She smiles sometimes and I believe this defies you.
To you, this is the worst kind of smile
because it proves you’ve lost what you once stole,
and that makes you angry,
She smiles, and I wonder if you believe her smiles are real,
because after all; how could she smile if you are not around,
am I right?
But I was wondering . . .
Do you think you would regret the things you did
if she never walked away?
Or would your lies somehow turn clean
and the past would be the past.
You could go on being you
and she could go on being exactly what you need her to be
. . . . by any means necessary
I started thinking,
when you said things like,
“I don’t know how much longer I can deal with her,”
what was the reason for that?
Because now that she’s moved on—all you do
is act as if this is her fault?
But this is the bitch part of the male ego
See, her beauty is a painful reminder of what slipped away,
and even though you tried to convince her she wasn’t,
someone else came along and showed her that she is beautiful.
So when she smiles, and she smiles because of someone else,
you are reminded of what you lost—or better yet,
you’re reminded of what you gave away
And that’s what stings.
I know it stings because I’ve been there too.
I know because I’ve seen the aftermath of an emptied closet
and dealt with the painful silence of a phone that no longer rings.
If you think about it . . . .
. . . . .the way we sabotage ourselves is pretty incredible.
I once saw an old girlfriend from lifetimes ago.
She passed without recognizing me.
She was married and sitting next to her husband on the train.
The diamonds twinkled on her wedding ring.
Her smile was bright and she was happy.
But I didn’t say anything to her.
I didn’t even try
the best amends is to leave the girl alone.