The Time We Have

I have never been sure what happens to time. I only know that it moves fast when you wish things could slow down. I know that it was just yesterday that I was so much younger. The world was a different place to me. The City was like a romance novel with wild, unexpected turns. There was action and suspense. There was drama and tragedy, comedy, thrillers and times when Central Park held a different sense of dignity to me. 

I remember the horse and carriage rides, which I only took once with a girl that hardly meant enough to remember her name. But still, there was something about the ride through the park. This was cool but was it cool enough to make me wish I was there with someone else, like say, someone at least meaningful enough that I could have relaxed and enjoyed the ride.

Time is the strangest thing we have. It flies by when you wish the time would pause and then it lingers when you wish time would speed up. This is like a sick joke sometimes. I know it all too well.

Time flies. And here I am, grown and approaching the anniversary of my 48th year on Project Earth. I have invented and reinvented myself more times than I can count. I have fallen and stood up again. I have seen things I never thought I would see, like the sunset in Paradise Valley, Arizona. I have seen both the uptown world and the downtown scene. I’ve eaten in some of the best and worst places. I have lived and loved and hurt and bled as much as anyone else in this world. 

Then one day, time hits us all. We look back at where we’ve been. We look back in amazement and ask ourselves, “Where did the time go?”
We were all young at one point. I know we were. Time moves and it moves without mercy or consideration. Either way, a second will always be a second and a minute will always be a minute. An hour is only an hour and a day is just a day. These things have a way of adding up quickly and before we know it, we turn around in complete and total amazement to say things like, “Holy shit. I can’t believe it’s been a year already!”

I have friends with grandchildren. I know children that are not children anymore. They’re grown now. They work in the adult world with a home of their own. They have a family with kids. And I see them with total disbelief as I think to myself, “I remember back when you were just a kid!”

I have grown and moved around. I have been different people in my lifetime, all because I was searching to find the person I am supposed to be. I still work on this sometimes. I just hope time doesn’t escape me before I learn the answer.

I have seen the changes in styles and fashions and then watched as they overlapped again. I have watched the changes that happened with music, which I feel is unfortunate because I don’t believe people today understand what it means to go to a show and listen to a band play live and as loud as humanly possible.

I have certainly noticed a change in television. And let’s not forget the change in cartoons. No wonder why kids today are all screwed up. Look at the cartoons they have. Think about this. We had it all. We had Bugs and Daffy, Woody Woodpecker, The Flintstones, Heckle and Jeckle and we had Saturday morning cartoons and the kung-fu movies at 3:00pm on Sunday, Channel 5.

We used to have a parade march through my town for opening day when the little league baseball season began. I know this because I was in this parade a few times. I was small as ever. The uniform didn’t fit me. My baseball hat was bigger than my head and my baseball glove was about as big as my arm. 

I swear this happened in another life. I know this is a chapter of my life but the book reads funny to me now. This is all too surreal. That was me once. I was so little. I never thought I would grow or age or be someone like say, a homeowner and someone that pays bills or taxes. 

I remember scrounging up a $1.50 to go to the movies. I remember seeing Sergeant Pepper in the movie theater. Hell, I remember when kids used to go outside and play. The rule was be home when the streetlights began to turn on. But no one ever wanted to go home. That was such a long time ago. Sometimes it feels like yesterday was a long time ago.
See what I mean?
Time is the strangest thing we have. And sometimes we don’t have enough time at all. We don’t have time to say the things we want to say or do the things we want to do.

Sometimes, time is only a fleeting moment that will never come again, which only proves that when the time hits us, take advantage, because we never know when or if we will have this chance again.

I listened to a few people argue about the importance of wearing a mask on their face to prevent the spread of a virus. This is the same virus that’s going around and killing people in record numbers. The truth is I don’t know much about viruses. I’m not a doctor or a scientist. I’m just someone creeping up to his next birthday and looking around with the idea that time is too precious. Life is too precious. If it’s up to me then it must be up to me to live my life as best as I possibly can. Otherwise, time might run out and I might turn around and think to myself, “Where the hell did the time go?”

Wherever it goes, I just don’t want to waste more of it. If time is both all that I have and fleeting at the same time, then let me be the first to take hold of this minute and squeeze every second for the rest of my life to make it count.

Here comes the sun now.
It’s another day above the dirt.
The best idea is to live as if I will never have this chance again because the truth is, I won’t ever have this chance again.

Know what I mean?

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