The Ongoing Goodbye

The following is a rehearsed note that is said by many and delivered by few. This is not about me or you or us. But yet this is about me and you and everyone else.
This is about the goodbyes I wished I had always said. This about the people I wished I walked away from, long before we even met. This is about pain and feeling and emotion. This is about the celebration of leaving. This is about the life I had and never want to revisit and the people I knew that I never want to be surrounded by again.
I wrote this while thinking about life and life’s situations, which we talk about, and then we look back and we wish we could have found the bravery to stand up and walk away.

Let’s face it though. Change isn’t easy. Neither is walking away sometimes. More accurately, neither is being alone or being an after thought or regarded like say, “Hey yeah, remember him?”
Please read on and if you can relate then perhaps this might encourage you to take the next few steps because after that . . . you’re gone

Here I go
I’m packed up and ready to go . . .
I’m moving out
I have the wind at my back
and I’m taking it on the road.
That’s it this time


(I mean it)

I’m taking it on the chin
no matter what happens,
so be it let it happen because I’m gone.
I’m leaving
I’m laughing at the pavement beneath my fee
t
I’m walking quickly
because just can’t get away fast enough

and once I’m gone,
trust me
I won’t ever be here again

That’s it
I’m a new person now
I’m refreshed
I’m reborn or better yet

I am born again
but most of all,

I’m gone

Here I go, I’m out the door
(Just let me finish this one last thing)


Yesterday doesn’t even matter to me now
Yesterday’s gone

and besides
I don’t even live there anymore.

That’s it.
This morning I woke up with an idea
I thought of what it would be like

to live on the other side of this bridge
and then let it burn behind me,

to let the fires light my way,
to let it all happen
because I once I split
I’m gone
and I don’t ever want to be here again.

This morning,
I climbed out from the sheets
I got out of bed
and that was it
I’m awake now
I see clearly now

I made a decision
I don’t want to be sick anymore

I don’t want to be unhappy anymore
more importantly,
I don’t want to be “This
anymore

There I go.
I’m out.
I’m down the street

I hit the road

Different places, different faces
Different avenues and different streets
New blocks with new buildings
a new atmosphere, a new environment
another town and a new me

and that’s it
because the old me;
the old me is gone
now
In fact, I’m gone now
and good riddance too!

No more shrugging things off
No more excusing
No more lying in bed,

too unenthused to move
too tired to do anything
too awake to sleep

No more watching the clock
no more looking to see the seconds
just tick away
meanwhile, this is me,

stuck here
but not anymore.

No more thinking you’re right
just because you tell me so
No more of anything
That’s it
I’m out
I’m gone
I’m done
and all this is history.

Here I go,
wishing for the spring to come in wintertime
there I go
thinking about the autumn when the summer gets too hot

Here I go, wishing I stepped out
and ran away each time I practiced this speech
and there I go, imagining you
laughing at me
because you knew I didn’t have the courage.

How many times are you going to hold me back
or better yet . . .
How many times will I let you?

But that’s it
This time, it’s over
I’m finished
we’re through

Here I go.
I’m leaving now
I’m out.
I’m gone
and more than anything
I’M DONE!

There . . .
tell me again

how I’ll never make it without you

Yeah. That’s what I thought

That’s it.

I’m gone

Just don’t forget to water the plants


Or wait, should I come back and check/
Just to help you, I mean

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