Prose From the Soul: It’s Time to Stand Up (and be counted)

I’ve heard this question asked before –
What can we do to save someone’s life?
I’ve heard people ask, what can we do
to get people to change their ways
or how to see things differently?

Unfortunately, the answer is nothing.
The answer is there’s nothing harder to change
than a person’s belief system.

No one can rescue anyone, unless they’re open to it
or unless they want to be rescued because, otherwise,
there’s a belief system that believes in being irredeemable.

There’s an idea that believes in hopelessness or otherwise,
there’s an idea which believes this is life
and this is (me)
This is the way life is.
As for fate, fuck it . . .
it’s in the stars, right?

“Maybe this is it.”
Maybe this is the best I can ever be,
even if its my worst;
maybe this is all I can do
or all I can be and if this is the idea
than no matter what someone says or tries to prove,
nothing can change the belief system of a mind,
which thinks this way, all . . . the . . . time.
As in all day, every day

Who knows why people think this way?
Is it a disease?
Is it a chemical imbalance?
Is it part of an inflammatory disease or
is this part of something much deeper,
such as personal duress or trauma or
maybe this is something which is historic or chronic or,
due to the natures of a habitual past;
the mind believes what it sees as true;
and since this is true, or since our past
has taught us how to navigate
toward biased assumptions of our future,
then our future has already been determined
by the deception of our perception,
which is not true to life or even true at all –
but instead, this is certainly true to us 

How do you change someone’s truth?
How do rewire the hard drive of a person’s mind
or reconnect their ideas to a new thought pattern or pathway –
or better yet, how can we teach someone to think
according to the path of least resistance?
How can we do this for someone when all they know
or all they’ve ever done is immediately go to the resistance?

This is very real to me 

This is real, same as the advice people give
and they way people tell you how you “should” feel.
This is real to me,
the same as it is real to believe in the disconnection between
“self” and the world – No one knows (unless they know)
No one gets it (unless they do)
and even if they do, nobody can feel it
at least not as innate or as me or you
or anyone else who lives this way.

This is real the same as it is real to believe in the void
or the empty nothingness or even the spiritless sense
of being out of touch
or out of reach and simply unreachable.

This is real the same as it is real to sit across from someone
who has all the talents in the world
and all the reasons one could ask for
to “live” or feel “alive” yet,
a day comes when the phone rings with news –
and just like that, they’re gone.

This is a fight. Whether this is internal or otherwise,
whether this is symptomatic or hereditary
or if this is an illness; if this is a disease,
or if this is a misassociation
with a person’s belief system, the answer in short is
nothing can change the patterns of a person’s belief system
unless they are open to it
or they can believe that this is truly a possibility.

Best thing I ever heard in my life
was after delivering a vision statement to a client.
He saw no hope and no reason.
He saw himself this way until he was able to see himself
and visualize the possibility of him overcoming himself.

He was a month or two after an overdose when he said,
“I can do this!”

I heard it in his voice. I heard how he meant it.
I heard this said with a burst of tearful confidence;
as if to be relieved; as if to weep because he never knew
he could be free and finally;
he saw the sights of his own salvation. 

This was the spark of something new for him.
But it’s not the spark that lasts,
it’s the fire that burns and the flames from within.
This is what needs to grow and burn and grow stronger each day;
otherwise, we forget to treat the heart attack “before” it happens
Not after

Help someone see their value
and then you’ve helped someone see
that they’re worth more than what they have –
if they want more (that is)

It’s a trick, I tell you
it’s a system of thinking and a development of
strategic mishaps and miscalculations;
in which case, no one ever assumes that “hey
maybe I was wrong about myself.”
Maybe I AM better than who I assumed I was.

By the way –
I’d love to say this person is still alive, because he’s not
But that doesn’t mean the seeds weren’t planted.
This doesn’t mean that we can’t stop trying
or learn new angles to attack the systems of mental illness
or depression.

To be clear:
I am nothing more than a simple traveler,
weary at times and hurting as well
I’m not here to say that I’ve been through it all
but I have been through wars of my own;
and sometimes the battles continue
and sometimes, the battlefields are quiet enough
to notice the sunrise and the beauties of dawn. 

No matter what we go through, time moves.
Rain falls. The sun comes up and goes down again
and time can either be merciful or merciless.
I get that . . .

Be you
Be humble
Be mindful that whether our thoughts are real
or if our feelings conduct the chemistry of our emotions,
which dictates the bodily response
to our ideas, fears and assumptions;
just know that there is a way out
(if you choose it)

Come to think of it,
I woke up on the floor of a bathroom in a treatment center.
This was back in the summer of 1991
I was just a kid and the noose slipped free.
But no one could have saved me.
Had it not been for this twist of fate,
as your humble narrator; I would not be here to tell this story.

It was only fate, which is why I am still here
Sometimes tortured. Sometimes confused.
Sometimes outraged and angry.
Sometimes, it’s like I said – I am alive enough to notice the dawn,
which is why since the age of 19,
I’ve have done what I can
to be sure to see the sunrise
and witness as many dawns as I can – to prove that I am still alive
and that today can be very different
If I allow it to be

Note: Today is September 17.
I received word of two deaths. Both by “accidental overdose”
That’s for the bad guys

And for me –
Today, it’s time to score one for the good guys
(are you with me?)


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