The Daddy Diaries: A Letter

I don’t know where people go when they leave. For one, I don’t know where I’ll be when the future changes. I don’t know what happens with people after they lose touch or have a falling out. I only know about what happens to us, or should I say me. I know that the rest of your life is right there. Everything is in front of you. The choice is yours, who stays, who goes and all the options in-between are right there and yours for the taking.

There was a rule when you were younger. The rule was always wait for the old man. And the old man was me.
I miss those days . . .
There was a time, which seems so long ago but I remember it well and often too. There was a time when you fit in my arms and I could hold you. I could carry you. There was a time when your world was much smaller and I was so much bigger.
This was long ago. I know.
There was a time when we joked about make-believe bears that chased us in the park. We would laugh because the bears would chase but they couldn’t catch us. Not even if they tried.  And we’d climb up on the little jungle gym remember? The bars were shaped like a little school bus. We’d climb on and say, “The bear can’t catch me up here.”

There was a time when you looked at the world and everything was new. You had wonder in your eyes. I think about this. I think about your need to play and enjoy.
Then I think about the distractions that come with adult life. I think about the frustrations. I think about the resentments that came with divorce.
I think about the silliness of emotional competitions and the immaturity of us so-called grownups. Plus, I think about the resentments that come when life is compared to other people. This is crazy, by the way. For some reason we lose ourselves to comparisons instead of appreciating what we have. I think about my faults as a person and of course, I wish there was a rewind button. But there isn’t.
And I know it. I’ve let this go. I’ve had to accept my faults as well as forgive myself for having them.

There will be times when you face life very differently from the way you do now. There will be somewhat of a revelation that comes. A day will come when you realize although parents have titles, the truth is parents are people too. This means we are human. This means we are born to live and born to make mistakes the same as everyone else.
And I get it. There are times when things seem unforgivable. There will be people in your life that do or say something, and no, there is no coming back from it. 

I can only say this to you; be mindful. Be aware. Be prepared because there is more to come. People make mistakes. We say hurtful things. We do hurtful things and most times, the things we do are an extension from us and our emotional thinking. This is more about us and less about other people. 

There are things I would like you to know. There are feelings that come without any true explanation. There are ideas that fire off and lead us into crazy thinking. As a matter of fact, there are times when we can think ourselves into craziness. We can think ourselves into war. We can think ourselves into an argument that could have been totally avoidable.
The mind is a trick. It can be either one of two things. Your mind can either be your best friend or your worst enemy. Either direction has an effect on how we live, love, laugh and learn. So choose wisely.

There is this word called insecurity.
Ever hear of it?
I’m sure you have. I’m sure everyone has. 

I can say that insecurity has literally ruled most of my life. In its pathway was the destruction of friendships and relationships. My insecurity led to self-destruction, self-sabotage and the self-fulfilled prophecy, which I choose to call loneliness.
Meanwhile, my path towards happiness was interrupted, My hopes were intercepted by the miscalculations of insecure thinking. I thought too much and enjoyed too little. I worried and I waited for the next thing to go wrong. But then again, this is me. And this is not about me.

Not at all . . 

Life is going to come at you. There will be things that you do, which at one point in your life, you’d swore that you’ll never do.
There will be things you say that you swore you would never say. There are going to be incidents and accidents, failures and recoveries. There are going to be moments of understanding and times of confusion. There will be times we wish we could just forget. And there will be people we wish we could forget too.
There will be regrets. There will be times when life is simply not okay. And nevertheless, there will be times when we judge ourselves too harshly. There will be times when all you can do is breathe because there is nothing else we can do. Remember, beating yourself up is all about judgment. Learn about this. Understand more about you.

I’ve always wanted to give you something. I want to give you something worth keeping. And this isn’t advice. This is not an opinion. No, this comes from studied facts and actual research.
The thing about life is no one gets out of it alive.
We are all just trying to figure out our best place in the circle. No one has a roadmap to success. Life is a bitch sometimes. Life takes a lot of work. Life is a puzzle, a trick, a riddle and a mystery.
Life is a long lesson. Life can either be recurring or new. There is so much out there and it’s all waiting for you to discover. So, please enjoy. 

My Mother used to tell me that children are only a loan. She used to tell me that we only have our children for a short amount of time. I think there would never be a wasted moment if more people grasped this concept.
Arguing and fighting is the biggest waste of time. Proving your point is often pointless. There are so many things that can be missed in a day. There is only so much time to appreciate the colors of the sunrise. And more to the point, there are only so many sunsets that we get to share with one another. 
So, don’t waste them . . .

I offer this to you because sometimes people learn this far too late in life. In which case, they suffer the painful realization that they missed out on some of the best times because they spent their energy on pointless concerns. 

I have learned that three things come differently to us. As well, the lesson comes at different times. Knowledge, wisdom and understanding are three valuable qualities. It pays to sharpen these skills. 

One, it’s great to know things.
Two, it’s great that you know, but having knowledge of something is nothing without the wisdom to be able to use your knowledge
And lastly, three, knowledge and wisdom are impactful tools. However, understanding how to use all of what you have and understanding yourself and who you are is the true pathway towards happiness. This is peace from within.

One, because now that you know and understand, no one can ever offend you.
Two, now you know your value and you have the wisdom to use it and share your worth.
And lastly three, now that you know and now that you’re wise enough to understand, you will see that most of what people say or do is a projection of them. Hence, nothing will ever be offensive and going forward, you will never blame yourself for other people’s unhappiness again. 

I don’t know where you’re heading but wherever you go, I hope the destination is a happy one

2 thoughts on “The Daddy Diaries: A Letter

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