Sessions from the Balcony: Beauty

I do not believe that we have to conform to any shape or size. In fact, my version of beauty has curves. The idea which believes beauty is flawless is already flawed in itself. Beauty has flaws. This is what makes us beautiful. Beauty has no particular shape which to me, if asked, I will explain that my version of beautiful is not connected to you or someone else’s ideas.
No, not at all. In my case, my version of beauty is beautiful because of what this means to me.

Nothing is ever flawless.
No, to be beautiful means that flaws are meaningless because everything you contain is beyond flaw. This is because you are you and to me, this is beautiful. Beauty is the ability to make someone think and feel. Beauty is the ability to bring out emotion, and yet, wipe this all away at the same time. To be you, now, that’s beautiful. To be you, exactly as you are, without fear or apology is not only beautiful, but more to the point, this is a bravery that most people don’t have.

To me, beauty is the ability to laugh out loud or to dance as if no one’s watching. Or, even if someone is watching, who cares?
You’re beautiful, so dance.
Beauty has nothing to do with wearing white after Labor Day (or is this just an American thing?) and to me, beauty is not overly concerned with accidentally wearing something suede in the rain.

If you ask me, beauty is featureless but yet, to be beautiful means that you contain all the features that trigger all the senses of the world. You are the sight and the sound, the taste and the touch. That’s beautiful to me.

With all my heart, I know that beauty has nothing to do with perfection. Instead, to be beautiful means that imperfection does not matter. This cannot only come from one side or seen from one angle. This cannot be seen by only one point of view or noticed because of one trait or physical trait. No way. In fact, beautiful outsides that can go beyond measure will always be reduced by an ugly core.

Your beauty has to come from within. There is no mistaking this. Your beauty is a confidence that does not regard the attention of others or solicit the need for outside approval. True beauty is an understanding. True beauty is flowing, breathing, and a living part of us which is undying because truth be told; your beauty can never die. You should know this by now.

Beauty is not the need for validation or acceptance, nor is moved or distracted by counter opinions because instead, beauty is a comfort which most do not possess. Beauty is the light which brightens the room. Or more accurately to me, beauty is the light that brightens the world, in which case, as long as there is you, I will never see darkness.

This is peace. This is the touch of a hand that means everything. This is the sound of a voice which melts all the troubles. Beauty is the shape of hips and the sway of your body, exactly as it is, and as it is, you are beautiful, and yet in all this time, you never knew it. Of course you never knew it because humility is beautiful and ugliness is boastful. 

Beauty is not a singular shape or size or color and feature. Beauty is not supposed to be limited or configured to a commercial choice or popular demand. My version of beautiful is different and unique. My version of beautiful is outstanding.

My version is flawed, yet flawless, because my version of beauty is seasoned by the realities of life, and yet, with all we face and with all the hardships, with all the aches and pains, and with all the hatefulness and ugliness, my version of beautiful is the one that not only withstood, but continues to stand through adversity and yet, there it is, beauty in the truest degree.

So what if no one sees this. So what if no one agrees. So what if people say I’m crazy. Then fine. Let me be crazy. Let me be the only one that sees it this way. Let me be the only one that believes this because at least I will have surrounded myself with something beautiful. And in an ugly world like this one, at least I’ll be happy.

Isn’t that the goal?

Beauty on the outside but ugly on the inside will only make someone average at best.
Who wants that?
Not me. Not you.
Not anyone.

In fairness, we all want to be beautiful. We all want to be flawless and perfect but then we wouldn’t be us at all. As a matter of fact, then we wouldn’t be beautiful.

And sure, I have scars. I have imperfections. I have details that are less than cosmetically perfect. I have features that may or may not be as desirable as others. Yet, this is me.

I am alive and in the flesh. I am open and bleeding in plain sight. I am hopeful, passionate as ever, eager to love, and laugh. I am hopeful to scream and looking to dance whenever possible. And yes, I have a past. I have a history of mistakes. I have character defects and sins that I keep in a closet with some of my skeletons. I have all of this and more, which is what adds the seasoning to my life. This is what gives me flavor because otherwise, I would be bland to the taste.
And who the hell wants that?

I am not sure when it became more important to please the masses. I am not sure why outside opinion took priority over the internal understanding that yes, we are perfectly flawed and unique.

I love it this way.
Besides . . .
I’d rather know what beauty is than what it isn’t and pretend that it’s real.