There is always someone around to tell you why your dreams will never work. There is always someone looking to disprove your theories. There will always be crabs in the bucket.
There is always someone who looks to criticize and point out your flaws. They’ll tell you what’s wrong to keep you down. And be mindful that this is about them. Not you.
Keep in mind that not everyone will be onboard with our plans. Not everyone is going to be a fan and not all friends are actually friendly. Although sad, this is still true. There are people who cheat, lie and steal with a smile on their face. There will always be someone who looks to spoil your outlook and trash your perspective—and they’ll do this as if this is their job. People will direct you as if your success is linked to their failure or vice versa. There will always be biases and there will always be the Pygmalion Effect.
Ever hear of this?
The Pygmalion Effect?
The Pygmalion Effect relates to a psychological circumstance of how expectation can modify our behavior. Here’s where the self-fulfilling prophecy shows; whereas, a belief about us is proven true because the belief impacted the way we behave. This is when someone’s doubts become our doubts and their beliefs about us become our beliefs about ourselves.
For example, think about the worst teacher in school. Think about the abusive teacher who calls their student an “Idiot,” or the coach who called one of their players “A loser!” Think about a test that followed and the student failed. Or, think about a shot that was missed by the player that was called a loser.
This is real.
Think about the mindset this leads to. Think about the impact. Does treatment like this boost morale? Is this an example of anabolic energy? Or, does this degrade morale and serve as a catabolic source? Regardless of intention and poor choice of wording; the interpretation can affect performance.
Consider our subconscious programming. Think about our personal biases. Think about the name of someone at work who causes the eyes to roll and people shake their head like, “Oh no!” If this person is tied to a project, the mindset is already doomed. Therefore, the project begins with difficulties instead of advantages. Now, consider a team leader who is fun to work with, who is empowering and encouraging and consider the impact this person has on their team. In this case, the project begins with advantages instead of problems; thus, the team is eager to work together and the plans run smoothly.
Think of a coworker who is nurtured as a star. There are other talented workers who witness this and wonder why nobody nurtures them. Think about the leader biases and the entry to mid-level biases. “I’ll never be able to improve or be ‘Like’ them!” There is a mood that can be set here. There is an effect that impacts the way we think, work, act, perform and respond. Be mindful of this because this can lead us astray.
There is always someone out there who will tell you why you can’t achieve your dreams. However, it is important to be mindful that this is about them. This is about their limitations, their biases and their personal experiences. On the other side of this, there will always be someone with a copout, there will always be someone with a complaint. There will always be someone looking to call foul and point out the unfairness. There will always be someone looking to explain why they can’t make it. They’ll tell you why they’re at where they’re at. They’ll say why others are more successful. This is more about them than it is their disadvantages.
I think of an animal in the wild and how it never regards the unfair advantages of the outdoors. Instead, the animal only seeks to endure and survive.
I think of the tools we use. For example, I think about a long screw and the screwdriver. Neither is intimidated by the other. Together, they are unemotional. The operator is the emotional one and emotions can be distracting. Therefore, disadvantages can be distracting.
“I believe; therefore, I am.”
We talked about the trees and the Solomon Islanders. We talked about the two plants, one was nurtured and the other was not. We talked about the degradation of self-talk. We talked about the difference between anabolic and catabolic energies and the understanding of the two. Our mindset is the secret to our endurance. Our decisions and our dedication; our resilience to pain, danger, failure and heartbreak is the very thing that helps us get back up when we fall down. Our mindset is what allows us to survive, regardless of the elements, the circumstances or the interaction of others.
How many students fail a class and if asked why, they say, “Because the teacher hated me!” Now this may or may not have been true; but since the belief is true, the reaction to this belief leads to a subconscious bias. This leads to a thought process that affects the student’s interest and performance. Besides, who wants to ask a person for help if they believe this person dislikes them?
This happens in school. This happens in our business and our personal life. Therefore, be aware. We have to be mindful of our company and how we interact with each other. We have to be mindful of who we listen to because otherwise, our spirit can be defeated. With regards to the screw and the screwdriver, remember neither is intimidated by the other—it’s the operator who becomes intimidated, in which case, we are the operator.
What worked for me is still an ongoing process. Remember, I am like anyone else. I am a real person, which is why I had to learn how to update my thinking. I had to learn to expose my personal intimidations and challenge my assumptions that would lead me to respond according to my biases.
When the mind assumes an action is on the way, the mind will assume behaviors in its defense. This can lead to a reaction or better yet, this can lead to a behavior that causes the actions we feared were coming. And then what? Then we find ourselves painted in a corner. We find ourselves in a hopeless position and say, “See? I told you so!”
A friend once asked me, “Would you mind a little advice?”
I answered, “Not at all.”
He said, “Good. Then stay out of your own head.”
He told me, “That scene you keep running in your mind is never going to end well.”
“So, don’t create it.”
It’s interesting. Most people never realize how they contribute to their own demise. Instead, we play the blame game. Or, we look at others and point to their successes. And we call them lucky. But it’s not luck.
It’s endurance. . .