I am going to begin here at this line, which I call the start of my day. The sunrise is climbing higher now. The sun does not carry much warmth this morning and the snow on the ground is pretty to say the least. I am going to start here, at the beginning of my day with hopes to unchain myself from the process of thought.
I say this because this is very important. I say this because our thinking is impactful and can either be our source of empowerment or a tragic downfall, depending upon our angle. And here we are again.
We are trapped in a sense, but yet free, or either or. We are able and capable or yet, internally, we are not free at all if we find ourselves locked up or stuck in a crazy mind set. We are not free if we overthink or over analyze. Instead, we are held here in our personal purgatory; unable to move onwards and afraid to be left back.
Here we are in this mansion or prison. We live here in either this 5×9 cell or wait no, here we are, alive in life and exploring this great journey that exists just beyond our doorstep.
We can live either one of two ways. We can exist, which is not living at all. We can exist, which is life in the demolition of overthinking. We can dissect everything we see, think and feel.
We can analyze and assume, prepare and jump to conclusions. We can live our life, hinged upon the outcomes of our assumed failures or be chained to the doubts of ourselves. We can sink deeply into this and be rooted, like a cavity that rots our ability to take a bite out of life.
We can live this way, which again, this is not living at all. Or, we can take a breath, stand up, take a walk. Feel the wind on our face and explore. We can be free to try, think, taste and do new things.
We can dare to go out of our comfort zone. We can cast aside all of our inhibitions and be free from our personal restraints. We can turn away from the critics. We can shut off the internal critic, which is the loudest critic of all.
More importantly, we can give ourselves the permission to be us; to be free by being exactly who we are without worry or concern and without the ideas of having to apologize for what we think, feel or believe.
I am going to start this now while the sun comes through my window. It is early still and the streets are quiet. I have this moment, which is right here and now. I have the cool fresh air outside and pods of white snow that traces the branches of the evergreens. I have a blue sky above which is unblemished and with no clouds in sight.
I can do one of two things with this. I can live for this. I can enjoy this. I can step outside and let the wind blow through my hair or, I can do otherwise.
I can live in yesterday. I can rethink my so-called failures and recount each step that I missed. I can rehash the things I wished I’d said. Or, I can let me move past the demolition of overthinking. I can allow myself the permission to step away from my restraints and give myself the freedom that I truly deserve.
There is no way to redo the past. There is no way to relitigate what has happened. There is no way that we can change what we’ve said or left unsaid, or more, there is no way to change the unalterable moments of a time that’s gone by.
We have now. We can take a chance with this. We can use this to make our changes. We can create our comeback and grant us the right to improve in any which way we choose.
Our perception of truth is not always true. Our perception of us or the way we perform is not always accurate. And life’s a stage. Life’s a stage with no script, no rules, no directors or producers. There’s just us, trying to live, and trying to get by each day as best as we can. So, smile.
The dangers of overthinking run into the dangers of depressive living. Life this way means everything is based on past events, which limits our ability to make better futures. This makes it nearly impossible to reach our best potential.
Overthinking causes us to pause when we are supposed to move forward. More accurately, overthinking, over analyzing, and living with an overly critical mindset is nothing more than living a life imprisoned in our own mind.
In which case, here we are again, trapped and stuck and unaware of our personal wealth. Here we are, unaware of our true beauty because we believe the lies of an inaccurate ugliness. Here we are, stuck this way because we have learned and allowed to become our personal program. This is our personal bias. This is our subconscious program.
Here we are again, rehearsing old conversations and instances; as if we can rehearse them and change them by thinking about them over and over again. We torture ourselves this way, when in fact, nothing about yesterday will ever change. Nothing about regret will ever change if we do nothing else but interact with the regrettable yesterdays and keep them alive.
Here we are, overthinking again. Here we are, caught in our mental prison or sinking in our emotional quicksand because deep down, we know that we are capable of so much more.
We know we are capable of better. We are capable of great things. But yet, how (if at all) can we achieve even the smallest victories if all we do is recalculate our losses?
Yesterday is over. The curtain is closed on that act. The lights went out. And I get it, the show might not have gone the way we wanted. I get that. There are times when I feel this way too. I think about this myself.
I have been locked in that personal prison the same as the next person.
I’ve kept myself prisoner and stuck behind the bars of the things I cannot change. Meanwhile, I forgot about the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
I forgot about my ability to improve. The curtain closed on yesterday but the show is only beginning. I can do one of two things now. I can relive old performances that did not reach the mark or, I can adapt and perform. I can allow myself the permission to improve. I can offer myself an “Out,” which is this.
Here we are now. The day is just starting. We are at a new beginning. We have one of two options:
We can live for this or we can let it pass and be nothing else, but a prisoner in our own mind. The choice is ours. Therefore, I choose this. I choose me or more importantly, I choose freedom.