Tuesday 5/14/2019: Go Time

It is morning now.
The weather has been rainy but for the time being
the rain has paused

but the sky is still covered in the cloth of gray clouds.

We are entering into a new time.
Then again, every day is a new time.
But still . . .
please be advised,
this life we live does not come with an instruction manual.
There will be no warnings
Life is not scripted
and the moment at hand
is certainly not a rehearsal

The truth of the matter is it is okay to have bad times.
It is okay to feel pain. It’s okay to be sad.
It is okay to go through life on life’s terms
and feel beaten,
or broken,
or whatever the case may be
It is okay to be in the moment,
to be you
to feel, to think,
and to be as you are
without apology.

I have news.
Things will not always go as planned.
That’s okay.
People will not always be what

we expect them to be.
Experience will teach us,

not every smile is a friendly one
and not every promise is binding.
But that’s okay.

Life will happen. . . .
Things will happen. We will fall.

We will skin our knees and scrape our knuckles
but we will get by.
Rest assured, time will come between now and then,
and yes, we will be okay.

Not investment will pay off.
Not every plan will come to fruition
and not every relationship
will meet our expectation.
But that’s okay.
It’s not personal—even if it is personal . . .
It’s not the end of the world
It will be okay.

It is okay to feel.
It is okay to lose and it is okay to fail.
It is okay to fall too

so long as we get back up again.
It is okay to love as well—even if we are hurt

or heartbroken, even if we feel betrayed
or abandoned or let down in any way
that’s okay.
It is okay to think, and it is okay to scream

or cry or rant.
There is nothing wrong with any of this this.

I believe there is justice in our tears
and there can be redemption found in our pain.
I believe this makes us who we are.
And for the record;
I happen to like who we are.
(You should too)

I have never been sure why we try to hide ourselves
or be someone else.
In fairness
the hardest thing to do is equally the easiest,
which is to be ourselves.
Just be us.
That’s all we have to do.
Everything else will be okay

Like now, it’s raining. Sure, I get it.
Nobody wants it to rain all the time.
But the truth is the sun is bound to come out.
No matter how cold it is, warmer days are on the way.
I promise.

I cannot stop life from happening.
I cannot stop the world from turning.
I can’t stop life from changing or ending.
I swear, if I could, I would push a button

and just like that . . .
all the pain, all the questions,
all the worry, all the fears of rejection
and the ideas of regret,
all the tragic memories and the hard recollections
and cold realizations would just be gone.
Just like that.
Unfortunately, there is no such button.
And you know what?
That’s okay too.

The only button we have is us.
The only thing I have;
and I mean the only thing I really have is me.
And that has to be okay
because otherwise,
I won’t have anything.
I wouldn’t have you or anyone else.
Without me in the equation,
I would have nothing.
And I just can’t have that.

Know what I mean?

As of this morning,
I am about to embark on another journey.
There are others that were similar
but this one is new.
I am certainly free to look back

or regard my previous experiences—or,
if I choose to,
I can make today different
by giving myself permission to live, to feel,
and to be exactly as I choose.

I used to hide my feelings.
I used to keep my fears a secret.
I used to stay clear of vulnerability
and bury my thoughts because I mistook them
for weakness.
But I am not weak nor could I ever be.

I am strong because I am me

The fact that I stand where I am
and do what I do
means I earned my place at the table.
Which means no one in the world
can take what I have from me
unless I offer it away;
and I’m through giving myself away.
I’m through hiding, which means
I’m not afraid anymore

You hear that?

I’m not afraid anymore!

And even if I am
So what?

It’s still going to be okay

I can live through anything so long as I choose to
. . .

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