I have news for you.
There is always a way out. There is always a way to be better and there is always a way to improve. We may not always like it. We may not always believe in it. We may not always think this is true or that anything can help. But that does not mean that improvement is not available.
There is always a way. Sometimes, the problem is we don’t like the terms. We might not like the choices we have. We won’t always like the work we have to do and we won’t always enjoy the process it takes to pull through—but either way, there is always a way out.
The thing that stops most people from change is the anticipation. We anticipate the pain. We anticipate the struggles and the problem. We anticipate the feelings and the concerns of a major change, which is why most people fail to make their major changes to begin with.
Fear of the unknown discomforts will often keep us still. And moreover, fear of the well-known discomforts will also keep us still. This is because the fear of pain and the stress, or the fear of the work that we’d have to do, and the fear of the unknown calculations it takes to get life from point A. to point B. seems more than insurmountable, which is why people quit before they even get started.
Pain is an excellent motivator. However, pain becomes understandable. Whether the pain is physical or emotional is irrelevant because letting go of the pain is also a process.
I reached out to people that live in constant pain. Some are in physical pain; others live with intense depression and emotional torment. The common theme is the pain. The common denominator is letting go of the pain, which is not to say they did not want to be pain free.
But what if they allowed themselves a minute of hope? What if they allowed themselves a glimpse of something so pure and special? What if they allowed themselves to feel well or to smile, and then all of a sudden, the pain comes back again? In which case, hope was more painful than the pain; to believe, to try, to let go of the pain because put simply, what if we let go of the pain and the pain comes back.
I have worked with people that struggle with physical addictions and become somewhat a part of the fight against the opiate epidemic. The fears are the withdrawal. The fears are the life without a mute button. What would life be like without a dose to take away the idea machine and settle the countless disputes in the mind?
We struggle for new visions. We struggle to believe in ourselves. This fear is not limited to the above; however, this fear is open to anything.
This is why people never dare to step out of their box in the professional world. This is why people are afraid to continue their education or find new methods of professional development.
This is why people fail themselves with diets or exercise programs. This is why people fail to move forward because what if they try, and then what if they fail? What if nothing works? Then why bother?
The fear of failure is very real; however, I disagree with the idea there is a fear of success.
I do not believe anyone is afraid to succeed. Instead, and more accurately, it seems most common that people are afraid of the work they have to put in to maintain their success.
Our natural state is actually lazy. Unless we feel the reward, we are often quick to give in.
There needs to be a mindful line drawn in the sand. There needs to be a mark which we set for ourselves—and this plan must be realistic; otherwise we set ourselves up for disappointment.
If we set unrealistic goals and miss the mark and then suffer from disappointment, truth of the matter is we possibly sabotaged ourselves.
The reason is our apprehension. The problem is our irrational anticipation of loss, which is natural by the way.
Everyone has fears of loss. We all have fear of rejection. We all have a fear of failure and most have fears of public humiliation and shame. Sometimes the fears become so intense, we translate them through our actions by setting an unrealistic pace for ourselves.
Once we sense a taste of disappointment, that’s when we struggle. This is when people quit; it’s not because they’re afraid to reach or try and succeed. People quit because of the pain, the blood, the sweat, the commitment, and because of the dedication it takes to keep on going. People quit because what if they bleed, what if they struggle, what if they give everything they have and yet, they fall short of their goals? Then what?
Get up again? Try harder?
Is this the answer people want to hear>
Make no mistake about it.
Success is not pain free.
Neither is keeping it.
Life takes work, which is why I have to end my thoughts here because after all, it’s Monday folks.
I woke up at 3:30 just to get my day started. So I could come here with you. So I could write. So I could put in the work that will push me one step closer to my goal in 909 words.