And then there was silence.
No words. No noise, nothing to say.
Just silence.
From The Book Of Firsts: The Retreat Out East
He was a happy man, somewhat round and somewhat short, with a round face and shaggy, salt and pepper hair that fell across his head in the shape of a bowl-cut hairstyle. This was the kind of hairstyle one would expect to see on a Franciscan Monk, or a priest, or whichever the proper term may be. His voice was friendly and happy.
I suppose no one would ever know by looking at him. I know that I had no Idea. Why would I, right? After all, the guy was a priest. What would he know about addiction or alcoholism or anything in between?
They Were Right. It Is A Small World After All.
One of my most influential memories is equally one of my most painful. However, the lesson I learned is unforgettable. More accurately, the one thing I learned is that we tend to hold onto things.
We carry the imaginary weight of our assumptions that lead us to conclusions. We argue and we fight when meanwhile, there is an entire world out there, just passing us by and then one day, we snap out of it.
We wake up. We turn around and wonder what happened or where the time went.
Unfortunately, regret is only in the aftermath and by the time we wake up, it is too late; we have allowed the trivial moments to take priority of times that really matter.
So . . . I Heard You’re A Writer.
Everyone has their own life’s story. And sometimes I am approached with a frequent idea that begins with something like, “So I heard you’re a writer.”
I am often told about life from someone else’s perspective, which I appreciate. More often, however, I hear the most popular idea which is, “If I wrote a book about my life, I guarantee you it would be a best seller!”
There would be a lot of best sellers out there if this were so, but nevertheless, this is when I refer to my stock response, which is, “So then write it.” This changes the energy of the conversation almost instantly.
In The Classroom: One Of My First Presentations
I was walking down a long hallway after turning passed the corner near the principal’s office. I was making my way to a classroom with a few teachers and some counselors that helped me navigate through the halls.
They were taking me to to a class where a roomful of seniors were waiting to hear what I had to say. This was part of a police initiative that was created with the intention to teach students what drugs do. This was to keep the student’s clear of the drug life.
I have to admit it. I was scared. I was afraid of what they would think of me and how I would sound. I was afraid I would be a flop.
Then it would be exactly the way it was when I was in school, uncomfortable and awkward, with me being the brunt of someone’s joke.
Keep Moving
We have to come to an understanding between us. Life will only be what life can only be. Nothing will ever be more, which I say with an emphasis on the word more because we will always want, we will always need, and although there will be moments when we are satisfied, truth be told, there will be times when we did not get our way.
Continue readingNote to Self
There are places I have seen that I never believed I would see. There are beaches I have walked along and sunrises as well as sunsets that I have witnessed. Take for example, one of my last trips to the west coast, Imperial Beach in San Diego, California.
I was up at the sunrise each day and there to watch the sun go down.
I never thought I would be here, but yet, I was there.
I never thought I would have the opportunities that came my way, but yet, I did have them, regardless to what my thoughts were.
Memory Lane
I remember back to when I wore those great old clothes. The nightlife was something special to me. This was me, back in the day, trying to sport my outfits like I was something out of a movie.
I was searching for something and weaving through the enigmatic version I had of the city and the scene of downtown, cobblestone streets, and the Merc Bar, which is where I found myself a few times, late at night, wet streets after a summer’s rain, and there was me, looking to find something a bit more than just the average occasion.
I remember a night when I was walking down Broome Street because I decided to step away from the crowds.
I looked up at the buildings and wondered what it would be like if I lived up in one of the lofts. What would I be then? Or maybe the thought was what I could have been.
Do you want to know why?
It’s not just the stigma. There is a reason why people don’t come forward and talk about their life. There’s a reason why people suffer in silence and struggle on their own, never daring to tell anyone else what they think or feel, because God forbid someone else knew. And it’s not just the social stigma. The problems run deeper than the marks of shame.
Continue readingWhat To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do
The topic in yesterday’s empowerment class was to talk about positive ways to make ourselves feel better.
The idea is to talk openly about this. Also, the idea is to talk about this honestly because the truth is everyone knows the right thing to do. Everyone knows the “Best foot forward,” answer and everyone knows what they should do, which is great however, life does not always play fairly. Life comes with unexpected twists and turns. Life has unexpected problems and fake friends. People are less than honest. Disappointment happens all the time. Life can be heartbreaking sometimes and downright cruel as well.
The Written Addiction 