If you ask me, I’ll tell you. And the answer is sure, I have a dream. I have ideas and I have hopes. I have them the same as I have my flesh and blood. And I say it this way because this is my body. This is my brain. And the hopes I share and the dreams I tell you about are as real as my mind, body and soul. They are not meant to be a secret. I say this because it used to be that I would never dare to tell a soul. I would never dare to say what my dreams were or what my hopes were. I would never do this because they were too real and too raw. Plus, what if I mentioned them aloud and then found out that none of them would ever came true. Then what?
Would you like to know what my dream is?
I want to build something. I want to create a plan and a program. I want to bring something into action and design something that no one has ever seen before. I want this to be lifesaving and game changing. Period. End of sentence.
I want to take the pain away from the child that does not have the ability to explain themselves. I want to help solve the unending riddles that go through our minds. And when I say this, I mean the tortuous riddles that beat us into submission; I mean the endless unnecessary questions we keep asking in different ways. I want to find a way to solve the personal mysteries so that at last we can rest and find peace within ourselves.
I want to build this as much as I want to breathe my next breath.
I want to see someone smile. And I want this smile to be as real as it gets. I want to rid the irrational fears and pains. I want to see a smile, so huge or as big (and as important) as the sky. I want to be able to create a process that washes away the ideas that hold us back or punish us with doubt and insecurity.
I want to build a place where people can go and live and find themselves when they are lost. I know there are some that say I’m crazy. And to this I say, it’s true. I am crazy.
Sure, I’m crazy.
I’m crazy enough to understand what it feels like to be trapped inside of myself, only to feel desperate to be free and want to jump out from my own skin.
I want to build something.
I want to build a farm in the middle of a large property. I want to build a place that is as beautiful as ever. I want to create a place where we are all self-sufficient. We can learn here and talk about the lessons in life that no one teaches.
As a matter of fact, I was thinking about a small town that I recently heard about. In fairness, I don’t know much about the town at all. I just know that I have an imagination. I know the town is about an hour north of where my Mother grew up in Carlsbad, New Mexico.
I view this place as a ghost town. And from what I’ve heard, my vision might not be too far off.
I have an idea in my head to resurrect this place and create a little town of our own.
We could build a little town called Wellness.
We would have housing for those in need of special attention. We could help them with navigation of care. We could be a place where people go when life just doesn’t make much sense anymore. More to the point, we can be an alternative to the depressive state, which some people live in for their entire lives. We could build this place and they could be happy. This is my dream.
You want to know if I have dreams? Well, now you know. I have big ones. Huge ones. I have dreams that I look to achieve on a daily basis. And some of my dreams are answers for my sins.
Some of this is my penance. Some of this is to right the wrongs I have, which remain in my heart. Some of my dreams are random acts of kindness. Some of my dreams are the amends I need to make to rid myself of my guilt and shame. Some of my dreams are esteemable acts to build my self-esteem and improve my life on a daily basis.
By the way. did I ever tell you how much I hate bullies?
Because I do.
Did I ever tell you why?
I was bullied. I was bullied by others as well as myself. In fairness, I was my own worst bully because I fed the fires in my head. I fed my doubts and my fears. I kept them alive instead of cutting them off.
I don’t like bullies.
I don’t like the social cancers they create or the culture they feed. I don’t like the feelings of neediness or the humbling ideas that perhaps I or you or anyone is not up to par. I don’t like the idea of anyone feeling less-than because of an inaccurate and unsolicited social standards which we have been given since birth.
I want to build a plan and create a strategy that helps people navigate away from their depressive thinking and teaches us how to quench our thirst from our own wellspring.
I want to build a program that allows us to become inexhaustible, unbreakable, or better yet, I want to bring something into action that allows us to replace our problematic thinking with possibilities so we can turn obstacles into opportunities.
I don’t want to see another person turn inwards or give in or give way to a thought process that does nothing but bring us down. I want to believe.
I want to see us all bathed and clean from a thought process that has done nothing but weigh down the loftiness of our dreams, which deserve to be free.
I tell you this much:
If I can see a kid overcome this; if I can watch someone beat this and create a plan with them so that they could live without the inner bully then yes, this would be part of my dream.
By the way, I was able to speak with a few people yesterday in a small group setting. Our plan was to talk about what I would do with a large group setting.
It was so nice to watch people nod their head, as if finally, someone understood. No matter what our age is and no matter where we come from; no matter how we live, wealthy or poor, happy or sad, the truth is we all have dreams.
This is where our version of success comes from. And I don’t mean financial success. I don’t mean professional success. I’ve met people that live with humble means and to them, their life is absolutely perfect. Meanwhile, I have met people with no financial concerns whatsoever, and yet, they are miserable as they come.
Happiness and success is not an exclusive club.
Do you want to talk about inclusion?
Do you want to talk about diversity and equity?
Okay then, fine.
Happiness and success is a state of mind. This has nothing to do with virtue signaling to show people all the great little things you do. This has nothing to do with the surface levels or keeping up with the Jones’ next door.
Happiness and success comes from within. This is unique to us all. Therefore, in order to find our best sense of happiness, we need to understand what this means to us. It is helpful to find our own path instead of comparing or believing in a blueprint that was given to us by a social norm.
Maybe someday that farm of mine will be open to the public. This will be a place called The Second Family. Perhaps we can build this in a little town we call Wellness.
(Anything is possible, right?)
With a tear in my eye, I cannot allow this dream to go unsaid, or unknown. I have to put this out there. Otherwise, dreams like this are kept in the shadows and never allowed the chance to have its face touch the warmth of sunlight.
You know how it feels to have your face touch the warmth of sunlight . . .