I wonder about something all the time.
What makes us so different?
Is there such a thing as the magic or lucky gene pool?
Is this something that alters the pattern of our lives and shapes our existence because of who brought us into the world? Maybe the so-called lucky gene pool only applies and helps the so-called fortunate who were born under a favorable sign.
Then maybe this is not so much a case of favorable genetics and more because of a sizable bank account or good looks or physical ability –

Don’t limit your challenges. Challenge your limits.
I love this idea.
Who knows how many times I’ve heard this quote or other sayings that are like this?
But sometimes the mind comes alive and, at last, we hear what we’ve been deaf to or see what we were blind to.
I used to wonder when my real life was going to begin. Then I wondered when I was going to give myself the permission to let this happen.
I had to push myself and allow my real life to start.

Before I step forward, I need to express my gratitude. I also need to express that this project, or this journal of mine, has been inspired by the drive and the need to live.
This is all about three very big and special words: Go, Be and Do.
Also, this is written with regard and respect for those who have either dared to create or those who have inspired me because, to me, this is the light and this is the way.
I want to start of with something I saw not too long ago.
I remember how this opened my eyes –
Be brave enough to suck at something new
What a great idea.

I would like to be very clear about this.
And I’m not sure that I am alone with this thought. But anyway, here it goes.

I have never been the person who wakes up early to goes to the gym. I wake up early for other reasons. I’m up before the crack of dawn for work and for my personal time, which is now.
My day starts between 3:00 and 4:00am. However, my morning routine has never been one that involves the gym. To be honest, I have never enjoyed the gym nor does my social anxiety allow me to be comfortable with working out in front of other people.
Of course, it has been said that this is a predicament that’s been worked up in my head. It’s been said that “No one is even paying attention to you!” and again, “This is all in your head” which is true because this is where all problems are born – in our head.

What’s the sense of having a purpose if we don’t make it purposeful?
You know?
I have told you about that game, Never Have I Ever . . .
I’ve told you about this list I’ve been working on and how the list of “Nevers” is longer than I want it to be.
I want to shorten the “never have I ever” list and lengthen the list of things I’ve done or the places I’ve seen.
I want to add to the people I’ve met and, of course, I want to lengthen the list of things I’ve done.
But still, there’s more to this list. There’s more to all of us, I suppose.
There’s absolutely more to me than meets the eye. 

And ah, there’s music.
And then, there’s the dance we do.
So, if you wouldn’t mind –
Dance with me please. But before you do, just know what this means before you say yes.

There’s a way to slow dance and hold someone close, at least I think there is.
I do this as if the lights shut off around the world and if I you close your eyes and pull this person in nice and close, you can place your lips at the side of their neck and smell the essence of their skin.
Well, at least this is from my perspective.
As for you – perhaps the neck would be yours.

I love this.
I love the idea of nice, long, slow dances in places like at an outdoor festival of a small, unknown town where everyone stops to say hello and the town feast is made of events, such as pie eating contests and bake sales that come with foods that are better eaten, right there on the spot, because everything is so good.

I will say that this entry comes with a basic, forewarning that while not everything in my life has been a scene of beauty, I can say that there is beauty. Even in my ugliness.
I mentioned the show RENT to you –
This was a play that became a movie which is significant to me because the reason for my focus on this is because there was a man who lived his entire life and died before seeing his opening day.
Could you imagine?

I will kindly ask you to forgive the sappiness of this entry. But yes, what I am about to offer is true and fit for this journal. While my aim is to be truthful, I understand that the purity of beauty and the honesty of wholesomeness (for some reason) can sting, like an old antiseptic to a cut or a scrape on the knee – sort of like what happened when we were sent to the nurse back when we were kids.

So far, there has been a common theme with my thoughts, such as “Do not go gentle,” as in, do not give in, or do not quit, don’t submit or give away your ground.
I find this theme to be simple, yet I understand the complications of the ideas which surround the times when I give up most or had the least amount of hope.
Do not go gentle. . .
That’s me, right now.