Nothing is ever going to wait.
You know this, right? The saying “Time waits for no one,” is true.
Time doesn’t wait for anyone. At least, not in this lifetime.
Time moves and someday, the sapling we see will someday become a tree, tall enough to shade the grounds that you and I used to walk on. Eventually, all of this will be a memory. Even if we are stuck, like say, stuck in the past for example; or say, if we ourselves are caught in the snags of something either said or unsaid, either way, the morning will still change to become noon. Before we know it, noon becomes sunset. Then twilight becomes nighttime until morning comes again.
Life works this way. No, really. This is the truth.
There is so much more to life than what goes on inside of our head, and yet, all we know is all we can see, which is incredibly shortsighted if we think about it.
An apology or forgiveness is either said or given but beware, there are only so many windows of opportunity. So be advised these tiny windows we call options will only be open for a short amount of time.
See, to us time and life is extraordinarily finite. Eventually, we grow older. Life comes to the point of diminishing returns, which means the moments of availability will shrink as we get older.
There is the idea that happiness can either be life-long or short-lived. Rest assured, life can either be what you want or a total disappointment. Either way, the choice is ours.
We can argue and bother and prove our point. We can stand firmly. We can be proud. We can go from one bout to the another and count our scars until our very last breath. Or, we can live a little. We can learn and love and laugh. We can go in whichever direction we choose. Either way, we only have so much time before we are timeless.
I acknowledge this.
I swear we have a problem with distractions. Don’t we? What I mean is we lose ourselves to inaccurate dramas and unnecessary problems. There are times when yes, we need to go our own way. There are doors that have closed. In some cases, it was me that closed them. in other cases, the doors were closed on me. I accept this. I accept the laws of nature, which I cannot change.
We give in. We think too much and complicate things too often. Meanwhile, there is a greater picture to see. There is much to learn. Believe this.
The world has much to offer but again, our time to learn is finite. A day will come and the landscapes will change. The little girl will have grown and the youngster will be an adult. Time is always fleeting. Life is always changing, constantly. Perhaps, learning to evolve with this would be a great benefit to us all.
I think of the changes I have seen. I think of the buildings that have come and gone. I think of the changes I have lived through and the times, which I thought would never see, nor did I ever believe I would see certain things again. But ah, life and me are full of surprises.
There are times when my heart is heavy. There are times when my stress is high. I have moments of doubt. I have times when I doubt if anyone is truly on my side. I am uncomfortably alone in crowds (sometimes). I find my thoughts leading towards the ideas of rejection.
I know this is me.
I get that this is in my head; and even if this is true and the rejection is real, then so what? I can either feed the demons or speak with the saints. I can either find myself, feeling alone, or I can change my course of action.
I can create my own newness.
It is inaccurate to say that heartache is not real. I hurt the same as everyone else. I’m human too. I feel and I hurt and I ache. I wonder and I worry. I hope and I step forward because what else can I do?
Either I stand or surrender and subside into waste.
I have no other choice but to move and continue. I have to find something. I have to create a vision. I have to find a source of peace; otherwise, the alternatives can be dangerous. In which case, I need something. I need a fuel source. I need a rescue or a safe haven. So I build one.
I use my visualization to help me find peace. I use the different visions I have of the water, the ocean and the waves that come crumbling into the shores.
And the beach, God I miss you.
I wonder if or when I will see her again. I wonder about the Westside.
I wonder if my thoughts of California will connect to real life experience and behold, I will find myself there again on my own stem. I wonder about the beach out there. I wonder about Malibu.
I wonder about the shore and how the waves looked when they folded down and crashed onto sand. I stood to face the Pacific. I felt the sun on my face. I faced west and for the moment, the Eastside of my life was behind me.
The water that covers the globe, the body, the Mother of all; the Earth, the greatness of breath in the winds that sweep across us. I am at peace here. My toes in the sand. The tides come inwards and outwards to carry away my anxieties in waves, which I use to calm myself.
I close my eyes to see this.
I envision myself, exactly where I was. I can see the sands around me. I can feel the offshore breeze against my face. I can feel the heat from the sun as if the warmth was available to melt away my concerns.
My feet are in the shallows now. The water rushes in at me to about the depth of ankles deep. The waves are an example of The Great Mother’s lungs, breathing in and out.
And me, I breathe. to meet the grace of Mother Earth.
I inhale slowly through my nose and then I exhale from my mouth. I let myself feel the air rushing up through my nostrils. I inhale, cool and fresh. I fill my lungs to capacity and then I exhale from my mouth.
I think about the rhythm of the beach and the sound of the waves as they come crashing in. This is my inhale. Then there is a pause between the cycle of the waves, which I pause as well.
Next is the hissing sound of the waters that pull back to the sea. This is when I exhale. I breathe in and out to take on the rhythm of the shoreline. I allow the waves to come in and cleanse me. Then I pause. I let the waves drench me. And when the water recedes, I allow the waves to wash away the debris of my unwanted sediments. I let this cleanse my thoughts and my worries. Put simply, I let the waves take away my aggression so that my seas can be a bit less tumultuous.
So much of life is uncontrollable. Sometimes, all I can do is breathe. Otherwise, I find myself contemplating the madness. Otherwise, I find myself stuck somewhere in traffic, cursing at someone on The Westside Highway in New York City. And who needs that? But I guess hey, maybe the Westside Highway beats the 405 in Los Angeles.
I often talk to people about the four L’s.
This is the way we live, love, laugh and learn. This is also the state of our mental health. Anything that impacts this is something that affects the way we live, love, laugh and learn, which in turn, affects our mental fitness.
And to be honest, sometimes, I feel out of shape.
So I breathe. I look for that visualization of mine to find peace. Otherwise, I find myself in troubled territory. And I’ve been in enough trouble for one life. So rather than argue about politics or the state of The Union, I’d rather work on my four L’s. This way, I can live more, laugh more, love more, and hopefully I can learn more.
Hello, Monday.
I heard you were coming. And that’s okay.
I’m ready for you now.
The Written Addiction 