If you want it then you have to want it.
Nothing can stop this.
Nothing is allowed to get in your way and nothing, no matter what it is, no matter how big the obstacle is and no matter how thick the walls might be and no matter how high you have to climb and how hard you have to work, nothing is allowed to get between you and “it”
Whatever it is it is and whatever this may be to you; whether this is a dream or a goal or if this is a fight to stay alive and live your life, then let this be the one thing that brings color to your life. Let this be the thing that puts breath in your lungs. :et this be your realization that without this one special thing, life is not life and death is living without the life you want to have.
Let nothing stand in your way.
If you want something then you have to want it and I mean, you have to really want it. No excuses. No negotiations and no compromising.
There will be no changing your terms for some kind of substitution or something close enough.
There is nothing that can take the place of “this”or that one special thing.
When I decided to step closer to this idea that maybe one day, I could be “somebody” or that perhaps one day I would be someone who is more than my past and more than the insecure gibberish that goes on in my head; and when I decided that I have to make a change, I had to make one ultimate sacrifice.
I had to let the old versions of myself and kill the worst parts of my being.
I had to draw a line in the sand and refused to submit or surrender anything further.
When I decided to commit to this thing which I call my art and make a choice to define my own destiny, I had to realize there can be no excuses.
There can be pain. There can be doubts.
There can be thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
There can be good times and bad times.
But there can never be a reason or an excuse to quit.
There are no distractions. No one else matters. The critics do not matter. The grammar police and the educational snobs, the social snobs and their bullshit snobbery cannot mean anything to me.
If anything, all this can mean is I have to mean everything I do and I have to mean everything I say.
No excuses.
No apologies.
I cannot give up or allow myself to listen to the armchair person who sits back with their feet up, as if somehow, they are some kind of authority.
But no.
No one has any authority over me.
Not when it comes to this.
So to hell with them and to hell with anyone who judges me or accuses and points or looks to degrade me.
To hell with them
To hell with those who support me too because often enough, friends do change and lovers can become enemies.
So, rather than invest in people.
I have to invest in myself.
I have to recognize that if this is me, then this is about me and no one, no one at all; not even if the Angels from Heaven came to me and suggested I hang up my dreams and shoot for something else, and no matter who or what or why; I cannot allow myself to lose or to submit or surrender from this point.
Insults cannot matter. Criticism cannot matter.Love and hate cannot matter.
I cannot hinge myself or connect to the passion of the tides. I can no longer allow myself to let the higs or the lows influence me.
I can only focus on my effort.
Therefore, this is what has to happen.
I have to wake up like today is my last chance.
I have to swing like this fight is the only thing that can save my life.
If I am going to “do this” and if I am going to “be me” by any means, then nothing can interfere and nothing can stand in my way.
Not heartbreak.
Not depression.
Not anxiety
Not rejection.
Nothing can stop me.
And maybe this is all going nowhere.
Okay.
And perhaps I might be reading or preaching to an empty house. Maybe no one hears me. Maybe no one listens because maybe I’m just not good enough or maybe no one else cares. Maybe no one likes what I do and the literary gods and their demons do nothing for me except laugh, as if I were some ind of special-needs kid who finally learned how to use the toilet or tie my own shoes.
Either way, no one can stop me
No one can stop me from doing what I love and in the same context, this does not mean people will pay me for this or cheer along. This does not mean I will be received warmly or even cold.
This does not mean anyone is going to celebrate what I love to do
But no one can stop me.
No one can stop anyone from doing what they love.
No one can stop me but me
If you want something then it has to become a daily effort.
Nothing gets in the way, by any means, no matter what.
Nothing can stop me, unless of course, there is a death or some kind of unfortunate hospitalization or incarceration.
But even still or even if there is a death or I am jailed or housed in some kind of insane asylum and drooling on myself after medication time; still.
No one can stop me from doing what I love and chasing my passion and the dream in my heart
And sure, the fact is this might not turn out. My dreams might never come true,
Okay then.
Fine.
Everything can fall apart.
I could die trying and fail.
That’s fine.
My life might never be equal to what I’ve always dreamed. But I’d rather go at it and work at this that suffer to a sad submission and give up before I even tried
I always said one day . . .
I’m going to be a writer
One day, I realized I’ve always been a writer
Attention. Success. Fans and money…
None of them have any bearing on who I am and none of the above can influence who I want to be
This is my dream
So
This is my heart
And
This is why I still come here
For you!
The Written Addiction 