The thing about our feelings is no one else feels them. Others can relate but still, this is us. I am me. You are you. It’s just that simple.
I don’t know what 10lbs. feels like in your arms. I don’t know what it feels like to lift something heavy with your strength. I only know what weight feels like to me. And sometimes life just feels too heavy.
Am I right?
We have our ideas and our opinions, which have been trained by our the perception of our experience.
But beware of your thoughts. They are not always real.
Be mindful that feelings are not fact and neither are expectations.
They just are what they are.
Be conscious that our predictions are often based on our biased opinions. We base our predictions on fear, on pain, on the worries of helplessness; we base them on the worries that we might be exposed or publicly humiliated.
In cases like this; all roads lead to rejection and rejection leads to fear, which is exactly what a panic or anxiety attack is. It ‘s all just fear.
Our thoughts centralize around our powerless situations that are simply out of our control.
We worry. We complicate and we overthink. Our nerves fray like the end of an old tattered rope. Our thoughts overreact and the concern causes an uncontrollable flood within us.
And then we panic.
It’s like hitting an unexpected tripwire and, “Boom” the bomb goes off in a chain of events that only get worse.
This begins with a simple thought that we hold too long. Then one thought runs into another and just like that, the explosion in our mind reminds me of an old black and white film I once saw that recorded the detonation of the atomic bomb.
Everything crumbles. The devastation moves outward from the epicenter, which is in our head, which is essentially ground zero, and then the attack comes like a blast wave. And once it hits, it’s too late. The bomb has already gone off
The thing is no one really gets this. They may say they understand, but you’ll always question of they really do.
And besides, how can anyone understand what this feels like if they never felt it themselves? And how could anyone feel what I feel?
How could anyone know what my pain is like? or yours . . .
Anxiety is a killer. Literally! Anxiety kills us. It takes away joy and the celebratory feeling of a perfect day. Anxiety can swipe away the pleasure of a moment, like say, even on Sunset Blvd in Los Angeles when the sunrise took the sky, which is literally so beautiful, but yet, the emotions run too intense to unwind or enjoy anything.
Someone might tell you “Just try and relax.”
They say it like this is an easy thing. But you know this is impossible.
The thought machine is counting the casualties that stem from the over-stimulated thoughts, which take off in an uncontrollable direction. It’s the calculations that do us in. it’s the continuance of thought. We have to try and find a way to stop the succession of explosions in our brain
This is Social Anxiety Disorder. This is us putting importance where importance doesn’t belong. This is an inaccurate perception of us and our life. its not real It just “Feels” real.
This is the assumption that everyone sees, everyone knows, and more accurately; this is us making the assumption that everyone is actually paying attention to us and our live (Or crazy pathetic lives is a more accurate thought when the anxiety takes place.)
Meanwhile, the rest of the world has their own life. Anxiety, on the other hand is more dramatically and systematically self-absorbed and leads us to this claustrophobic mentality.
The walls are closing in. Everyone is looking. Everyone knows and everyone sees, and yet, nobody gets how this feels or how excructing anxiety can be.
Our thinking implodes and we emotionally collapse. We break down. Literally, we actually break down to the point where our body physically reacts on behalf of our mental anguish.
Everybody knows and everybody sees. Meanwhile, in most cases, nobody notices and most times, nobody even cares.
We come to the question of “Who can the world be this way?”
But is it this way?
Or, is this just our perception?
We care. And that’s it.
It seems like everything weighs against us.
This is not paranoia. This is anxiety.
This s depression, which is not our fault.
Truth is most people don’t know anything that goes on beyond their own world. But to the socially anxious, we think in a self-absorbed way.
We think that all eyes are on us. We think everyone can see our weak little thoughts. Everyone knows our vulnerable little secrets. We sense the rejection before it begins. Most times we sense the rejection before it is even real.
We worry that we will be hurt. We worry we can shamed, broken, or literally destroyed in a social surrounding.
Again, I say we encounter a sense of social claustrophobia, —it’s like the wells are closing in; only, there are no walls, just people.
Truth is most times no one else is really paying attention. Truth is no one around us is that important. And do you know what else?
Neither are we.
Yet, still, we place all of our importance around others. We worry about what they think and how we look.
We somehow get stuck on the thought that people are blaming us and considering us but the truth is this is only in our head.
It’s not real.
Our thoughts are running out of control. Our predictions become an internal injustice.
More accurately, our fear receptors are overreacting. The chest gets tight. It’s hard to breathe. The panic comes on like it will never go away.
So what do you do?
Replace thought with action to stay out of your head
Take a walk (If possible.)
Do an exercise.
Exercise has been proven to be helpful.
Or you can write. That’s what I do.
Writing has been very helpful to me.
Scream if you have to.
Do something but whatever you do, be sure to not stay in your head.
The idea is to design a unique and personal system that applies and works for the individual.
Although many relate to the stress of panic, we are all unique. We are individuals with individual fears and ideas; therefore, we need to treat ourselves in a unique and personal way.
I reject the ideas and blanketed programs that say this way is the only way to wellness. I reject the “One size fits all” models; however, I do agree with a basic framework that we modify to suit our needs
Replacement of thought and behavior is important.
In the past, perhaps we reached for something to help us through. We looked for a quick relief that led to a habitual pattern of self-harm.
Whether it was overeating, hair pulling (hair pulling is more common than most people realize,) scratching, cutting (also very common,) drinking, drugs, or through some form of compulsion that gives a temporary ease; we need to find a better and beneficial replacement.
Consider your mind like a room in a home. Certainly everyone has a room in their home. So yes, in this case we are all alike—and yes, we all have furniture, we all have pictures on the wall, but my decoration is not the same as your decoration, which means although similar in certain regards, the rooms in our mind are all very different.
It is my finding that by reaching people as an individual instead of blanketing them with a generalization of methods to help them feel well, we are able to find a better way towards internal rest.
I want to think about this word
Think of what it sounds like: to rest, to stop the worry, to stop the movies from playing in our head; to stop the devastation from the panic.
Self-centeredness is what kills us. The assumption we suffer from is that everything is our fault or relates to us.
Beware of your thoughts. This is where the panic lives.
This is where the triggers are and this is where the explosion begins.
It is easy to tell someone, “It’s just in your head.”
It is easy to tell someone to “Calm down.”
But it’s not so easy when the panic comes. This is why we need to define a personal system that helps us on an individual basis.
We need to learn how to replace thought with action.
Otherwise we suffer.
Whether the anxiety is social or personal, it doesn’t matter.
Either way, anxiety sucks.
We hve to come up with a better way to defend ourselves