I remember the most honest thing anyone ever said to me. I was about to enter a new chapter in my life. I was afraid, — or worried is more like it. I was afraid of the people I would see. I was afraid of what people might think or say. I was uncomfortable with my anticipation and uncomfortable about the things I would face.
The chapter was new and so was I. I had to make changes both physically and personally. I had to stop much of my previous behaviors and stay clear of some of my previous relationships because the road they led down was not a road I was interested in travelling.
We will all undergo change. This is unavoidable. The seasons change. Fashions change. Our tastes change and so will our tolerance for bullshit. Our perspective will change and so will our stressors.
I was about to embark on something new. I was intimidated if I’m being honest. I was afraid of a new scene and a new routine. I would be around different people and different personalities.
I was about to start a new job with new faces, new equipment and a new boss who was rumored to be unfriendly on his kinder days.
I was afraid
to screw up. I was afraid that I would fail. I was afraid I wouldn’t know what
to do in an emergency. More accurately, I was afraid of a slew of unknown
features that would come my way.
Would I fit in? Would the crew like me? Or would I be the weak link? Would I be the one that the boss chose to unleash upon when he was in one of his moods?
A friend of mine came along and gave me an honest piece of advice. When I explained my concerns and expressed my fears of something going wrong, my friend and former boss explained that worrying won’t help.
Be advised. Life happens to everyone. We make mistakes. We break things. We meet bad people and we see bad things. Worrying about this does not remove the existence; instead, worrying only amplifies this, which will cause us overlook the simple things, like say, the good things in life that often go unseen or unnoticed because our attention is elsewhere
We are always welcome to nurture any feeling we choose. We can nurture any thoughts we pick. We can worry. We can panic. We can do whatever we want.
We can recognize the things which don’t even exist anymore, like yesterday, for example—or the past, which will always remain forever unchangeable. We are always welcome to worry about tomorrow or the day after. We can worry about the future; only, the future is similar to the past in which, none of them exist.
The past is gone. Tomorrow has yet to happen. Meanwhile, the worry center is spinning around and around.
Meanwhile, in our angst to figure out the unchangeable or the unforeseeable, we miss out on the simple things, like today and the attention to its details.
Understand something; it’s okay to be cautious. Understand realism and skepticism is not the same thing as pessimism or cynicism. But the line between them is thin; so be mindful of this.
Since we are welcome to nurture any thought or feeling we choose, we are also welcome to worry. We are welcome to panic. In addition, we are also free to nurture possibilities. We are free to explore the opportunity to overcome any time we choose.
A long time ago, it was told to me as honestly as possible. Don’t worry. You’ll screw up plenty. You’re going to experience loss. Your feelings will be hurt. You’ll take offense to things. You’ll see things you don’t like. You’ll meet people you can’t stand. You’ll see good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good ones. Such is life.
People will come in and out of your world. This is an inescapable fact. Your loved ones will go through hard times. You will feel helpless. You will hurt when someone you love passes away and you will be angry when someone you care about takes you for granted.
There is nothing wrong with speaking honestly or being honest about your thinking. In fact, I applaud anyone with the ability to take an honest, internal look within themselves. I admire anyone brave enough to say everything truthful about them without dressing this up to look pretty.
I admire you because you keep me going. You help me to aspire to be better on a daily basis. I appreciate you because you help me defy the inner narrative that would otherwise destroy me, or tell me to quit.
Had I allowed myself to worry about things beyond my control or had I picked apart my anxieties; I might have missed one amazing and simple fact, which is that I am loved. (And so are you by the way.)
So you be you and I’ll be me.
If we’re lucky, we can coincide as friends or as family. We can withstand anything because prepared or not, life is still going to happen to the both of us. True story
The real question is what we will do when this happens.
Since life is going to happen anyway, whether good bad, indifferent, or in-between, let me be ready with a plan and a strategy to achieve my goals.