Fuel

It is safe to say that we meet all kinds of people. It is safe to say that we will meet unforgettable people. We will meet the remarkable ones who no matter where they are or where they come from or move to, there is and always will be a place in the heart for them.
Along the way in this thing called life, we will meet friends. We will love people. We will need them in our life and of course, there will be times when fate is being unkind. Yet somehow, almost mysteriously but always timely, the people we need most in our life instinctually arrive. We need these people. We need to be sure to keep them whenever possible.

We need to understand there are people who will do the opposite. Not everyone is kindhearted or a perfect match for us. Either way, we still need each other.
We need each other because we learn from each other. We can learn from everybody, even from the so-called bad ones. I have learned most from the “Bad ones.”
I’ve learned there is a contrast between benefits and misfortunes. I’ve learned to understand more about me and how I interact with the world. Moreover, I’ve learned more about my needs and the natural, sometimes automatic codependent nature that I was trained to live with. I’ve learned about my needs to be heard and liked, wanted and desired. I’ve learned how this has more to do with me than anyone else.

There is often a crossroad which we come to. We find us here and we wonder about the life we live and the people we live with. There are often the ideas of our relationships. In this case, I mean the unfair relationships. I mean the one-sided ones.
In this case, I mean the relationships that are either hurting us or lacking the mutual benefit we deserve. There are times we outgrow ourselves and times when we outgrow our surroundings.
We’ve outgrown the people we surround ourselves with. This is not to say that we are better than or worse than. Not at all. Instead, we have come to an understanding that we simply want more for ourselves.
This is not good or bad, better or worse.
This is only a moment of awareness. This happens when we realize that we have different needs and goals now. Or, maybe we have different wants and desires that deserved to be met.
There will come a time when even the people who we thought were on the same page; we come to realize that our drives are different. Our motivations are on different levels. And again, this is not about better or worse. This is more about us achieving our goals in life. This is about our rights to have the life we choose to live.

As for our goals, there are different types of people. There are those that will cheer us on and mean it. There are those that openly put us (and everyone else) down. There are those that cheer for us but secretly wish that we fail and there are those in the distance that seem as if they’re not paying attention, but yet, they see everything, and for this, they’ve been inspired.

I understand jealousy.
Jealousy is natural. It makes sense to me.
I get it. I really do.
I am comfortable looking at me and seeing where jealousy has failed me with a degrading source of energy.

I have learned a very valuable lesson
Admiration and envy come with two separate energies. Both are fueling. Both energies cause drive but they split in different directions.
There is anabolic energy and catabolic energy. This is important to us. This helps us with our successes. This helps us with our interpersonal relationships as well as determine our leadership qualities and abilities.

Anabolic energy contributes towards growth.
Catabolic energy breaks us down.

Anabolism: [ uhnabuh-liz-uhm ] 
constructive metabolism; the synthesis in living organisms of more complex substances from simpler ones (opposed to catabolism).

Catabolism: [ kuhtabuh-liz-uhm ]
destructive metabolism; the breaking down in living organisms of more complex substances into simpler ones, with the release of energy (opposed to anabolism).

This is important for us to know and understand. This is how we fuel our system. This is also a way we can understand the people we include in our life.
When thinking about troublesome or struggling relationships or the surroundings we face; the question becomes which energy pertains to them? Are the people we surround ourselves with building and supportive. Or do they break us down? Are they draining? This is important to understand.

Along the way, I’ve met people and along the way and throughout my life; I’ve been both a supportive and destructive source, depending upon my mindset.
I have learned that there are people that are only capable of taking instead of giving. There are people that can only care for themselves.
By the way, I used to take this personally. There are people that are sneaky and underhanded. There are people that do not understand nor reflect the dignity of a handshake.
And, adversely, there are people in this world of whom they breed such a positive energy. There are no needs to one-up them or be “Better” or prove myself.

I have learned that both energies exist within me. However, the energy I feed most is also the energy that thrives the most. Therefore, I can either feed my drive to build or I can nurture my drive to break down and degrade myself. This is important to know.

How many times have we had destructive ideas in our mind, swirling around, mutating, multiplying and getting worse. And then what happens?
This kick-starts the energy that spins the anxiety machine. Next, we are primed for an argument. We are ready to respond. Our leadership levels are poor. Our interactive energies are not at our best. This is catabolic.

There are times when we look at our life and come to the understanding that this is time for a choice.
This is our personal spring cleaning.

Ask yourself:

  • What are the things that are most draining to us?
  • Who are the people in our life that are not mutually beneficial and reciprocal?
  • What behaviors rob us from our true joy?
  • Where are the joys in our life?
  • When do we make time for ourselves to resurrect, build, create and experience personal rebirth and anabolic growth on a daily basis?
  • What (or who) are the most draining aspects in our life?
  • How have we let external distractions cause internal dilemmas?
  • How can we create a stronger anabolic source to achieve our goals?
  • When do we start cleaning our personal inventory and take the next step to reach the life we wish to achieve?
  • When will we give ourselves the permission it takes to rid the catabolic sources in our life so they can become nothing more than unobjectionable?

Change begins within. Whether the catalyst of change is enough to create the fires that burn deep within us is solely dependent upon the energy we feed it. Whether we fuel our desire or we fuel our demise is entirely up to us. This is important to know. 

Look around you. Look at your circle of influence. Look at the people you see on a daily basis and the people you confide in. What does this look like to you?
Think about your personal presence and your state of mind. Next, focus on your goals and pick out the sources that feed you as opposed to the ideas that drain you. Find your fuel. Direct your energy. And get out there.

Fuel the sources that serve you best!

Man Stoking Furnace | Photograph | Wisconsin Historical Society

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