New Year’s Day:

At a time when I needed something most, I found an old bag of mine in a closet that I had forgotten about. And inside that bag was a white scarf that belonged to The Old Man.
It smelled like him…
I have not smelled anything like that in years, but at a time when Continue reading →

23 years ago today, I said goodbye to The Old Man for the last time….
After sitting by his bedside, my mother left the hospital for the first time in weeks. Once they hooked Continue reading →

There is too much flash in this new century. There is too much advancement in technology; too many apps, too many cellphones, and too many empty playgrounds.
There are too many ways to communicate, yet our communication with each other seems to be dwindling and left in the less personal hands of text messaging.

A young girl with a piercing in her lip looked Continue reading →

I sat in the back of a Greyhound Bus with hours of travel ahead of me and nothing else but time to consider my young life. I was trying to reconnect the good times and separate them from the bad.
In the fifth month of my early sobriety, I was heading home to say farewell to The Old Man.  By this time, the fog in my head was beginning to lift. I was less angry and more aware. I was learning about Continue reading →

I had another one of those dreams again. Everything seemed so real and so vivid….
After a violent act, I felt as though someone pulled the plug and I was funneling down a horrible drain.
There was no turning back or ways to apologize for what I did.
It was too late for that.
The damage was done and the blood on my hands became very real. Suddenly, the games I played were Continue reading →

America,
I do not blame you for the anger.
I blame me.
I blame the society I live in
I blame the silently growing machine—
the one that comes from both sides, creates controversy,
boils, and overflows into the streets

I blame the aftermath of our ignorance. I blame the uneducated
and the Continue reading →

The Old Man warmed the truck early. He told me, “Dress warm, kid,” and then he ran outside to start his Ford Bronco.
As he turned the key in the ignition, the quiet morning shook with the deep rumbling sound of a truck’s engine.

It was wintertime and Merrick Avenue was quiet. The sun began Continue reading →

The hardest place to start is at the bottom.
The hardest step is the first and the hardest room to sit in is an empty one that was once full. I associate my feelings at this point with the realization of how far I fell and combined this with all that I lost.

I was on my own and there was no one around but me. There were no decorations on the wall, pictures of smiling faces, or family photos. There was nothing but the echoes of a vacant two-bedroom apartment. I went from a half acre, Continue reading →

Yesterday was one of those quiet days…..
It was the kind to watch the snowfall from my living room window. It was a good day to stay at home, eat food, and watch movies.
After the sun went down, the Christmas lights brightened our street and the grounds were covered in a blanket of white.
I saw this as peaceful.

I watched the snowfall into the late hours of night and found myself Continue reading →

Before I go on, the term loyalty is often relative. The honor amongst thieves is seldom as strong as the bars that cage them. And furthermore, a man’s word is only a man’s word.
A man’s word is the same as his checking account at the bank. So long as the funds are valid; his check is good. But let him overdraw and the check bounces.

I sat with my back against the wall and my left wrist was cuffed to Continue reading →