Safe to say
that I know a little bit
about my desires.
and, yes,
it is also safe to say
that no one can match me
when it comes to the way I think
or feel
or in short,
no one can match me
when it comes to the way I desire you.
No one.
No one can match the way shadows
appear in your sunlight
nor could anyone see or notice you,
like the way I see
or notice you.
No matter what,
I don’t care what is said after this
but this has to be said
and yes
this has to be said
by me
and yes this has to be said by me,
now.
1)
I come with no excuses
and to be clear,
explanations
are not the same as excuses.
And so,
if there ever was a goal
I wonder what it was
or what happened
or when we decided
to abandon them
like something lost
along the way . . .
Or wait
maybe this is like the way time
puts distance between us.
I wonder when it was
that I stopped wondering
about the dreams
that went deferred.
1)
What would I say
if I could say anything at all
that is, and so, I wonder what could I say
that would make a difference?
Or at minimum
what would I tell you
if I could tell you something
that would wipe away
the sorry yesterdays
or clear the cobwebs of our cowardly secrets?
I have said and told you
if I could then I would.
But like my childhood saying goes
If I could, I would
but I can’t so,
I won’t.
I suppose if you asked me
or if you wanted to know about
what I love most,
then I would have to say
it’s the way you twirl.
No seriously. . .
It’s the way you manage to dance
(somehow)
when you walk or gaze at the sea
and you do this so purely
and beautifully,
even while the rest of the world turns
I watch you to see you
deep in thought.
God,
How does the do this?
I love how you smile,
or how you manage to maintain your posture
even while the world around you
is heavy
or weighing you down.
The key is
to listen when the music plays,
and dance when you in the rain
and sing when the song cries.
Never stop this –
not even if the band stops playing.
Just keep dancing.
Never give up
or give in.
No. By all means
Keep the music alive and well
and let this play
and let this keep beating like a drumbeat
that pulses in your heart
The truth is
symptoms are not the problems
and therefore
treating symptoms becomes nothing else
but a costly cycle.
In the beginning
I can see how I thought that I was nothing,
but, in fairness,
something about the need to feel better
was more than just a need to feel better.
Maybe this was caused by the drive
or the need to be more to you
than just “someone similar.”
Maybe this was enough to make me
want you in ways that seemed
crazy, if you will,
or maybe carnivorous is a good word,
or perhaps I should say
you make me hungry . . .
In the beginning
Continue reading1)
Wintertime . . .
The cold is nothing like it used to be
at least, not to me.
Then again,
nothing is like the way it was
or the way it used to be
at least, not to me.
Nothing is like the way things were
back then
or back when we were young
and seeing things
As if they were brand-new
and out of the box.
I remember though
the City . . .
I wonder what most people would say
if they could say anything at all
without fear, of course, or worrying that
perhaps they said too much or revealed themselves
in just such a way.
I wonder what I would say
if I could say anything else
without worrying
that I said too much.
Understand?
Continue reading
The Written Addiction 