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Crossroad

There is a fine line between us and the edge.
Sometimes we feel as if we are teetering over it . . . the edge, I mean.
I know this because I have visited this edge several times myself.

I recall standing at the driver’s side door of my car while parked in front of a momentary place I called home. I remember the stillness of my town during a quiet Sunday morning. I could hear the sound of Church bells nearby and felt an overwhelming sense of awareness as I awoke in the aftermath of my behavior.
I stood between myself and change. I was at a crossroad and Continue reading →

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A Note to The Old MAn

I arrived on a greyhound at the bus station in Hempstead before midnight. There was snow on the ground—perhaps this was the last time I had ever seen so much snow on a Christmas Eve.
My trip was as long as it was as numbing. I sat in a window seat near the back of the bus and stared out at the changes of landscape. I watched the snow fall from a light-gray sky, which turned darker as night progressed. I thought about my destination and the future that was about to unfold.

I was 17 years-old at the time and you were 62 at the time of your exit.

The bus was late—so when I arrived at the station, I made my Continue reading →

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Pointing My Finger

The outcome became clear to me when I heard the sound of a heavy steel door close behind me and lock into position. I heard the sound of drunken inmates as they howled in their small holding cells. Further down the line, I heard the crying sobs of a young man whose only temporary comfort was his separation from the other criminals in the Town of Hempstead’s Holding Facility.

It was as clear Continue reading →

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A moment of awareness

It was only a few days before Christmas . . .
After a long drive from the farm and visiting The Old Man in the hospital, I went back to my two-story cape, suburban home. All of the rooms were the same, except for mine. The couches in the living room were no different from how they were before I left and went away for treatment.
The kitchen was the same and so were the dining room, bathroom, and the television room. I walked into the house where I grew up after only being away for four months, and though I knew this house well, and though I knew its every crevice, every hiding space, and every sound the floors would Continue reading →

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Just for fun

The 2:00AM dialogue:

The lights were somewhat low, but almost golden, and flickering above the sawdust floor in a downtown bar. We sat at an old wide-planked table, which was round, with a plastic tray of peanuts that were spilled on a single sheet of paper towels. The emptied shells were scattered at the feet of our barstools. The deep mahogany walls matched the country-western theme and the crowd had begun to thin..
The music was somewhat loud and it was not my Continue reading →

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Where It All Began

After the courts had their way and the outcome was final, I returned to The Farm to carry out my sentence. I was remanded to the completion of treatment in a long-term rehabilitation facility. I was to stay clean and comply with the terms of my probation for three years.

I took a program instead of time. Rather than serve behind bars; I admitted myself into a string of rehabilitation facilities. The first was a 28-day spot in the town of Kerhonkson, New York. I was the youngest patient in the house, which was not an easy.
Fresh from my 17th birthday, my skin was still too Continue reading →

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success

Success is never an accident . . .
In exchange for its title, it delivers its share of failure and mistakes. It comes with bruises and battle scars—it comes with fears and concerns and it often comes with casualties, as well as losses. These are called lessons . . .

Success is a decision. It is alive, like you and me. It lives and it Continue reading →