The sky was beautiful yesterday.
I’m not sure if you saw this or not
Maybe you did.
Or did you?
The clouds were like strips of long feathers. I swear. . .
The clouds were like strands of long peacock feathers all long and stretched and perfectly white.
I had to notice this.
Sometimes the world lets you know that things are tough but still the sky is here and so is the sun, so are the clouds, and so are the birds who hover in the sky.
I never had the chance to go to college. Well, not really.
I never had a campus experience, nor did I have a chance to make the memories or experience the comradery that comes when you make new friends and set the stage for a new phase in my young adult life.
At the same time, I am fortunate.
Wait. No.
I am blessed.
I am beyond lucky.
I had the chance to speak with kids and talk with them in their classrooms.
I had the chance to speak with them about their life and their choices and who they want to be.
I am lucky . . .
Wait. No.
I am favored.
I am fortunate to say the least because despite my past; I somehow find myself leading up to the chapter, which is here, and where I am now.
I am blessed and golden like a child who was once infected and cured and blinded by toxins and somehow, I find myself here in the middle of this world, seeing how life moves in circles.
I am sill breathing, standing, walking on my own two feet.
I am not young.
I am not as strong as I want to be.
But I am not so weak either.
Yesterday afternoon shines a light on my soul.
I swear.
This reminded me of who I want to be.
And one day; I swear i will be in the cented of my vision.
Me: the builder, the dreamer and the creator.
I saw the beauty of a college campus.
I was invited to a event to see kids who gathered and shared their chapters as sororal and fraternal brothers and sisters.|
Beautiful
All of them.
I saw all walks of life.
I saw all types of kids.
I saw people from different backgrounds.
I saw smart kids and gifted kids and kids who have challenges, and yet nothing I saw was able to take away their smiles.
I loved this.
They had carnival games.
I love these things
They had the big maillot.
Do you know what I mean?
They had the game in which you swing the mallet down and you have to swing down hard too.
Really hard. Like “Whamo!”
This hits a brass piece high up on a long shaft, —and if you hit the target hard enough, the brass piece slides up high enough to ring a bell.
“DING!
And that’s how you win.
I had the chance to help someone ring that bell . . .
I helped a few kids.
I gave a few pointers on how to hold the big mallet.
I explained how to lift the hammer over your shoulder and where to grab the handle.
And then. . .
I explained how to pivot and shift the weight
And then. . .
Slam!
Ding!
and the bell goes off.
Yes. I did this first to show them how easy it is
People smiled.
Kids . . .
They smiled.
They laughed.
And one kid . . .
One kid whom I coached; that kid smiled too because they swung the mallet down, nice and hard, and boom!
“DING”
They were a winner
The brass piece ran up the shaft and rang the bell rang.
Do you have any idea how amazing it was?
Do you know how incredible it was to see the face of a kid when they managed to achieve something they assumed was unachievable?
I never believed in a million years that I would regret not paying attention in school.
Never!
And more; I never thought I wished I became a teacher.
But I do
I miss working in schools and seeing kids decide to change their life.
I miss it more than almost anything else
almost . . .
It is what it is, right?
My life took a turn and I made my choices and yes, I had to switch my gameplan for a while.
But rest assured . . .
One day, I will get back to where my fate wants me to be.
One day, I will get back to my purpose.
I will get back to the root of my dreams and one day, I will pay back the kindness that was shown to me.
Dear Father Mike,
I met the son of a man who was in your firehouse yesterday.
I thought about you. I am not so different from when you knew me.
I am older. I have calmed down
At least some . . .
I am better
(at least some)
I wish you were around.
And you are
just . . .
not in the flesh
which means hearing your responses are somewhat of a challenge.
I have to say this –
The best trick the Devil ever pulled on me was teaching me about doubt and leaving me to doubt that I could ever be anything or anyone or that I could actually be “someone,” someday
The Devil doesn’t even need my soul and I?
Like anyone who fears rejection; I wondered why the devil didn’t want me and asked what was wrong me?
Is there something wrong with my soul too?
Doubt . . .
This is the devil’s game.
This is his trick
And to be honest, it doesn’t matter who doubts me.
It doesn’t matter who believes in me
it only matters if I doubt myself and whether I believe in me
—or not.
Well, Father Mike
You know doubt and I go back lifetime together
We go back like car seats is how the saying goes.
Pray for me old friend.
Now and at the hour of my death
Amen ~
