Priority #1

Life has a way of teaching us lessons. And if we don’t learn the first time, the lesson comes back around again; only, the next time the lesson is more intense. And it goes this way until we learn.
Eventually, something happens and suddenly, a light comes on. Maybe we can call this an “Ah-ha!” moment. Maybe we have what people call a spiritual awakening or in more intense situations, we have what people consider to be a divine intervention.
Or, maybe something occurs; maybe this is as simple realization, which allows us to see things as they really are.
Something happens and suddenly, we take notice.
We see the need for change.
We come to this moment and find a need to take action. But what is action without reason?
More importantly, what is change without motivation. How do we maintain long-term goals without feeling motivated or inspired?

A time comes when we can no longer rationalize the things we take offense to. Eventually, a time comes when we are ready to move on.
And after a while, denial loses the ability to believe in the lies.
We swear we want to change. We swear we want the life we always wished for. Eventually, we come to the realization that we traded our dreams and settled for a lesser value.
In exchange, we find ourselves in places with people that we wished were otherwise.

We have the idea to change but not the plan. Sometimes we have both the idea and the plan but we lack the faith to follow through. Sometimes we have the faith, we have the idea, and we have the plan. But fear keeps us still.

To make a life change, the change must take priority. Otherwise, procrastination takes place. The longer we wait, the less inclined we are to reach our potential.
More accurately, the longer we wait to achieve our goals, the lower we place ourselves in our list of priorities.

Everyone has their own priority scale. We have routines and schedules. The word importance is personally relative; therefore, we moderate our priorities on a relative scale.

Consider a project . . .
Think about paperwork in a file that needs to be addressed or think about a job that needs to be finished but it is always pushed back. Consider this an important job; however, other things arise and take priority. Other things, such as more attractive ideas get in the way.

Consider a job that needs to be done, but yet, the job is annoying. Or maybe the personal  interaction is troublesome; or perhaps the details of the job are intimidating.
Needless to say, the job needs to be done but because of intimidation, the job is pushed back.

You follow?

Now, consider our selfishness. Think of our bouts with laziness and the reasons for them. Consider a job that needed to be done, but yet, one day became two days and two days became a week; the week became a month, and next, the job was pushed to the bottom of the pile and inevitably left undone.

This causes trouble.
This causes trouble in the workplace and troubles at home. This also creates a problem in our personal and interpersonal relationships. Moreover, this pushes us further down the priority line and degrades our value as well as our word.

Think about the saying, “My word is bond.” Think about a checking account with a bank of your choice. Think about the money in the account. I could rite a check for a million dollars but if the million isn’t in my account the check isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on.

Consider the times we hear someone promise they would call or do something. Think about how many times this fell through.
Think about the times we asked why promises fell through and heard nothing but excuses.
Sometimes people forget. And I get that. Sometimes life is busy. I get that too. However; life is always busy, which is why we do things based on a scale of priority.

No one forgets to eat or sleep or go to the bathroom. And why is this? This is because it is a natural priority of the body.
Same as we prioritize our personal hygiene, we prioritize our interpersonal and personal interactions.

Let’s go back to when we were kids in school. Let’s say we forgot to do our homework. Now, why would we forget something like this?
The reason is our priorities were placed somewhere else. Maybe we wanted to watch something on television. Maybe we wanted to play with our friends. Maybe we were on the phone with a girlfriend or a boyfriend. Either way, whatever we did; it took priority over the assignments we were given for homework.

Wellness is the very same way. Schedules are important to keep; however, everything we do needs to be prioritized. Relationships are this way too.

I have always been a fan of mixed martial arts. For as long as I can recall, I have always been a fight fan. I love the background stories of fighters and their training camps.

There is a lesson learned when training in combat sports, which is to always match the intensity of your training partner. This helps to avoid injuries. This helps teach a fighter who to grapple with and who to avoid. This also allows the fighter to receive and equal worth for equal efforts.

Always match intensity . . .

But what about relationships?
Is this much different?

There are times when we give too much of ourselves. We excuse the inexcusable behavior. We endure and we rationalize the personal offenses. We are taken from more than we have been given. We give, we do, and eventually, it becomes apparent that we are not a priority.

What needs to happen to make this change?
What changes should we make so that others will change the way the interact with us?
What will we do now that we realize the life we have is not the life we want, but yet, for some reason, we stayed; we adapted, we endured, and we remained?

There comes a time when we have to prioritize our life. We have to prioritize the people we interact with. There comes a time when we have to match intensity to keep our lives mutually beneficial instead of finding ourselves stuck in a one-sided friendship.

There comes a time when the excuses can no longer outweigh the truth.
We need to act.
We need to make changes but how?

We need to find a sense of purpose.
We need to find a sense of inspiration.
We need something to look towards; otherwise, we find ourselves stuck in the mundane existence of a life we never asked for.

I remember a morning in June. This was years ago. I stepped away from a life that was never meant for me. I stopped trying to pretend. I stopped negotiating my dreams and compromising my aspirations.
A time came when I opened my eyes and realized I needed to set my sights on something more than what I had.

In full disclosure, I knew I needed to make a change. I knew this long before I made the choice to see it through.
However, before I could make the change; my intentions had to change. My intensity had to change. I had to choose me as my priority; else, I would always weigh myself based on the scales of someone else’s importance. And that’s no good.

Eventually, something happened which opened my eyes wide enough to see that I wanted better. My motivation was me. I was motivated to find my value so that I would never feel worthless again.
Eventually, something happened which caused me to realize that my value always comes from within, that I am the always the square root to my own equation and should I forget to care for my roots, then I will tumble and fall like an old dead tree.
And to be honest, I’ve fallen enough to know that I don’t want to fall anymore.

Know what I mean?


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