In the beginning of any switch or change or especially at the start of a personal rebuild or transformation, often, the toughest or most intimidating idea is where do we begin? Where do we start and how? There are self help books and coaches and gurus that can say what to do, but yet, this always leaves the same resounding question: How?
Is this even possible?
A favorite quote of mine comes from St. Francis. I love this quote because he simplifies it best by explaining, “Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly, you’re doing the impossible.”
There is something to this.
There is something simple and yet brilliant to this idea, which in the easiest terms is do the next best thing — take one step at a time and keep moving. Create momentum and don’t look back. There is a simple genius to this strategy. It is streamlined and cut down without all the complicated words and complex suggestions.
Do what is in front of you. Don’t overlook the simple steps you’ve taken and don’t forget to realize and recognize this process belongs to you. No one else and nothing else matters. There are no judges here (except for ourselves).
And then people will say, “Yeah, but what if?”
Or “How do I?”
These questions are based on intimidation. These ideas are based on the outcomes of our attempt. This means they are marked with the notion of pass or fail, win or lose.
But why? Where does this come from?
How is it that we are so painfully over-critical of ourselves? We judge everything we do with a measure of achievement or defeat — everything is absolute; meaning, there is only one or the other.
In an effort to get away from this thinking and to move away from the absoluteness of success or defeat; we have to come to a personal understanding — we have to draw a line in the sand, if you will, which is the starting point between now and then.
From here on out and going forward, this is where we stake our claim. There has to come an idea, which is monumental enough to create a sense of motivation. This is the decision that empowers us to say two famously important words.
These two words can effectively create change. And therefore, in order to create the effects of change and with all we have; we have to come to a point where our discomforts and discontent with the way things are have grown to overpower our fears or discomforts with the questions like, “What happens if I fail?”
Once we move beyond the ideas of personal vanity; and once we move beyond the worries of pride, our humility becomes our best and strongest asset. This is our purity at work. This is real. Most people are afraid of vulnerability; however, I can say that it takes a strong person with a strong soul to come forward — it takes true guts to stand in the face of adversity and to face a change and take a swing. The fact that one pushes themselves to this place is in and of itself a tremendous victory.
Somehow, people fail themselves by overlooking their best resources. People forget their natural abilities and their capabilities because for too long, we are caught up with ideas of the hypercritical notion of pass or fail. And be advised, we do not have to bring our report card home anymore. We do not have to beg for or look for acceptance or approval from anyone else anymore. This is only a distraction.
Your ideas to motivate your change and the drive which inspires you will come. This will come to you when the value of what you want becomes so precious that no one in the world; not an army or a nuclear blast could keep you from this.
I have heard people claim they want a better life. I have heard from people in crisis and from people that struggle with their own demons, which seem too insurmountable to overcome. And they say things like, “Maybe that’s just it. Maybe I just don’t want it bad enough.”
But this is a lie.
Know how I know?
The toughest thing to change in anybody’s heart or in anyone’s mind is their belief system. If there is no belief then there is no effort; in which case, people quit on themselves because put simply, they don’t believe “This” could ever be “Them.”
Some people live their entire life this way. Some people never give themselves the permission to live how they want, or try or dream. Some people lock themselves away and keep themselves beneath the weight of their own disbelief. And they say, “This is just me.”
“I can’t be anything else.”
This is not true.
This is only true to the person that doesn’t believe in themselves.
This is why in the face of change, start where you can. Do what you can. Make moves. Don’t be afraid. And stop seeing life as pass or fail, win or lose, success or defeat.
People say things like, “I just can’t do it.”
“I just can’t.”
This is why I believe in the words from St. Francis. Start by doing what’s necessary. Then do what’s possible. Trust me, you’ll be doing the impossible before you know it.
You just have to believe it!
I relate to this a lot; it is just so hard to get out of that rut of thinking that I can’t do anything else. You are so right about giving oneself permission to try.