Everything Fell Where They May

So you say you want peace, is that right?
If so, then I have a question.
What does this mean?
I ask because maybe peace is not the same to me as it is to you.

What does peace look like?
What does peace feel like?

I wonder about this.
Is peace the lack of turbulence?
Does this mean that nothing goes wrong?
No one hurts and no one cries?
And I ask this for a reason because as it is, I am on my own search. I am looking to find peace too. But at the same time, I have to understand what peace means to me
Does peace mean everything is good and everything is right?

Is all well and right with the world?

Or does peace mean that despite the pitfalls and the unfortunate times, or the incidents and the accidents and regardless of the heartaches, does having peace mean that we can still find a balance?
Is this particular to mine or your system of living?
And of course, I think these are fair and valid questions.
And equally, I do not believe that I am the only one who asks these questions.
Is peace something that comes to us over time, like maturity?
Or wait . . .
Is peace only momentary or temporary.

I ask this because eventually, we learn and we realize.
We hit our head enough times that we realize it is far better to duck or go a different way.
Peace . . .
As in, nothing can throw us off and no one can distract us from the understanding that yes, there is a greater good.
I like the idea of a greater good

Life is always happening. And no one talks about the obvious. No one calls out the truths or openly talks about their feelings when someone hits below the belt.
No one talks about their fears of vulnerability.
Almost everyone wears a mask or has some kind of guard or shield up to protect them from outside harm.
Ah, but peace is often disturbed internally.
I say this because I can think myself into chaotic thinking far easier than I can when it comes to peaceful thinking.
Hence, this is why I want to find peace.
This is what I work for.

 No one talks about the fact that life is hurtful and that above all, broken hearts are often part of the game.

I wonder how often we would have dared if we knew the outcomes or if hindsight were to play a role and still, despite the warning signs and the red flags, I wonder why we turn a blind eye to the obvious facts.

We know ourselves far better than we claim to. We know why we go or stay and we know why we seek attention or why we need someone or something.

At the birth of aftermath comes the rebuilding moments and after the dust settles and the destruction or the wake of our past is obvious; all there is left to do is to stand up and go at it again.

I know….

I remember when I read the quote from Socrates and how he said, “the mind is your dilemma,” and I agree.

The mind is our greatest obstacle. 

Overcome this and perhaps this is what peace feels like.

The world is changing and yes, so am I.
My heart and my dreams have evolved and too many of my prayers did not come with the answers I had hoped for.

But ah, the summer is about to close.
The autumn months are beautiful,  here in New York.
Soon, the snow will come and soon, the winter will take place and before we know it, Springtime will be here again.

I go back to Jim Carroll’s poem –

“Little kids shoot marbles
where branches break the sun
into graceful shafts of light . . .
. . .  I just want to be pure.”

Thank you, Jim.
No one else could have said it better
except for her, of course . . .
she always has a way of saying things
to make me understand

Peace . . .
Not even heartbreak or death or anything in-between can stop peace.
or, wait –
is this just me
being crazy
(again)