I Have Found (It!) – Entry Four

It is easy.
It’s easy to lose our place. It’s easy to lose ourselves to the comparison of others. It’s easy to lose our focus.
It’s easy to notice our faults or to notice the things we lack. It’s easy to look around and see what other people have and, of course, then we look back at us and see what we don’t have. This could be a job. This could be looks. This could be money or attention or fame or personality.
It’s easy to find problems. Or, if we look around; it’s easy to see what’s wrong with life. However, as easy as this is, it only serves to make life harder. Yet, we still look.

If you ever find yourself near a construction site when a welder is onsite, they’ll tell you not to look at the light because this can hurt your eyes. And what do people do?
They look at the light!

Our mind falls into these traps and suddenly, we find ourselves becoming fixated upon our imaginary assumptions. People can tell you not to think about this, but what does this do?
Does this help? Or, does this only serve to promote our thinking?
Now, in the construct of the mind in crisis, we start to build a story. We come to our own conclusions and allow our predictions to perform in our mind. We do this until our assumptions become our truth.
We do this until our belief system is changed by thinking errors. And next, we fall to this.

We become stuck by the traps in our mind and next, we miss the opportunity to reach our best potential. We lose our chances and windows close.
And what is this?
In short, the answer is waste.

This is where we waste our time and our energy. We lose ourselves by constructing ideas or considering options that aren’t real or based on fact. Hence the anxiety because we have now created an assignment in our brain that is beyond our control. We lose ourselves to the emotional devices that keep us stuck and afraid. 

It’s easy to give up.
And yet, at the same time; it’s not so easy because we want more. And we know we want more.
There’s no way to hide this.
We know when we’re not happy. We know that there’s more to life. Yet, the idea of making that change is bigger than we can bear. The idea of making a run for it and  “trying” can be so far-fetched that we submit to an internal laziness. 

To find our motivation, perhaps we should define our motivation. Perhaps we should understand what motivation is. What inspires us? What fuels our drive?
What creates our passion?
We have to know this and at the same time, what takes this away?
We have to learn about our thinking and understand the hooks that prevent us from moving forward.

The same as we have to understand the catalyst of our encouragement; we have to understand the roots of our prevention. Where does this come from and better yet, are these ideas real?
Is there actual evidence that proves our thoughts and assumptions? Or, is this speculation? And if there is evidence, is this evidence based on fact; or is this emotionally based or driven by insecurity. 

It is easy to tell someone that they “have” to find their inspiration.
It’s easy enough to tell someone you “have” to get up.
You “have” to get moving.
Sure.
It’s easy to say this and although true and simple, we face a difficulty in the application process. 

For example, there is no secret to being happy. There’s no secret to success and there’s no secret to living healthy or losing weight (if that’s what you’re looking to do).
The science to this is simple.
However, we are not a simple species.
There are studies which report that the average adult makes more than 35,000 decisions per day. Now, in fairness and in full disclosure (and to avoid any legal hassles or copyright infringement), I am not sure who made this study nor do I know where this information came from. However, in our current world of technology – I used a search engine and simply asked “How many decisions do we make in a day?”

The answer is more than 35,000 and I wonder what this means to an anxious mind. I wonder how this affects our assumptions. Or better yet, I wonder what this means to a person in crisis, or to someone whose lost to their own thoughts, or to a person who has catastrophized every outcome in their mind and they’ve done this at least a thousand times. 

I think about the anxious mind and the soul’s need to defend itself. I think about the person we are when we are not at our best and thus, we assume.
We predict. We form biases and emotional inaccuracies.
It’s no wonder we’re stressed out.
It’s no wonder why we behave preemptively or respond and react.

Our mind has been tricked by an inaccurate belief system. Our thoughts are connected to biases and memories or experience; in which case, we are constantly connected to our relationship with our past and past mistakes. And again, I ask – what is this?
The answer is still the same: It’s waste.

We seldom note the goodness in ourselves. We take this for granted. We struggle to see the best in us and often, we are most critical of ourselves. We are the yin and the yang. We are the two sides; the antagonist and the protagonist. We are either our own best friend or our worst enemy.
And believe it or not; there is a choice here.

I go to the story of the two wolves, told to a grandson by an old Cherokee, about the battle which goes on inside of us. There are the two wolves in us. One is evil, angry, prideful and filled with fear, lies, inferiority and shame. The other wolf is good and filled with love and hope. This wolf is filled with kindness and empathy, generosity, truth and compassion.
The old Cherokee talked about the war within ourselves to which the grandson asked “Which one wins?”
The answer: The one you feed.

We have fed our doubts and insecurities throughout our life and to what avail? We have lost ourselves to comparison. We have given up and given in to fear and persuasion.
But to what avail?
Where has this led us?
How has this helped us?
What has this done for our decision making ability and, not to mention, what has this done for our inner narcissist? What has this done for our degrees of irrational selfishness?

Not everyone struggles the same way and that’s fine. Not everyone understands anxiety or depressive thinking either, which is fine too. Besides, this is not written for them anyway.
This is for us.
And I say this because this is written for the sole intention of improving. The idea is to find what it takes to navigate our lives in such a way that we’re no longer running from something.
Instead, we find ourselves heading towards something by using a plan, a goal, an idea, a dream, and a strategy which ties them all together. 

It’s easy to be distracted.
Then again, if this is true then perhaps it’s easy to focus as well.
Perhaps the answer is to focus on the wolf we feed.
So, rather than feed our fears or rather than feed our doubts and anxiety; we have to feed our desire over our distractions. And again, we all know this.
If there’s a challenge with this, the challenge is with our application skills. And for the record, it’s okay not to be okay. It’s okay to have hang ups. It’s okay if you struggle. It’s okay if you made mistakes or if you’re anxious (or you have anxiety attacks. And those are the worst).
It’s okay to have insecurities and worries.
The truth is we all have them.
Some just have an easier time feeding the other wolf. 

That’s all.

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