. I love this most because it reminds me that I will never be alone ever again.

 I think about these things and I wonder how I can keep this for the rest of my life. How can I hold on to this feeling I have? And when I say, “hold on to this,” I mean all of it. I mean everything.

I think about you and realize that every twist in life and every turn, every fall, every wrong choice, or every missed an opportunity, this was nothing more than life’s little holding pattern. This was fate’s way to keep me in time for say, a dance, or to keep me marching in certain beat so that when the time came to meet you, I would be exactly where I was supposed to be.

When I think about you, I think about everything I went through in life. I think about the feeling I had before we met. I think about the hopelessness. I think about the lonely, mismatched connections, and the lonesomeness in large crowds. I think about the strange distance between me and the rest of the world. I think about the way I felt when I saw others in love.

Then one day I saw a picture of you. You were twirling barefoot in a pretty sundress. Beneath the picture were the words, “Best dress ever.”

 I could not say exactly what the dress looked like. I can only express the way I felt when I saw you. It was not the dress that impressed me; it was the way you wore it.
It was the way you twirled in the picture. It was something so simple that made you so perfect and beautiful.

I felt something inside me turn on like a light.  I felt something new and frightening. However, the feeling I had was also familiar, or better yet—the feeling I had was instinctual. It was was pure.
It was pure like a child; like when I was a small boy and collected lightening bugs in a jar. I felt alive when I saw your picture. I felt like I wanted to explore the world and nothing in the world could ever be so frightening again because you would be with me forever.

What I love most about you is that I loved you the minute I saw you. I loved that I knew you before I met you. I loved you when you opened the door for the first time.
It seems like I’ve loved you from a dream, only, my dream has finally come true. I can hold you in my arms now. And now that I can hold you, I can’t ever let you go.

Staring in the mirror, the young man exhaled to ease his nerves. He lifted his hands together and rehearsed the way he would display the opened ring box to reveal the glimmering shape of a humble, but yet, beautiful diamond ring

He stared directly into the eyes of his own reflection and finished his speech.

I waited my entire life to meet you. And now that I’ve met you, I don’t want to waste another minute

Will you marry me?

That’s it, he said to himself.

That’s exactly how I’m going to ask her.

God, it feels good to be in love


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