This is my heart. Does it look any different to you? Can you see this? Can you hear it? This is my soul. It contains all that I need to think and feel, breathe and dream.
Do you see?
Perhaps, I can show you.
I am a series of ideas and a chain of events. I am the backbone of my soul. I am the way towards my fate and yet, I am the only factor that can ever hold me back. I am a young boy around the age of six or maybe seven. I am the realization that not everyone plays fairly. Not every memory is a benefit and not every lesson is taught by the appropriate teachers.
Take love, for example. Take the courtship of love. Take the novelty of romance or better yet, take the longevity of romance because in its brief instances at the beginning, and when the fireworks begin to explode and eventually dissolve, or should the novelty of our beauty wear off, it should be seen that romance is part of love and love itself is not a novelty. Nor should this ever be. Love is love is love is love and no matter what you say or what anyone else says about this; I have my love right here. And I’m not afraid to use it. (Or defend it, if you know what I mean.)
This is me. Always questioning. This is you. Always questioning as well.
Either way, the two of us are here on this big moving machine known as Project Earth.
Be careful. Sometimes we spin too fast. Sometimes we move too slowly. And sometimes it’s hard to gauge whether we are moving at all. But trust me, so long as the rock moves, so do we.
This is my mind. Does it work any different from any one else’s? Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn’t. The truth is I don’t know the answer to this. At least not completely.
I mean, I have my talents. I have my advantages. I have challenges and disadvantages too.
Don’t we all?
The one thing I know is that I will never understand what it’s like to see the world through someone else’s eyes. And I mean this literally. Not in a figurative sense. I know that no one will ever see through my eyes, which is fine. This just means we all have the right to be unique.
I know that although we walk the Earth together, you and I will disagree. You will have your opinions and I will have mine. This does not mean neither of us can co-exist.
Do we have to be enemies if we disagree? What if we were to allow us our differences? What if we were to forgive our trespasses the same as we forgive those who trespass against us?
Would this work? Would you be free to be you and I could be me without retaliation?
This is my life. I am part of this whole cosmic groove. I am part of a system.
Like it or not, I am part of something without even knowing the role I play.
Does this make sense to you?
I am part of your life the same as you are part of mine. We both inspire people. We motivate people. This is neither positive or negative but instead, this is only fact. We have an impact on each other and so many others. Most times, we fail to realize this. Therefore, we can do one of two things in this world. We can learn to see clearly or we can fog our vision, which in turn can do both of the same for other people because after all . . . life itself is very contagious.
Remember something: Violence begets violence. Anger begets anger. Hatred seeks hatred. And more than any of the three I’ve just mentioned, ignorance can be the most contagious virus in the world.
Don’t believe me?
Look at what has happened to us. Look at the two sides we’ve been split into. Listen to the rhetoric. Listen to the spew of misinformation, which will only mutate and grow and become worse as the day progresses.
Do you want to know who I am?
I am a young boy with overalls and no shirt, no socks, no shoes, sitting on the dock at a small lake in the mountains. I am young and hopeful. I am skipping rocks. I am hoping that one day, I can grow up to be big and strong. I don’t know to hate. In fact, I don’t know what hate is because we have not been introduced yet.
I am this boy, sitting in the sunlight with a long stick and an imaginary fishing line that dangles in the water. I am the man of the sea. I am a dream. I am love and a smile and a laugh.
I am this in my original form. I am more like this than who you see, bigger, much older, heavily tattooed and hardened. I am not afraid to fight, by the way. I have my share of scars. I’m just tired of adding to my collection.
I have so much to give and I am willing. I am this boy, unafraid, unaffected, undeniable and unaware that one day the world will change when we introduce a simple word that changes everything. Ever hear it?
It’s called disappointment.
I am the child within. I am the pain I felt when I found out what it meant to be hurt by someone close to me. And why I say hurt, I do not mean to say that I was physically hurt. No. This pain is the kind that changes the trajectory of our life. Call it abuse. Call it betrayal. Call this neglect. Call this molested youth. Call it a hand or give it a name. Truth is, I know about this all, firsthand.
No . . .
When I say hurt, I mean the pain that hits the heart. This is the pain that teaches us to flinch. This is the pain that causes us to stutter in the sense that we anticipate the worst. We fear. We anticipate. We predict and we prepare for war. Yet, in the meantime, we miss out on moments that matter most because time only comes around once. And yet, time keeps on coming.
Do you see?
I am a teenager. I am a ride in a fast car with the top down. I am the need to howl with the boys, to scream, to go absolutely crazy and wild, to let it all out and be free. I am the need to sing and dance without the concern for the sound of my voice or the rhythm of my step.
I am like you in which, I mean all I want is to be free. I do not want to be pointed at. I do not want to be seen as “Special” or treated differently because I am seen as different.
I want a bedtime story. I want to sleep in the beard of The Father or nestle in the palm of His hand. I want to dream, think and rest without worry or concern.
I just want to be me without apology. I don’t want you to have to apologize either. I just want us to get along like two kids on the playground; eager to go down the slide or swing on the swings and play a game like say, Red Light, Green Light, 1,2,3.
I don’t want to play Simon Says anymore. I’m not sure who Simon is anyway nor do I know why Simon has the right to dictate what we do.
I don’t want to be part of the mob or the crowd. I don’t want to argue or fight. I just want to be me. You can be you. And we can be fine to think differently. We can be fine without worrying about the social media bullies and the incessant chain of emails from people trying to push their political opinion.
I have news . . .
We’re all wrong. Two wrongs don’t make a right. My side or your side, no matter where we storm the gates or who the gates belong to, wrong is still wrong.
I think it would be better if we go back to the old rules and learn to share, play fairly, or like my favorite writer Robert Fuhlgum says, maybe we should hold hands when we cross the street.
I know I’m willing to try.