Confidence Coaching for Today

Of all things you should never have to do, you should never have to do things to prove yourself. Least of all, you should never have to do things to prove you to yourself. You should never have to prove who you are for the obvious reason that you already are who you are. You could never be anyone else. No matter what you do or how hard you try to be anyone else; you will always be you. So make the best of it.

There will be mornings when you wake up. Your alarm goes off. You fall into your usual routine. Your body is in auto pilot as you make your way out to do that same things you’ve been doing, repeatedly, over and over again.

There will be mornings when you ask, “What am I doing?” and you’ll wonder if there is a point to all this.

There will be times when you’re tired. There will be times when you’ll look around and see the world around you.
It will seem to have lost its luster. Nothing shines so brightly anymore. The zest feels like it’s gone. Everything is routine now. Nothing challenges the senses. Nothing gives you drive or refreshes you like a splash of ice cold water on a sweltering hot summer’s day.

And you might look around at the material things you have; not to say the expensive things, but the simple things and the little things, like maybe a simple wristwatch or your cell phone and where you routinely place them before going to sleep at night. Maybe you’ll look at one of your rings or a necklace, which you leave in the same place each night when you get ready for bed. You might find yourself looking in your closet at your things, your clothes. Maybe you’ll look around at what you have and wonder if this life is really your life.

It is . . .

Often, people find themselves in a position in life when they wonder what their purpose is. Or maybe they wonder if they have a purpose at all. And sometimes, people find themselves wondering if this is it; maybe this is all that’s in store—an underwhelming life, configured to a blueprint that never really belonged to them to begin with. They just followed a plan that was made for someone else.

Often we find ourselves adhering to the blueprints of a so-called life that we’ve been taught about. Deep down, there was always a piece of us that wanted more or something different. But somehow, sometimes we settle. We settle because we’re afraid to miss out. We settle because we lack the faith that we’ll ever get exactly what we’re looking for.
We negotiate our terms and compromise our standards because deep down, we equate rejection with failure and failure with rejection.

There will be times when it is time to move forward. Rest assured you will know when this time comes. The question isn’t when will I know when it’s time to move on. I think more accurately, the question is what will I do when the time comes? Will I take the step and move forward, or, will I give in and just accept more of the same?

We are so much more than a position or job title. But yet we equate ourselves with price tags, wealth and the commonality of our existence. There was a man who was thought to have it all. He was a best-selling author. He had his own television show. He had wealth. He had a beautiful wife. People loved him. His fans adored him. He had the life that anyone could wish for, but still, in the quietness of his hotel room, and in the lonesomeness of his isolation, this man chose to take his own life.

This proves something. It doesn’t matter what you have in your pocket or in your garage or in your closet. What matters is what you have in your heart.

I have heard conversations from people that say, “If only I had this, then I would be better.”

There are times when we have those inner whispers:
If I only had more money . . .
If I only had the right home . . .
If I only had a better job . . .
If I could only lose weight or gain weight or feel healthier or look better . . .
If I could only be stronger . . .
If I just had the strength to dare. . .
If I just had the strength to stand up and walk away. . .
If I just had the courage to be me, as I am, with no change to my character, whatsoever, and if I was just able to look myself in the mirror and be grateful for what I see . . .
Then, I would be happy.

There will come a time, and I swear this will come–
And you will look around
you’ll wonder when it’s your turn.
You’ll wonder why the life you have is so different than the life you’ve always wanted. And until you find the life you’ve always wanted, you’ll always find yourself asking the same old common question.

First thing is to get comfortable with who you are. We need to be comfortable in our skin; otherwise, we’re always thinking about discomfort. And so long as we feel discomfort, we feel too uncomfortable, in which case, our mind will never relax enough to take on the idea that we can absolutely overcome and become anything we choose.

Who we are, how we look and how we speak; this is us.
There is no right or wrong anymore.
There is no good or bad.
Going forward, there is only good, better and best.
So get comfortable.
Be you because this is who you do best.

Next, we have to find our drive.
What pushes us forward?
What holds us back?
We need to understand this because this defines the ingredients to our success.

Have you ever seen a kite lift into the air?
Picture this. Think about a child holding the string and running. Think of how the kite weaves back and forth behind the child. Think of how the wind picks up and takes the kite up higher and higher.
Now, imagine the smile on the child’s face. I want you to see this as clearly as you can see these words in front of you.
Think of the child. Picture the surroundings. Pay close attention to all the necessary details to make this picture belong to you.

See the child get the kite into the air. Watch them smile. Watch their look of amazement that something so simple and miraculous is actually possible. The look on the child’s face is the truest expression of purity.

Imagine the emotional wealth this means to the child.
This is purity. See it perfectly.
Don’t move until you do.

I can tell you that I see it. I see it so clearly that tears are welling in my eyes as I write this to you because in my view, I am that boy.
I am that boy. I am that feeling and that look of amazement. Moreover, I am this; therefore, I am this child. Therefore, I am still pure. And so are you.

There will come a day, and as sure as the sunrise will come and the sunset will follow just a few hours later; a time will come when you find it within yourself to be free.
There is a part of you that wants to “Get out”, that aches to “Get out”, that just wants to “Be” to step away from it all and “Be free.”

So what do you want to do?
It’s really just an honest question.
It’s a simple question.
What do you want to do now?
It doesn’t have to be life changing or world changing.
Keep it easy.
What would you like to do now?

If you were to close your eyes to see your best life, what would this look like to you? What would your life look like if you were free to be you and not feel hinged or dependent upon anyone or anything else?

I have good news for you . . .
If you can see this, it can happen.

You just have to get started
and . . .
You have to mean it.

You should never have to do things to prove yourself to anyone, least of all to yourself. So get comfortable.  Look in the mirror and get comfortable with what you see because you at your best are capable of anything.

You just have to believe it.

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