From The Daddy Diaries

Poem To My Punky:

You are older now 
and time is different in the sense
that I still see you
as this little girl with wild,
frizzy hair.

I still see you as you were
a tiny little thing who spoke in a tiny little voice.
You said words like, “Fenember,”
instead of, “Remember.”

The supermarket was “Sukermarket,”
and meatballs were, “Neatballs.”
I remember when you would pout.
I would ask what was wrong
and you would say, “Nuffing,”
with a cute little sniffle

You were so little and precious
and I was so scared.
I was scared of making a mistake.
I was scared to accidentally hurt you
or drop you when I’d lift you up.

You used to love to be picked up.
When you wanted me to lift you
you would raise your arms up to me and say,
“Uppy, Daddy. Uppy!”

You are older now
and the jokes that caused you to laugh hysterically
are no longer funny.
Times have changed
in the sense that the moments we share
are incredibly quick.

As I watch you grow, a piece of me weeps
and piece of me smiles.
As you move on in life,
a piece of me worries
and a piece of understands that sadly
I cannot hold you forever.

Try as I may, I will not always be there to protect you
And wish as I might, I will not always be there
to catch you before you fall

You’re tall now and you’re getting taller.
Your hair is long and mostly straight.
You see the world much differently now.
It’s certainly different from when I carried you in one arm
or when we played prince and princess.

You have your own style and taste.
You like boys now, and that above anything
is heartbreaking to me.
I say this is heartbreaking
because I am not sure if I could stand watching you cry
because some boy hurt your feelings
or broke your heart.

There are truly no words in the English language
as wonderfully life changing
and beautifully debilitating as,
“I love you Daddy.”

I was thinking . . .
Remember when I used to read you bedtime stories?
I was thinking about the stuffed animals
I was thinking about the ones in the basket
and the ones on your bed. 
I was thinking about the day when you might outgrow them

You are older now and time is everything.
You’re entire life is ahead of you
and I’m scared.
I’m scared of missing something.
I’m scared of missing you
and feeling forgotten.

One day you will be fully grown.
One day you will be a woman, and to me,
you’ll still be the same little girl
who laughed when I asked,
“Hey Punky, do you think fish get thirsty?”

You’ll always be the little girl
who believed
I was once friends with Animal
from The Muppet Show
and how Kermit and I were close friends . . .
until Miss Piggy came along.

No matter where you go
or how much you grow
no matter how far apart we may be,
you will always be in my heart.
You will always be my Punky
and I will always love you.

Goodnight sweet girl



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