I am writing this in response to a question. I was asked about what I do. I was also asked what coaching is. I was asked if self-coaching is possible, which it is, but it is always helpful to have someone to interact with.
Well, this is how I see it.
To define coaching is very simple. There are different coaches that are certified in different areas of wellness. First and foremost, the connection between a coach and client is important.
Be advised, a coach does not treat or diagnose. There is no judgement. There are just goals, plans, and strategy to get from point A to point B.
And that’s it . . .
Same as I would not go to an auto mechanic for legal advice, i would not seek out caching for medical advice; however, part of being a coach is to assist the client in daily and personal navigation of care.
This is the home team in which we define our objectives, make the right plan, create a strategy by putting the plans together by utilizing our personal tools, people and means of support, and achieving our goals and aspirations.
There is a mutual responsibility in this relationship, in which honesty, integrity, confidentiality cannot and must not be broken.
First, if you are considering a coach, then please consider carefully before financially considering this commitment. And make no mistake; this is a commitment.
Some call this a commitment to change. Some consider this a commitment to better or improve their life. Some chose to improve in business skills, which is why they have executive coaches.
Some want to improve their life skills, which is why they choose a life coach.
Some people want to eat and physically improve. Others want to change their habits and look for assistance in recovery from a previous lifestyle.
Some people just need a nudge and support. Some look for confidence and strategy solutions and some look for an empowerment and transformational-based curriculum.
Some look to improve their ideas of self-worth and value. Some are looking for clarity to help define their purpose, to sharpen their focus, and to overcome obstacles and going forward to create opportunities.
Before going onward in your client/coach relationship, it is a good idea to answer a few questions.
What is the main goal?
What changes would be most beneficial?
Which relationships better you and which ones deter you from your best potential?
(Relationships are important!)
What behaviors serve you best and which ones do not serve you well at all?
An honest and thorough personal assessment is important before making this commitment. Remember, coaching is a financial investment.
So invest wisely.
There are common fears amongst us all. Fear of the dark. Fear of the unknown. Fear of rejection and exposure. There is a fear of failure and a fear of success. Fear is a distressing emotion aroused by an impending force or danger. Everyone has fear. And of course, let’s not leave out fear of change.
But what is
Change: to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone
But there are different kinds of change. There is an intentional change, such as the intention to lose weight or improve physical ability.
There are unintentional changes, for example, the unexpected loss of employment. No one intends to undergo surgery or chemotherapy. No one intends to be sick. However, unintentional changes will put us in unexpected places.
There are natural changes like age and maturity. Naturally, we grow and we age and our body changes along the way.
There is the accidental change—and let’s face it, accidents happen all the time.
Of course, there is the unavoidable change. Life is life, which means life comes with laws and as Socrates once said, “No amount of pretending can change these laws.”
There are behavioral changes, which link into emotional and spiritual changes. There are life-changing events like a child being born or a parent passing away.
There are other life-changing events; some of which are secretive and heavily weighing upon us to keep us from rising up to the occasion.
There are planned changes, which can be as simple as switching from coffee to tea or changing internet providers.
There are unplanned changes, for example, life hits like a storm. Take for example Hurricane Sandy that hit my area years ago. I filed a claim with my homeowner’s insurance. Months later, a separate storm damaged the siding on my home, in which I filed another claim.
My insurance company accepted and honored my claims; however, my policy was dropped. This was not planned. I had switched my homeowner’s insurance, which was not particularly difficult but yet, it was not particularly easy because I have dogs. (That’s whole other story)
Life changes in different areas and in different ways.
This happens every day, yet, somehow, people still fear change.
There are rational and irrational fears. The idea of a personal self-assessment is to recognize a starting point and choose your best direction.
The Next Step:
Newton’s First Law is, “An object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an opposite or unbalanced force.”
What does this mean to you?
Basically this means if nothing happens then nothing happens. Which means in order to change, we need to create motion in an opposite force.
if any would you like to make?
What changes would improve your life?
What changes do you find most problematic?
Keep in mind, improvement is a change.
Life is relative, but what is most relative to you?
What improvements or changes would alter your life significantly?
These are questions that need to be answered honestly and realistically before choosing a coach. In most cases, coaches will have an intake questionnaire that ask similar questions.
What is your R.A.S.O.?
Your R.A.S.O. is a Realistic, Attainable, and Sustainable Outcome.
What are your realistic goals?
(That’s your R.A.S.O.)
What needs to happen to make them so
Are they realistic?
Are they attainable?
And are they sustainable so that you can achieve and maintain your main objectives?
Incremental goals are based on simple daily achievements, which lead to short-term goals that act as a benchmark and lead us one step closer to our long-term and main, overall goal.
The idea of a coach is to help navigate through daily life and coach the client an how to remove the emotional obstacles that keep them from being their best possible self.
Not every coach is matched for every client; however, one thing I have learned above all is when the student is ready the teacher will appear.
Newton’s Law: An object at rest will remain at rest and an object in motion will remain in motion, at the same speed and in the same direction, unless altered by an opposite or unbalanced force.
How does this apply to you?
Next question . . .
What do you want to do about it?
Perhaps a coach can help you answer it.
See what I mean?