Category Archives: Uncategorized

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Letters from a Son

Yesterday was a special day . . .

I’m not sure what yesterday would have been like if you were still around. I wonder what time you would have come by and how the tables and barbecue would have been set up and ready. I suppose you would probably be wearing the retired man’s outfit or something comfortable and golf-like, white shoes, a pair of casual shorts, and a Florida-like design on a collared polo shirt with maybe a gold watch around your wrist and a white baseball hat on your head.

I like to think about where Continue reading →

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About Treatment Time

In the last moments of my time at a place in Kerhonkson, New York, my bags were packed and the paperwork concerning my treatment over the last 28 days was in hand. imagesB9YILB6NMy room was empty but yet filled with the energy of memory and the recollection of late night conversations with the revolving roommates that completed their stay in treatment.
My bed was made, my drawers were cleaned, and in moments, I was about to complete my discharge and return home. At this time, the other clients or residents were Continue reading →

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An Honest Account Of My Weight loss

Throughout the years and throughout the various changes we go through, I have learned the best people to be surrounded by are real people with real understanding. Furthermore and above all, I have learned the worst people to be around are those who look to judge, direct, or diagnose.
I was a grown man and well on my way through life with experience under my belt. I worked hard and I worked a lot. I maintained my home Continue reading →

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What’s Your R.A.S.O.?

Before going forward with this explanation, I want to explain that the following is about me and the details of my thoughts and feelings and how they have interacted with my behavior throughout my life.
More than anything, I have always wanted to feel comfortable. I always wanted to feel the idea that if I fit or belonged and I have feel that idea that I was welcome. More than anything, I have always wanted to walk into a room and not feel as if I had to “Fake” something or “Force” something and Continue reading →

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Injections (Revisited)

There I was, (figuratively speaking of course) and lost in an empty field with tall grass, bending, and swaying in the wind.
I was someplace else. I was in a long incredible dream, which I could somehow feel in my body. I felt myself drifting like a warm breeze, halfway in a nod, and slipping gently into this great new spiral I found near 134th street.

I was unaware and unconcerned with where I was or what I looked like. I wasn’t thinking about the Continue reading →

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About a Lesson

When you’re down at the bottom of your self-made hole and it feels like you’re flat on your back with no one around to help you up; there’s no place to turn and nowhere to run anymore because all of your old options either stopped working or the old remedies just keep you from feeling sick instead of feeling better —and when you are at the back-end of the outcomes and stuck in the wake of your aftermath and you find yourself wondering, “What the hell can I do now?” the only thing you can do is surrender to fact and accept your position. This doesn’t mean you’ve quit or that you give in. On the contrary, no, this just means you know who and where you are.

Way back when Mom was younger and Continue reading →

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Autumn Leaf

In time, the autumn leaf will crumble to earth and create a new tomorrow, which may take centuries, and all that surrounds us will change into different versions of life.
In time, the landscapes will change piers
(and so will you)
In some ways, we are like an old piece of driftwood that floated across the ocean and washed upon shore.

The stories from our crazy days will fade and wash up someplace
(just like the driftwood)
Maybe we’ll Continue reading →

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From The Classroom: The cutting problem

Before I go on and explain or expose this to you, I want to first explain that this is what happened to me in my life. The thoughts and feelings I express are mine. I cannot say this is the same for everyone else or if others felt this same way, but I can say that throughout my years of recovery and while speaking with others who have been through similar struggles or acted out with similar behaviors, in several conversations, much of what I express was commonly relatable and understood. Therefore, I expose my history of cutting for others who Continue reading →

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From In The Classroom: Visions of Self

A few weeks back, I stood in front of a classroom and discussed the three different versions of self. I talked about the version we see, the version we want others to see, and the true versions of who we are. To put it simply, we are the perception of three different people. We are who we think we are. We are who we want to be. And we are who people see us as.
My experience has Continue reading →

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Fun with Fiction: Sessions From the Balcony

The Phone Call:

The phone rang at approximately 5:13am when her eyes opened and noticed the time on her alarm clock. First light had yet to show itself and the bedroom was dimly lit by a small soft white light that came from the hallway bathroom. Understanding the phone call was real and not a dream, she reached to stop the Continue reading →