I have this idea sometimes. Or maybe this is a vision. Maybe this is just the need to close my eyes and see something different.
Maybe I need this because there is enough craziness in the world. There is enough ugliness and hate. We don’t need more. We don’t need more reasons to argue. We don’t need more reasons to complain. We already have plenty
I was told to let today be sufficient for itself. Tomorrow will come with its own list of things to do, places to go and things to see. Today is only here once. So, make it count.
And I get that.
Here’s Some Truth For Ya
I admit it. I’m a big baby. I admit that I am afraid of needles. I admit that I am afraid of the dark. I admit that I have both rational and irrational fears. I admit that my fears have distracted me at times and that my anticipation of a situation is often worse than the situation itself.
I admit that I have given way to procrastination. I admit that I have submitted, forfeited, sabotaged, self-destructed and self-medicated to placate the symptoms of a problem that was buried beneath my behavior.
Finding The Drive
Somewhere in there is the dream machine. Somewhere in there is the child within. Deep within us all is a drive to be, think, feel, taste, touch and smell. There is a need to cross the finish line. There is the hunger to be the one lifted on the shoulders of our teammates and carried off the field in the thrill of victory.
Perhaps this vision might look differently to you or someone else. Yet still, there is this dream to reach a level of greatness; to not only be valid or validated but to be honored and wanted. There is a need for the sense of connectedness that goes beyond just being included. And yet, adversely, there is often a worry that none of this will ever come true. There is often the inaccurate anticipation that somehow or in some way, as hard as we try, we just can’t reach the mark.
Continue readingA Little From The Abstract: 2/5/21
There is too much going on at once right now. I can see that I am not alone on this one.
In the last year, we have seen more losses than ever before.
I hear people talking about our “new normal,” but is this it?
Memory Lane and My Reasons Why
It would be dishonest of me to say that there wasn’t the idea of us against them. It would be dishonest to say that some of this wasn’t fun. The rebellion I mean. This is one of the reasons why it was us against them. I wanted to rebel. I wanted to fight back. More than anything I wanted to be heard but I never had the voice to properly speak my thoughts. I never had the words or the language to explain what I was thinking or feeling. Instead, I acted.
This is why it was us against the world. It was us against the authorities and the people in the town. It was us against our parents, the teachers, the principals, the guidance counselors, the cops, the local government and anyone else in the world that did not see things the way we did. I pluralize this because there was more than just me.
Continue readingThis Is My Plea
And suddenly, there is the idea of jumping to just get away. There is the idea that everything around us has become unbearably heavy. Too heavy in fact, and there is no end in sight, no relief ahead and nothing promising in the horizon. There is the heavy weight of nothingness, which no one else can see but yet, only you and I can feel it.
Continue readingThe Tasks Ahead
No one ever said the right thing would be easy. No one ever told me that it would be easy to deny the body or to deny my thoughts. No one ever told me this.
There are times when we want to quit. There are times when we feel pain. We feel anguish. Our anxiety hits the all-time high. There are times when we experience conflict. There are moments when there is work to do but our body does not feel up to the task; and therefore, our mind does not feel up to the task. There are times when we lack the push and the shove or the drive we need to get us through the day.
This Is Insomnia
It is a little after 3:00 in the morning . . .
I yawn while laying on the couch because the bed frustrates me when I can’t sleep.
Ever get this way?
I find myself traversing between sleep and dreams and then waking up, wondering and thinking too much of course about insignificant things. And then I’m awake (like now, for example) with my mind in a million places at once.
The Benefits of Synergy: Trying To Avoid Another Worldwide Problem
In spite of everything that goes on around us, life still happens. Regardless of what’s on the evening news and whether or not it rains or pours or the sun comes along to dry up all the rain, life is still life. Time is still time and nothing we can do will change this.
Make no mistake about this; the clock is always on. Time is inevitable and eventual. And it’s enough to hurt and bewilder; it’s enough to shock the heart and soul, straight down to the very core of our being.
The Cosmic Concept of Relationships
There are things in life that I never had. Some of which are simple things like a brand new 10-speed bicycle. Some of which are the basic rites of passage. For example, I never played a sport on a school team. Some of what I never had are the understandings that come later in life. This comes when maturity sets in. And I’m not sure if I’m mature yet. I’m not sure what I want to be when I grow up. Then again, I’m not sure if I’ll grow up or if I want to. At this point, I am near the age of understanding that who I am is exactly who I am supposed to be.
I understand now that everything has its place. Perspective is everything. Hence, there is a purpose for everything. Hence, there are reasons why and reasons why not. And perhaps this is too broad. Or, perhaps this is a bit too vague. But to me, this is as clear as the sunrise that is taking place on the other side of my window right now.
The Written Addiction 