There are details we hold onto, such as the past and the unresolved tensions that linger in the halls of our memory. Tensions like this are the unanswered questions that remain even after the tension is gone. We are products of our past. We are the aftermath of incidents and the remnants of recollections that stem from incidents and accidents that happened during out daily life. Our mind is a recording that plays the compilations of resentments to which, at some point, we become weighed down by things that are long since gone.
There is no freedom this way. There is only recollection.. There is only the “Before,” which is nothing more than heavily weighted ideas that hold us down with different concepts of worry and concern. This is the way we hold ourselves captive. We have ideas that chain us to imprisoned thinking, which leads to a trapped mindset.
There are ideas we hold onto that linger from past resentments. There are arguments and circumstances that went on beyond our control, which in fairness, this is how life is but yet, we personalize too much and all too often. Of course, someone comes along to say, “Let it go,” but how does one let something go?
Much of our life is beyond our control. There is no changing the past and there is no way to reshape something that is no longer moldable.
The past is gone, yet, we remember the past very well. This is especially so when our past connects us to ideas of pain or regret and shame. We build up our biases to use as shields and to steer us away from dangerous grounds.
There are ideas we have about other people in our life that triggers an old, but popular saying. “The first time its shame on you. The second time its shame on me.” This keeps us on guard. This keeps us locked and loaded, just in case someone is looking to hurt us again. When it comes to the irremovable people in our lives or the most important, and when it comes to the unresolved questions and the lingering tensions, there is only one way to freedom.
First, we have to figure out a way to disconnect from our ideas of the past recollections, conversations, and habits. Nothing will ever change what was because it already was. It’s over. Accept this or not; over still means over.
Pain lingers however, pain is living and breathing. Suffocate this and pain can no longer exist. Refuse to feed the anger and the anger starves.
Acceptance is the key to a new future but on many occasions, acceptance is a hard word to understand. This means we have come to an internal agreement. To accept means we understand the details of life that are not changeable.
“It is what it is,” which is a saying that drives most people crazy.
Crazy or not, “It is what it is,” is still the truth. There has to be a moment of closure. There needs to be a sign of farewell because by saying goodbye, we open ourselves up to say hello to a new frame of mind.
There had to be a time when all was too much and with no energy left, with nowhere further left to fall, I couldn’t hold the weight of all my anguish and anger. I had to rid me of my resentments, and heartaches. The only choice I had was to understand the difference between changeable and unalterable. I worked on what I could and did what was within my power. All else was beyond me.
I had to remember that life is simply math that adds up in a very particular way. Regret leads to more regret. Shame leads to more shame. Fault, guilt, and blame leads to nothing else but more of the same thing. This is simple math.
I had to come to the understanding that if I am to add anything then let me understand my addition in a better way. Motivation leads to empowerment and empowerment leads to action, which leads to change and ultimately creates improvement. This is the best math available to us.
There is no freedom with imprisoned thinking. In order to “Let go,” first and foremost, I had to understand that by contributing to the internal narrative of my inner demons and my resentments, I would always be tied down or held back. To change and find acceptance, I had to learn different pathways of thinking. I had to come to the realization that yesterday is gone. I had to understand this because there is no salvaging something that is gone. I had to learn not to interact with degenerative thinking of all my losses and how to replace hurtful thoughts with helpful actions.
There are times when my past creeps up on me. There are times when my memories turn inward and the shame comes back around. There are times when I find myself reliving old regrets and unresolved tensions, which bring me right back to the dilemmas I wished I could get away from.
In order to change, I had to change my interaction. I had to change my thinking by changing my behavior, which then allowed me to feel differently.
No one is perfect. We all shoot and miss. We make mistakes but that’s okay so long as we don’t allow our mistakes to make us.
The bravest thing I ever did for me is allow myself the freedom of forgiveness. I had to pardon my regrets and pardon me from my past.
This way I was able to focus on my new future. Otherwise, life would be nothing more than just more of the same.
This is the right to pardon.