I think they call this human nature but it amazes me how simple it is to complicate the easiest things. We fall off somehow. We give way to distraction, which is hardly real and often imaginary.
We mistake want for needs and need for wants. We think too much. That’s right.
We think too much—and what do people suggest to help us?
Try not to think so much.
Is it that simple?
The answer is yes. And sometimes the answer is no.
During the toughest times of our life, whether the idea of rejection is internal or from an outside source; in the realm of overthinking, and in the realm of heartache, in the afterthought of our aftermath, and when the regret machine is spinning out of control, the machine in our head seems like something we can’t get away from.
It amazes me
The thought machine; the anxiety, the unrealistic threats we place upon ourselves. And me included, when anxiety hits, I have come up with the wildest scenarios, which are logically unrealistic; however, at the time, my anxiety was also logically unrealistic.
Since I do not speak for others, to be helpful for those looking to understand, I will bring this back to me and keep this simple.
The trouble with insecurity is the awkwardness I feel when interacting with others.
Over the last several days, I have been interacting with a class in which, we discuss coaching methods and ways to be more effective and impactful. This class will lead me towards state recognized credentials, which will also help my fee to be reimbursable through the client’s insurance.
The last day of class, the instructor left a blank sheet of paper with our names printed on top. The idea was to hand the sheet around the room. The assignment was using only one word, how would you describe the person named above.
I was unsure what would come back. I was unsure what people thought and what people would write. There were ten others in the class. There were ten other people and ten other personalities. There were also ten other opinions, included the instructor.
There were times throughout the class when I wondered the thoughts and the intentions of others. There were times when we spoke of case sensitive material and the conversation became intense.
The day before ended strangely. No one said much to each other when saying goodbye. We were shown several videos that were intended to be upsetting, which they were, for several reasons.
I spoke my mind. The others spoke theirs, and down the middle was the rift between us all.
This was done to remind us that we will encounter and interact with people that lived through unthinkable lives and did what would appear to others as unforgivable things.
We were to learn how opinion has no place in our practice; however, opinion is natural and so is emotion. Part of the exercise was showing us how to handle this.
After a few intense exchanges, the class ended. On the last day, we went over what we learned and how we plan to carry this along with us. Then we sent the paper around.
I swore there was going to be something snide. I was sure of it. Turns out, I was wrong on all accounts.
I learn more and more that thought and opinion is not fact. I learn more and more that it is very easy to over-complicate our interactions by overthinking and over-feeding our ideas of insecurity.
There are times when I have felt rejection and understandably so, I was hurt. And it’s okay to hurt.
However, it’s also okay to let this go and not assume every interaction will result the same way.
Each day, more and more, I learn the uselessness of my personal biases and how they keep me from moving forward and becoming the person I choose to be.
This is what happens when I think too much.
As a result of overthinking, I have complicated relationships to the point where they ended or split. As a result, I have complicated work relationships and compromised my efforts.
And why—because sometimes I think too much.
Below is one of my favorite sayings. No one ever calms down simply by being told to calm down. We need a replacement. We need a distraction. When my anxiety builds too high; I need something to intervene, otherwise, I ride the spiral down until this ends.
I have to replace thought with action. Above all, one thing I learned this week is about being me—I already got the job.
Know what I mean?
There’s no reason to sell myself or try to impress anyone.
It’s okay not to know what to say. It’s okay not to know what to do. It’s okay to be imperfect as well because we’re all imperfect and we’re all just trying to find our way around on this huge conveyor belt we call Project Earth.
Life can be simplified by not overthinking. Obviously, this is true. Remove pride and ego and life is a piece of cake.
Then our life is just action.
I use the word “Stop” when my thinking gains too much momentum. The idea of saying “Don’t think too much” isn’t real to me. Instead, I offer myself a distraction. I say the word “Stop” to myself because I know what this means.
Back when I used to have wild panic attacks, I would use a breathing exercise, in which I would say to myself, “That’s not real,” as I would inhale through my nose, and “This isn’t happening,: when I would exhale through my mouth.
This allowed my fear receptors to stop overreacting. This did not quell the emotion so much but this did allow me a moment of reprieve so I could improve my position and work to make myself feel better.
Life is easy to complicate
Everyone knows this
we just need to find our own way how to stop this from being so.
We have to find our own way out of the thought machine because all else is just action.