Being Honest With Fiction

Today is not about being honest with fiction.
No, I would rather rant and rave than be indirect.
And so, I will go forward and start with this –
To hell with what I see.
To hell with today’s modern technology.
To hell with people texting and not watching what’s ahead of them.

To hell with them after walking in to me.
And to hell with they way this happened to me this morning and to hell with the way the young man looked at me after nearly crashing against me, face first.

I offered a recommendation to the young man this morning. I offered the idea that he pick his head up and watch where it was going.
He suggested that I should have moved out of his way.
And be advised, this happened before the day started, and no, I did not have my coffee yet.
I noticed my offer to discuss these options further were not accepted, nor was the young man as willing to discuss his response when the he realized that I was not afraid of him.

To hell with him.
To hell with the daily grind.
To hell with the rumor factories and the gossip mills and to hell with the cliques and the two-faced co-workers who have a special place in Hell just waiting for them.
To hell with the meetings about meetings and emails about meetings, which took place because of an email that was sent about a meeting that was scheduled but never took place
And yes, I understand this sounds like my work life moves circles.
But this has become the corporate world. No one moves. No one acts.
No one pulls the trigger.
Everyone responds according to committee and in the end, nothing gets down and important matters shoved in a pile that becomes ignored.

To hell with the carrots that people dangle in front of us to make us work harder. And to hell with the lies and the fake incentives. To hell with the fake number crunches and to hell with the lies that make departments “look” like they’re doing their job.
In the end, everyone knows the truth.

To hell with the social snobs and the corporate bullies.
I refuse to back down and I will not back down.
Never
Not now.
Not ever.

To hell with retaliation and the adverse employment actions, which, by the way; attorneys love these kind of things and hence, this is why it pays to learn your rights.
This is why it pays to know how to navigate your way through the hurdles we encounter with the H.R. departments who drop the ball and do nothing with our complaints.
We are told that H.R. stands for Human Resources and I have also been told that seldom is anyone in this department humans and rarely is anyone resourceful. 
I agree.

To hell with this.
To hell with all the hours we put at work and to all the good times we missed.
To hell with the push/pull, back and forth mentalities, and to hell with one step forward and two steps back.

To hell with the rude, for they can kick rocks and be somewhere else, for all I care.

I am thankful, however, and I am grateful for the good as well as the bad because as far as I can tell; the dark things accentuate the light, which shines brighter than the bullshit around me.
Or at least, so I hope.

Thank God for my friends, although limited and few.
Thank God for the people in my corner.
Thank God for my ability to adapt and to make my way because otherwise, it would be easy to drown in the corporate sludge and become like the sad and tired mopes whom I see at their dead-end jobs on a daily basis.

Thank God for the consistent and the strong, for they teach me that no one can kill me forever.
Thank God for the underdog and the secrets they’ve shared about how to endure and survive.
Thank God for the gym, which is where I purge myself and allow my aggression to scream and grunt.
Thank God for my lunchbreak, which separates the day and reminds me that the day will be over soon enough.

Thank God for my inspiration.
Thank God for my motivation.
Thank God for coffee and my special, handy-dandy coffee machine, which is right next to my desk.
And trust me, the coffee machine keeps people alive in more ways than one.
Thank God for my Sunday routine and my ability to cook a few meals to eat throughout the week.

Thank God my retirement is closer and further away and thankfully, one day, I will be elsewhere and living in places where I never have to wear long pants or shoes.
Thank God for my love, which I have, which is her, which is you, and thank God that regardless of my lonesome moments, I somehow believe and still pursue a life where I am where I want to be.

I went to the gym yesterday and sat at a machine, watching a girl pose for selfie pictures and send them out to different people.
I shook my head.
I returned to my biceps exercises and then I worked on my back muscles.

I do love the world.
I do love the beautiful things.
I just want a new life with a new pace and I want to find myself in a new part of the world and be where people say simple, and commonplace things like, “hello,” and “good morning,” for no other reason than to be friendly.

But for now . . .
I have three meetings to prepare for.
I have too many things that need my attention.
I have too many tasks and not enough time or manpower to address them.
But like I said before. No one can kill me forever
And no boss can kill me in eight hours.
I know this
And so does my union delegate.

I gulp the last of my coffee.
And now
It’s time to go.