I heard someone say, “I think I want a new life.”
I’ve heard other people tell me that they want a new story.
I get it.
There was a song back in the 80’s called, “I want a new drug.”
I get that too,
Perhaps I date my childhood by saying this, but Huey Lewis and The News was on to something with that song.
I want a new story. Of course, I do.
I want a new chapter and a new beginning, but then again, this is common when things turn out unexpectedly.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, they say.
I heard a fellow alcoholic say get some vodka and make a drink.
But that’s not my style anymore, and nor has it been since April 1, 1991
But who’s counting?.
I want a new start that comes with a promise and one that extends beyond the ideas of happily ever after.
I am a dreamer, which some might call me too sensitive or say that I am too sentimental.
I cannot say whether I agree with this or not.
I can say I am often mental.
As for sentimental?
Yes, I think that sentiment is a key factor in an emotionally stable life.
I want a new chance. Not a do-over.
I want a shot at the life I missed because in fairness, I was too afraid or too weak to take the risk.
I have done this before and like the suggestions about the definitions of insanity; I have done the same thing, over and over again and yes; I hoped for different results.
I want to use what I’ve learned. I want to take my toys with me so that if I become cursed to re-live my mistakes in some kind of consecutive existence, then I want to rewire my thinking so that I can see new and brighter things in my old horror stories.
I want to see the other side and view life from a new perspective.
I want this to be achieved without bias or without the suspicion that something can and will go wrong.
I want to be in the company of a love who owns my last first kiss.
Ah, my first last kiss. . .
What a beautiful idea.
This is something I want more now than ever before. I want this because this is more than average. This is more than a dream and this is more than fate because if I pull this off, and if I score my trick; then I would call this magic a new brand of “lifesaving.”
Understand?
I want a new home. I want a new car. I want a new existence and a new past that does not haunt me whenever I look back upon my yesterdays.
I want to hold myself accountable and adapt to a new discipline. I realize that living well today makes every yesterday a better memory.
Or as Kalidasa said, I want to “look well upon this day,” because this is life!
My life.
I had a talk with the spirits last night.
I asked them to bless me.
I asked the sea to be kind as I go and venture outwards
My hope
My love
My heart
is all here
This is not fiction
This is just me
(being honest)
The Written Addiction 