The idea is to find the right connection and let this click. Find the right life, Find something. Find anything. Find whatever you can but be sure to find the things that build passion. Find something to start the fire in your belly. Find it and find it now.
Find something that feeds your desire to get up and get out of bed in the morning. Find a reason to keep your flame going. Find what you love to do. And be loyal to this. Find your dreams and make them happen. This is your job.
Look for this and let this become your fixation because if people can fail due their biases; then people can succeed for the exact same reason. If you can see your failures than you can also see your successes. So, look for it.
Own up to yourself.
Own up to who you are and allow this to be a godsend rather than a dysfunction or a character flaw.
Know what I say?
I say to hell with our attentional biases. I say to hell with the focus bias and to hell with the tendencies to focus on our worries and our perceived threats. To hell with the internal struggles like interpersonal starvation or sadness and self-doubt.
We have to be something different. Or better yet, we have to see something different. We have to touch it or taste it because otherwise, it can be difficult to believe that dreams do exist or come true.
Isn’t it obvious why people look for quick fixes?
Isn’t it obvious why quick thrills and instant gratification settle the impulse, but only for a short while. What I mean is: Everyone wants the long term answer but most times, we lack the patience to persevere or the faith that our ability can make our dreams a reality. We can lose ourselves in the ideas of whether we deserve our dreams to come true. We can easily switch into shame-based thinking.
We can lose ourselves to the analysis of the who, what, where and why. Meanwhile, the answers we need to achieve or succeed is less complicated than we think.
Think about it . . .
Everybody knows that overthinking is unhelpful.
Yet, overthinking leads us to anxiety and depression. This affects our coping skills and results in sadness, loneliness, despair and a lost feeling of total emptiness.
Everyone knows there are things we cannot change. Even when we ask for the serenity to accept the things we cannot change or the courage to change the things we can (and the wisdom to know the difference) so much in life is beyond our control. Yet, here we are pushing on the doors that say pull and fighting against the tides. All of this contributes to our own demise.
We are in the effort business and not the result business, which is obvious because results are out of our control. Right?
I can think of all the up and coming businesses and all of their projections and attempts to recreate the wheel. I can think of a few from the top of my head and these were businesses that were growing and growing fast.
However, as quickly as they grew, they fell just as fast. All of the egos and all the bosses fell from their high-horses and had to walk awhile.
There was a call yesterday morning with a case manager from a mental health facility in which we talked for at least a good 25 to 30 minutes. Most of what we talked about was us. We talked a little about the business at hand. However, the business at hand was settled with an easy agreement. The rest of the conversation was both helpful and uplifting.
I have met people in treatment facilities who somehow appear as if they will be the new heroes when they come out. There are people who show great dedication to their recovery and it’s going to be them who make it.
I can say that as a person who lived in three different facilities (two of them twice), it’s the so-called heroes and the ones who sound the best that were often the ones who fell back in their ways and went back to their default settings.
During my last time in treatment, I decided that I would stop trying to “sound good” and instead, I decided that I would start sounding like me. Otherwise, I would be on the other side of the statistic column.
There were people whom I idolized. There were people whom I swore if anyone was going to “make it” or change the world, it would be them.
There were people whom I swore that I’d rather be like and at the same time, I remember them well. I remember the look in their eyes when they fell from grace.
I remember how their eyes were half-shut from the only self-induced harm, which they believed was the only thing that could save them. I remember their chemical reactions to a deadly remedy. To them, their deadly remedy was the only thing that allowed them to feel fine that they were alive.
I have watched the celebrated fall. I have watched the glorified be welcomed and meanwhile, I have seen the humbled stay in their lane because in their hearts, they never believed they could be anything more. I have seen people endure and no matter what, they never gave in.
This is how I want to be.
It is said in the Peter Principle that people rise to the level of their incompetence. We meet our limitations or better yet, we accept them as if to sadly surrender and allow this to become our personal law. But there is no law that says this has to happen.
There is no law that says we cannot grow. There is no law that says we cannot learn. Of course, this does not mean that we can learn to be the next best singer or to do something that is not within our natural range of talent.
But more, I repeat words that I have heard more than once, which are as follows: No one can ever stop you from pursuing your dreams. No one can stop you from doing what you love to do.
I remember hearing Robert Moresco say, “You can always do what you love to do. It doesn’t mean anyone is going to pay you to do it. But nobody can stop you.”
Moresco is a screenwriter and producer but to me, I view this as a man who came from a background in Hell’s Kitchen, New York City. He had a history. He had friends who Moresco himself regards as monstrous; yet, they were his friends nonetheless. He is and was a real person and he managed. He endured and he overcame.
There are people who somehow defy the odds. There are people in this world who somehow, in spite of everything that worked against their favor, kept moving forward. There are people whom I have seen achieve great things even when they were supposed to fail; still, they managed to achieve great things regardless of the predictions they would fail. To them, I say thank you.
I don’t need the picture-perfect gods or goddesses in the world to show me the way.
I would rather see the imperfect. I would rather see the underdog who came to the top all on their own and remained humble. I would rather see the people who chose to endure and then when they finally reached their goals, they stayed loyal to their true selves.
They remembered what it was like when they had no food.
Show me the hungry. Show me the tenacious ones and let me learn from them. Show me the one who fell 500 times and took a shot at 501. Show me the meek who managed to stand taller even though they were shorter than their oppressor.
In my thoughts, I come to this stage of meditation.
Let me be me.
Let me be who I am, as I am, and unashamed by scattered comparisons that often keep people down or stuck in their limitations.
Let me find my inspirations and allow them to encourage me; but more, allow me to realize that I am not here to be like anyone else in this world.
I am here to greet myself in the morning and to say goodnight to my reflection at the end of the day.
I am here to be me. You are here to be you.
Together, we can work towards a goal or find our own way. We can navigate in any direction we choose. We can cross the street and go our own way. We can dare to improve. We can surpass our respective incompetence. Or, we can focus on the tasks at hand and keep ourselves in the effort business because as we all know, results are often beyond our control.
As I see it:
People are often lost to misinformation or the misconceptions that dreams come easily. No. None of this is easy. Fall down every day. Get up every day after.
Be able to endure. Grow from your disorders. If they break you, let this make you stronger.
Rebuild. Let your stressors serve to make you stronger.
Find your center and build from this.
If the world dents you, let your dents be your improvement. Let all of this exist to strengthen your skin.
Pain is not the enemy. Neither is fear.
These are excellent motivators. So don’t give in to them. Use them. Learn from them. Grow from them. Keep going and stay clear of the common distractions. These are the success stories we hear about; yet, we seldom listen to the entire story.
This is life. Everyone bleeds. Everyone hurts and nobody gets out alive.
Find your path and be unforgivable with this. Hold it, own it and focus on your efforts because nothing else is in our control.
Imagine the action and make it so.