Time To Go

I don’t know if it’s the same for kids today. Is it?
Do they want to be firefighters or astronauts anymore? I suppose my question is do they pretend the way we used to?
It is currently snowing in my part of the hemisphere. As I write this to you, the sky is in the early stages of daybreak. There are large snowflakes falling on the ground. The snow is not heavy by any means. However, the accumulation is only enough to cover the ground. There’s a a trace of white that has perched on the limbs of trees. The evergreens are the only semblance of color. Otherwise, there is a certain grayness to the day, which is almost black and white.

I wonder if kids today see moments like this with the same amazement. I wonder if they sit in classrooms and run to windows at the sight of snowfall. I know we used to. We used to sleigh down hills. Then again, we used to go to playgrounds and swing on swings when we were kids. 

I see them. Our kids.
I see them smile and find that their curiosity is still there. I want to tell them. I want to show them. I want them to know about the bully in their mind and how this is only fear. I want them to know that what they have is perfectly wonderful. So dream. Play pretend. Try new things and at whichever way possible, try not to be cynical. Steer away from the skeptics and above all else, never be afraid to be wholesome.

And there’s a reason why I say this.
(I suppose you’ll relate.)

Out of everything I’ve pretended to be, I’m not sure if I’ve ever pretended to be this or who I am now. Especially as of late, I have seen people curse their chains of command. I have listened to people who complain about the powers that be. I have watched them shoot their middle fingers at people who show commitment or look to improve.
I have seen that there are dreamers and there are doers. There are people who talk and people who act. There are people who dream and wish; yet, they’ve never laced up their boots or roll up their sleeves.
I have sat in meetings with planners who never get their events off the ground. Moreover, I have sat in hour-long meetings to discuss problems that could have been resolved with an email or phone call. At the same time, I have worked with people who have literally become mindless. All they do is work and produce. They’ve become more machine like than a person. They never look up or left or right. They never take notice or see what new ideas may come. Instead, they follow orders and and turn like a sprocket in a gear.

I have seen proof that dreamers need to do more. And doers need to dream more. I’m sure that we’ve all seen this. But more than anything, I see the need to create a perfect balance between both.
I’ve seen dreamers curse at the doers because they do too much. Adversely, I’ve seen doers curse the dreamers because they dream too much. Both want the same thing. Both want success. Both the doers and the dreamers want to be happy; yet, there is a lopsidedness that keeps this from happening.

In full disclosure, I used to curse at everyone. I cursed the dreamers and the doers and the people who moved ahead of me. I cursed the people whom I swore that it was obvious they’ve forgotten where they came from. They’re too high up to know what it’s like to struggle anymore. They’ve forgotten what it feels like to hurt or bleed. Meanwhile, I never took a second to think that maybe it was their blood and pain that taught them how to reach the next level. I never accounted for the work they put in. I never took a look inwards and realized how I failed to launch.
I never dared to be honest enough to say that perhaps this was me.
I never dared. Maybe this was me because I was nothing more than a critic. I was pointing my finger in disgust and meanwhile, I was disgusted with me because deep down – I knew it was me who gave in and never took a shot. Deep down, I knew that I had hopes and visions but I never dared or put my name in the hat. I was too afraid of rejection. I was too afraid of disappointment; therefore, out of fear, I never dared. Because I never dared, I never earned the right to be happy.

This is valuable to me.

I go through these dialogues with myself of “Who am I” or “What do I want to be,” which by the way, all of the answers require effort. Even the questions need effort. Everything we do requires work. More importantly, this requires faith. The answer to these questions is simple. I want to be happy. I want to be fulfilled. However, the efforts to be anything must be addressed by human effort.
This means nothing will come easily. This means I have to take part in my future. Otherwise, everything left is open to chance. And it’s true. Risk is involved.
Although I may try, there’s a chance that my dreams will not come true. However, there’s absolutely no chance they’ll come true if I never try at all. 

This is what I’ve seen:
I have seen the bitterness of those who restricted themselves due to the limitations of their mind. I’ve heard their accusations of others, which were only a harsh criticism due to their personal projections of themselves.
I have watched people curse at others who take advancement classes. I’ve listened to people shoot down the credentials of those who chose to improve. I see this and I wonder is this who they really want to be? Is this what they want to do, criticize people?
Is this who I want to be?
No, it’s not.

It’s been a long time since I’ve played cops and robbers. It’s been a long time since I’ve played pretend about anything I wanted to do when I grew up. I haven’t thought about being an astronaut in a long time. I suppose we can all say this.

But . . .
This doesn’t mean that I don’t pretend. No, I’ve pretended to fit in. I’ve pretended to understand the subjects of a meeting. I’ve pretended to like and enjoy people, places and things. I’ve pretended to care.
I’ve pretended to fake it until I make it. But in the end, this was only pretend. And I don’t want to pretend anymore. Know what I mean?
I don’t want to pretend that my hopes are around the corner. I don’t want to pretend that my dreams are on their way. Dreaming has been great for me. I can dream very well; however, action makes dreams come true, which is why I am writing this to you.

I am writing this because this is personal. I am writing this as a contract between us because at this point, my odometer is rounding upwards and the mileage is climbing higher. Time has the unfortunate ability of running out. I suppose this is why they say “Youth is wasted on the young.”

Don’t be afraid to dream
Don’t be afraid to do
Don’t be afraid to try
Don’t be afraid to miss

Don’t be afraid of the critics
Don’t be afraid of the pointed finger
Don’t be the one that forfeits their life away
Now more than ever:
Don’t be the person you are simply because you are afraid to dare be the person you’ve always wanted to be.
Don’t give into the bullyisms of the world.
(Pay them no mind.)
Do not self-destruct
Don’t be someone else’s description
Don’t be their prediction
Be you!
Be proud of this because if you are, if you can pull off this trick without the regards of the crowd or the cheers and the critics, this is the best thing that you can ever be.

And I know it’s taken me a long time to say this to you
But here it is.
Trust me: You’re amazing.

No go out there.
Dream and do.

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